Game of Love
by Jazminadra
Summary: When a small town girl Bella Swan moves to California to live with her dad, she doesn't have any idea about the ways her life is about to change. She struggles to find her place in her new world as she falls for the one guy she thought she never would. AH
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I finnally got this here!  
****The beginning is kind of slow but it will get better :) Anyway I hope you like it and please review and let me know what you think!  
****And lots of thanks to my beta ****EvangelineHale for correcting all my stupid mistakes and making the text better :)**

**Game of Love**

Prologue

When I arrived at Huntington Beach, everything seemed to be wrong. It was hot, bright and the sun was too close. I mean, I knew that it was going to be warm; we were in California, after all, but still. And the colors were all wrong too – I immediately missed the greenness of Forks when I stepped out of the plane. I missed forest, the trees, and the meadow. The meadow was my place, that's where I went whenever I needed quiet and peaceful place to think, or when I just wanted to be alone. And that happened quite often. I was the kind of person who didn't mind to spend time alone, so I was fine living in a small town. A complete opposite to all the other girls in my class, who dreamed about big cities and new places. Not that I didn't want to leave someday, because I did. But just not yet. I was fine living there now. I and mom were fine alone. We didn't need anyone else.

Or at least that's what I thought. When Phil came into the picture – everything became complicated. Phil didn't like me and I didn't even bother pretending that I liked him. And when Phil moved in, I moved out – it was that simple. My mom felt terribly guilty about the whole thing of course, because that's what mothers do. And I guess that she was going to miss me too, but I knew that it was the right thing to do; there just wasn't enough space for both, Phil and I. It probably would have made more sense for Phil to go, after all I was there first, but mom was happy with him and I couldn't take that away from her.

So I found myself here, in my new room, in a completely new town where I didn't know anyone – I don't think I had ever felt so lost in my life before. After I'd left the plane, I had met Charlie in the airport and he had introduced me to his new wife, Sue, who wore thick piles of makeup, high heels and giggled a lot. Then they took me to their big, luxurious house and showed me my new room, which was only about two times the size of my old room. So there I was, sitting on the edge of my large bed and wondering what the hell I was doing here.

Someone knocked my door and woke me from my thoughts.

"Come in", I said and Sue walked in with a cup of tea and chocolate cookies.

"I thought you might want a cup of tea or a cookie – I made them myself – and then we'll talk what you want to do this evening."

I took the cup she was handing me and tasted the tea. It was good, vanilla, and I realized how hungry I was, as it had been a while since I'd last eaten, so I took a chocolate chip cookie too.

Sue watched happily, as I bite my cookie, and then she started to speak again. "So what'd you want to do tonight? There's a big mall, near our house, or we could show you the beach or we can go eat outside."

"Um… I would just like to be at home tonight", I said. "I mean, it's late already, and school starts tomorrow."

"Oh, come on, don't be boring!" Sue said. "It's your first night here, we got to do something fun."

I smiled a strained smile. I didn't know exactly what her idea of fun was but I was pretty sure it didn't match with mine. "I'm actually a bit tired still, and I haven't unpacked everything yet", I tried to explain.

"Well, we could at least go eat out?" she asked hopefully. "I mean, I'm good at baking, but I honestly can't cook. And you must know that your dad doesn't even know how to boil water."

"Yeah", I admitted. "I know."

"Yay!" Sue cried, apparently taking my answer as an agreement. "Come on, let's go."

She pulled me out of the bed, and danced downstairs, my teacup on the other hand and cookies, on the other. I followed her little more calmly.

We got to Charlie's new, expensive car and I wondered again, when did Charlie start to buying expensive cars and live in houses with big swimming pools? I mean, I knew that he was wealthier now than he had been back then when he was still a small town's chef police, but I hadn't actually realized, that my dad was now _rich_.

During our drive Sue and Charlie were chatting about some charity party that they were going to go next week, and I sat quietly and looked out of the window. Every house looked as fancy as Charlie and Sue's, or even more, and everybody had at least one swimming pool. I felt so _wrong_ here.

We drove to the beach; Sue told me she wanted to show me the beach first, since it was the best part of the city. I thought I agreed with her on that. The smell of sea, and the waves reminded me little about home. We used to go to La Push beach with my mom sometimes, but even the smell was wrong and again I had to remind myself of all the reasons why I'd left.

The beach was beautiful and we walked a little before we went to an Italian restaurant and ate our dinner. Charlie and Sue were talking and laughing; apparently trying to make me feel more comfortable, but I didn't play along. I didn't belong here and we all knew it. I didn't even know these people. I saw Charlie about once a year and I hadn't even met Sue before.

After the dinner I finally got back to my new room and got to be alone. I was so tired, but I couldn't sleep. I missed home, I missed my old bed and I missed my mom. I started to feel that I would be even unhappier here, I didn't fit in with these rich kids and their fabulous life. And I was sure that tomorrow would be a nightmare.

Chapter 1

Bella's PoV

Why was the light so bright? The ending of March was supposed to be cloudy and rainy and miserable in Forks. And why it was so hot? Even the summer wasn't so hot in Forks. Something was wrong. I opened my eyes, and realized that this wasn't my old room in our house in Forks. It took me another second to realize, that this was my new room at Charlie's big, fancy house at Huntington Beach, California. Oh. That explained the hotness. And the sun.

I rose up and sighed looking around. It was Monday. My first school day at Huntington Beach High. Great.

I brushed both my teeth and hair and dressed up in my old faded jeans and t-shirt. Then I grabbed my backbag and hurried downstairs, where Sue was already waiting me with breakfast.

"Here", Sue said dropping car keys on my palm. "You can use my second car for now. You know how to get to your school, right?"

"Yeah", I nodded. I had checked the map earlier and my new high school was close to Charlie's house.

After I had gulped a glass of orange juice and ate one sandwich that Sue had made me, I was ready to go. Even though actually I didn't feel at all like I was ready to go. I hadn't been this nervous for a long time, I was sure that everyone was going to hate me and I wouldn't fit in.

Anyway, I just smiled to Sue as bravely as I could and went out of the front door, because I didn't have any choice.

I hopped into Sue's red Chevrolet and drove to my new school. Less than twenty minutes later I'd parked in the school's parking lot and I was looking up at the big white building and the parking lot that was full of laughing people and fancy cars; and I felt so … _outsider_.

I took one long breath and closed my eyes for a while. Then I opened them, got my backbag and stepped out of the car. It was going to be ok. It was all going to be ok, even though I missed my mom and Forks and the trees and everything, but I needed to do this, and everything would turn out ok, because it had to.

I walked inside the building and into the huge lobby. It was full people, smiling and talking to one another. They all seemed to be gorgeous and rich – I couldn't help but wonder why Charlie had sign me into this elite high school full of rich arrogant kids. He should have known me better than that.

I realized that this school was so much bigger than mine, and that there wasn't a chance that I'd be able to find my way around here by myself. I asked help for one friendly-enough looking boy and he directed me up the stairs to where I finally found the principal's office.

The principal was a young, friendly woman. She gave me the map of the school, my new time table and a locker key, wished me luck and let me go. I went back to the lobby and started the long search my locker, finding it in a corner near the stairs.

I opened it and realized that someone had left some of their stuff there. There were two books, lip gloss and an old picture of a kissing couple. I throw them to the trash bin and then put my own books in their places.

I was just closing my locker again, when a girl walked beside me and opened the locker next to

mine. Something about the girl grabbed my attention. Maybe it was her short length or the fact that she was breathtakingly beautiful or maybe it was just the way she walked, in a long light steps, more like she was dancing.

When she noticed that I was looking at her she turned to face me.

"Oh, hello, I'm Alice Brandon. You must be the new girl", the girl said and smiled at me sweetly. I looked her more closely. She had a short, black hair that stuck out in every direction and brown eyes and she looked like some kind of exotic pixie. She was wearing strapless blue dress and black ballerinas and had an expensive-looking hand bag. Despite her short length, she looked like she belonged to a catwalk rather than in a high school. She appeared to me like some kind of magical creature and a little out of place. Or maybe it was me that was out of place.

"Yeah, I'm Bella Swan. Nice to meet you", I said little warily, rich and beautiful people weren't usually nice. Rich and beautiful people didn't usually talk to me.

"Nice to meet you too. If you need someone to show you places or something just ask me", she said smiling. "I would like to get to know you."

"Umm… thanks", I said a little puzzled. "I mean, that would be nice", I added, not wanting to sound rude.

"Anyway, I gotta go to my class now, see you later Bella", she said, slammed her locker door shut and danced away.

I realized that I was almost late and hurried to my first class, English. That was good, I thought, I liked English. My new English teacher, Mr. Mason was tall and balding man, though he looked nice and friendly enough.

"Good morning, kids", he said, as he walked in front of the classroom. "This is our new student, Bella, I hope you all make her feel very welcome. Take a seat Bella."

I sat in the last free place in the class, at the back, next to honey blond haired guy. He was tall and masculine, but still skinny. He looked somehow like he didn't belong there any more than I did. He had ordinary white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans and he looked like he was deeply in his thought as he didn't even look at me when I sat next to him. Or maybe he just wasn't interested.

Mr. Mason clapped his hands together. "Okay, class, let's start. You should all have finished _Wuthering Heights_ by now, so let's discuss about it a little first, before you start to do your essay."

That was easy, I thought, I had read _Wuthering Heights_ many times before, it was one of my favorite books.

"So Jessica, will you tell us little about themain characters and the relationship between the two of them."

"Um", the girl called Jessica started unsurely. I was pretty sure she hadn't even opened the book. "They loved each others, right?"

Mr. Mason sighed. "Thank you, Jessica; that's not the way to pass high school, you know."

"Does anyone else have anything to say? What about you, Bella, do you want to say something about Heathcliff and Catherine?" He looked at me, but I could tell that he didn't really expect me to have anything to say.

"Well", I started. "They are not typical literature characters. Catherine was selfish and married a rich man, instead of the one she loved, Heathcliff was evil and selfish too, and he's described rather ugly than beautiful, unlike the male main characters usually are. Some might say that Catherine and Heathcliff couldn't even love each others, but I believe that their love to each other was the best part of them."

Everyone was silent in the class, when I finished and I noticed that Mr. Mason looked impressed. Then the boy next to me opened his mouth. "I agree with you. And after all these are the traits that we all have, we are selfish, we don't always make the right choices, we don't do, what our hearts tells us and we think ourselves first, but still we can love. Actually the characters are much more realistic than in many other books."

"Thank you Bella and Jasper", the teacher said, pleased that someone had apparently read the book. "And now back to your exercise…"

I stopped listening to the teacher and turned to face Jasper. "You've read the Wuthering Heights?" I asked surprised.

"Well, it was homework", he said and shrugged. Though it was clear, that he would have read it anyway. "I'm Jasper Whitlock by the way."

"Bella Swan", I smiled. I liked Jasper.

"So, where are you from, Bella Swan?" he asked.

"Forks, Washington", I said.

Jasper nodded. "I've hear about it. The cold, rainy small town. They have an interesting history, werewolves and cold ones and everything."

"Just old legends", I said smiling, surprised that he knew about the legends.

"Mr. Whitlock and Ms. Swan, I don't allow speaking in my class, when I'm trying to give you exercises, even if you are the only ones who have done their homework. If you have something to say, you can say it to all of us, after I've finished."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Mason, we don't have anything to say", Jasper said to him and gave me a smile before he paid all his attention to the teacher. Jasper seemed nice and friendly, I thought. Who knew, maybe we would become friends.

After English class I had boring math lesson that I spent dozing alone in the back seat and after that was lunch break. I hesitated at the door of the cafeteria, which was already almost full of people. I didn't see Jasper anywhere and I didn't know where I could sit.

"Hi Bella", I heard a voice behind me and when I turned around I saw the pixie-like girl, Alice Brandon.

"Hi Alice", I said relieved. At least there was someone who I knew.

"You can come sit with us if you want to", Alice said smiling and looking excited, like she actually wanted me to sit with them, and it felt nice.

"Thanks", I said smiling back at her.

"Alice, have you seen the new –" someone called her and we both turned around and I saw the source of the voice, bronze haired boy, who was walking towards us. His eyes spotted me in the middle of the sentence. "- girl yet", he finished as he turned his eyes on me.

First I noticed his beautiful, green eyes first as they turned to look at me. It was a bit of a shock, like something had hit me when I looked into his eyes. They looked so... knowing. Like he knew something I didn't have any idea about. He looked at me up and down and suddenly I felt nervous, I was awkwardly aware of my worn out jeans and shabby t-shirt and I wished I had picked something nicer to wear. I couldn't understand the way my body reacted to his appearance, my heart was beating faster and it felt like I couldn't breathe. Of course he was handsome, absolutely breathtaking, but it still didn't explain my reaction. I didn't usually react like that.

"Bella, this is Edward Cullen", Alice said after a while. I didn't have any idea how long I had stared at him.

"Hello Bella", Edward said sounding slightly amused for some reason and gave me a crooked smile.

I blushed and mumbled "Hello", and then blushed some more, imagining how idiotic I must look in their eyes.

"Shall we go?" Edward said and winking to me. For some reason Alice looked little irritated and gave Edward an odd look. Edward just grinned to her and I wondered what was going on between them.

We took our lunch and Alice lead us to the corner table, where were two people already; A blonde girl, who was extremely stunning, maybe even more beautiful, than Alice. She was wearing black high heeled boots, gray jeans and a blue top. Her clothes were simple, but she still looked amazing in them. A guy, with a curly dark hair had thrown his arm around her shoulder and they were talking to each others in low whispers.

"Those are Rosalie and Emmett", Alice introduced. "They had had an on-off relationship going on like forever. They're fighting all the time, or if they're not they're making out – sometimes they even make out while they fight."

"Okay", I said laughing at Alice's introduction. Emmett has raised his head, when he heard Alice's voice, and now he was grinning at me.

"You must be the new girl?" Emmett asked.

"She's Bella", Alice said, until I had change to answer him.

"Nice to meet you, come sit", Emmett said and patted the chair next to him. I smiled at him and sat next to him. I looked at Rosalie, who was looking me with an estimating look in her face and I felt uncomfortable. I smiled at her shyly and she nodded back to me. Edward sat opposite me and Alice on the chair next to him.

After we all had sat down, they started to chat lightly. Edward smiled at me again and I thought that it was good thing that I was sitting, because my knees went weak and I might've fallen if I'd been standing. Almost immediately after that, I thought how stupid I was. I, Bella Swan, wasn't that kind of girl; I didn't lose my mind if a cute guy smiled to me.

Okay, a handsome guy.

Okay, extremely good looking and absolutely gorgeous guy, but that was so not the point.

I didn't notice that I had fallen deeply in my thought, until Edward spoke to me. "So where are you from, Bella?" he asked smiling.

I jumped a little. "Um", I started. It took me some time to get my thoughts back together. "From Forks, Washington", I mumbled.

Edward looked slightly amused, and I wasn't sure was it my words or my expression. "Forks, Washington", he repeated. "Did you like it there?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Guess so."

"Well, I'm sure you're going to like it here", Edward said and winked at me _again_. I saw that Alice gave Edward cautionary look again, though I still didn't understand why.

Then Edward changed the subject suddenly and turned towards Alice. "Party, tonight. At Lauren Mallory's place. You coming?"

"Fine", Alice said shrugging. "Don't have anything better to do anyway. Bella, are you coming?"

"Um, I don't know. It's a schoolnight?" I said and it sounded more like a question that I had meant it to.

"So?" Alice said laughing like I had just said something extremely funny. "Oh come on, don't be boring."

I though it for a while. I didn't usually party at schoolnight. Well, I usually didn't party any other night either. But on the other hand, I've just found friendly enough people that seemed to want to be my friends. "Okay then, fine", I said.

"Yay!" Alice cried happily. "I'll pick you up at seven."

When we had finished our lunch and were going to go to our next class, Alice pulled me aside. "Bella, I need to tell you something", she said. "About Edward."

I looked at her curiously, wandering what she was about to say. "Yes?" I asked her. Edward, Rosalie and Emmett had already left the cafeteria so we were alone.

Alice was quiet for a moment, like she didn't know what to say. "Bella, you seem nice, so I thought I should warn you. You shouldn't fell in love with Edward."

"Why not?" I asked frowning, confused. And why did Alice thought I would fell in love with Edward? Surely I wasn't that obvious.

"Well, Edward is one of my best friends and he's a really nice person, when you get to know him. But he's not exactly one girl's man. He gets bored easily, his longest relationship lasted about four days and pretty much every girl, who had fallen in love with him – and there's lot of them – had broke their heart", Alice explained.

"Oh", I said. I should have known it; Edward was a player and a heartbreaker. I knew there was something wrong with all the handsomeness and winking. "Why do you think I'd fell in love with him?"

"Well, because, who doesn't?" Alice said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm just saying that you don't want to mess with him. Believe me, he can break girl's heart in a second if he wants to. And he's far more experienced than you are."

I was about to mention that Alice didn't actually know anything about my experiences but I had to admit that she was right. I didn't even have any experiences.

"Well, don't worry, because I really don't have any intensions to fall in love with him." Or fall in love with anybody else for that matter, it would just make things even more difficult.

Alice didn't seem convinced, but she just nodded. "I just thought I should warn you", she said shrugging and walked away.

I walked to my next classroom fallen in my thought again. I thought about Edward and what Alice had just said about him. Even if I'd started to fall for him, from the very first moment, I've seen him that was over. Like I had said, I really didn't have any intensions to fall for Edward, especially, now when Alice had made it extremely clear that he would just break my heart. It still didn't explain why I felt slightly disappointed.

My next class was biology. I got lost and when I finally found the right classroom, I was already late. Great, must have made quite an impression to the teacher. But Mr. Banner seemed to be a nice teacher. He just smiled at me and said that since this was my first day, it didn't matter. And then he just ordered me to my place, without any awkward introduces.

The classroom was almost full. There was only one empty seat - right next to Edward Cullen.

I sat next to him unwillingly; having already decided that it was better if I stayed as far away from him as I could. There was something weird with the way that my body and mind reacted to Edward Cullen, something I hadn't experienced before and it terrified me. I knew that this guy would only know trouble, so I've decided that I'd better stay away from him. But avoiding him was going to be tricky, since we were now lab partners.

"Hi, Bella", Edward grinned, as I sat down.

"Hi", I mumbled and felt like a total idiot again. What was it about this guy that I just couldn't act like a normal person around him? And what made my heart beat a little faster and my breath to get heavier.

Mr. Banner started to teach but I couldn't concentrate. I didn't even know what the subject was. I was just oddly aware of Edward sitting next to me, just few inches away.

We didn't speak to each others during the whole class. After Mr. Banner stopped teaching, he told us some questions to answer in our note books. I just drew something random in my notebook unable to focus on the questions.

When the class ended, one page of my note book was filled with hearts.

Outside of the classroom Edward just smiled at me and went away for his next class. I walked in my next class, thinking of Edward's smile. How his lips curved, little amused, showing his perfectly white teeth.

What the heck was I thinking? This is not how you stay away from Edward Cullen.

I barely survived the gym and after that, my first day in Huntington Beach high was finally over. Alice waved goodbye to me and said that she would pick me up at seven.

On the school yard I meat Jasper Whitlock from the English class again.

"Hey Bella", he said and smiled at me.

"Hi", I said and slowed down my steps, so that he could reach me.

"How was your first day?" Jasper asked me.

I was quiet for a while. It wasn't that bad really, Alice seemed fun and Jasper was nice too. And Edward was… well, he was something new. Something I didn't actually know how to react to but it would be fine. I would figure it all out.

"Fine, really", I said truthfully.

"So the rich kids aren't driving you crazy yet?" Jasper asked, grinning.

"They're not all that bad", I said.

"Yeah, well most of them are, anyway", Jasper said shrugging.

"Probably", I admitted.

We walked in silence for a moment towards the parking lot. "So, what are you planning to do tonight?" Jasper asked after a while.

"Well, Alice is taking me to some party", I said.

"Alice?" he asked quickly, snapping his head up to me a lot faster than usual.

"You know Alice Brandon?" I said.

"Yeah, I know her", he said and there was something weird in his eyes as he said it.

I hesitated for a while. "You should come too, it's at someone named Lauren Mallory", I told him.

"I don't know", he said. "I'm not really a party person."

I smiled. "I'm not either. But you should come, if it's horrible, at least I know someone nice there."

"Maybe", he said, smiled at me and walked to his motorcycle. I watched as he drove away; I wouldn't have guessed that Jasper would have been a motorcycle person either.

When I got back to Charlie's house – I mean, home – Sue was already waiting for me.

"Hey, darling!" Sue cried and came to hug me. I got a feeling that she was being just a little too melodramatic. "How was your first day?"

"It was fine, thanks", I said and stepped few steps away from her.

"Oh, I'm so glad to hear that!" Sue smiled, "Did you make lots of new friends?"

"Um… yeah", I mumbled. "I met couple of nice kids."

"That's so good. I knew you're going to fit in well here", Sue said.

Yeah, sure, I thought nodding my head.

"But now," Sue said and got something from her pocket. "Your dad forgot to give this to you", Sue said and handed me something small and flat.

I took it and realized that it was American express card. I looked at Sue, for an explanation.

"It's for emergencies," Sue told me, "every girl needs a credit card for emergencies."

"Right," I nodded, "for emergencies." I felt like pointing out to her that I never had a credit card for emergencies, and still somehow, I had survived for seventeen years.

"Emergencies like a sudden, irresistible urge to go shopping", Sue added winking her eye.

I nodded. "Yeah."

I didn't know what to do with my new card and after a while I just put it in my jeans pocket.

"So what are you going to do today?" Sue asked me then, smiling all the while.

"I'm going to a party," I said. "I mean, if it's okay with you guys", I added, not really knowing how they would take to my plans. I knew that my mom wouldn't allow me to go to a party in the middle of the week – not that there would have been any in Forks.

"Of course! You don't have to ask things like that, I mean you're a big girl now, right?" Sue said.

"Right", I said. Apparently Sue wasn't like my mom with rules. Not that I had needed them anyway; I spent most of my free time at home in Forks.

But this wasn't Forks, I reminded myself. Things were different now. And who knew, maybe it would be a good thing in the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks, matthias4ever, I love that you love this :D  
****Here comes chapter two!  
Hope you like it and please review, I would love to know what you think :) **

Chapter 2

Edward's PoV

I sat at Lauren Mallory's couch, knocking back my drink and feeling more bored as time passed. What was the point of being young, rich and good-looking, when you didn't even have good parties to attend? Or maybe I just wasn't in a mood for a party. I laughed at myself; that was funny; I was always in a mood for a party.

I was thinking about the new girl, Bella Swan. Against all odds, there was something in this girl that got my attention. Maybe it was the fact, that she was so totally different, than all the other girls here. And I was kind of tired of all the girls in here, they were all so fake.

I shook my head amused; what was I thinking? I was Edward Cullen; I only needed girls for one thing and that had nothing to do with the fact that they all were pretenders and social climbers. Besides, I liked pretenders and social climber, I reminded myself, I was one myself.

I was tore back from my thoughts to this world by Jessica Stanley, who came to sit to the couch next to me and smiled me seductively. I smiled back, Jessica was actually really irritating but I needed something to get my mind off of the new girl.

"The party´s a bit boring, don't you think?" Jessica said in a low voice.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking", I answered lowering my voice too.

She smiled at me again. "We could get a room?" she asked winking at me.

"Sure", I said and rose up from the couch, finished my glass and followed Jessica out of the room. When we were in middle of the large living room, the front door opened and Alice stepped in with Bella Swan. Alice smiled at me quickly and rolled her eyes to Jessica; she liked her even less than I did.

I grinned at her and shrugged, even though Jessica was an awful person, she was good in some things and right now that was enough.

I turned my eyes to Bella, who was standing next to Alice, looking little unsure, scared, and so damn hot in Alice's black dress.

She looked at me, and I looked back. There was this weird electricity between us, something I couldn't explain and I didn't quite know if I liked.

She turned her eyes away quickly, like I'd hurt her and Jessica pulled my arm impatiently.

"See you later", I mouthed to Alice and followed Jessica.

Bella's PoV

Though Alice's dress was gorgeous I felt little uncomfortable in it. It was black and a little shorter than I would have liked, but it was still really pretty. And I didn't even want to think how expensive it must have been.

"Hey Lauren", Alice yelled and threw her arm around a blond-haired girl.

"Alice!" Lauren yelled back and hugged Alice too. After a while Alice stepped back and turned to look at me again. "This is Lauren Mallory", she said to me. "And this is Bella Swan, she just moved here."

"Oh Bella, so nice to meat you", Lauren said and threw her arms around me too. I hugged her back little awkwardly; I wasn't used to hugging people I'd just met.

"See you later, hope you enjoy the party", Lauren said and danced away.

"She's really annoying, actually", Alice pointed out. "But her parents are never home, so she always has these parties in the middle of the week."

"Yeah, that's enough reason to be her friend", I said, nodding.

Alice laughed, like I had said something really funny. "Come on. Let's get something to drink", she said and pulled me with her towards the nearest punch bowl.

I couldn't decide if I liked the party or not. The punch was sweet and it made me feel a little dizzy after a while. Chatting with Alice was nice and she introduced me to a couple of people but most of them she apparently loathed, but it was fine. Different though.

After a while, when Alice and I were onto our second punch glasses, Jasper arrived. His blonde hair was messy and he had a motorcycle helmet in his hand. He was wearing the same t-shirt and jeans he had on today at school. When he saw me with Alice he smiled, but I wasn't sure, was that smile for me or Alice? Anyway I smiled back at him and he started to walk towards us.

"Hey", I said to Jasper, when he was standing right in front of us. "Nice to see that you came."

Jasper smiled at me and then turned to look at Alice. "Hi, Alice."

Alice looked at Jasper for a while. "Hi, Jasper."

"Well anyway, I'll go", I said quickly. "More punch." Then I left, leaving them alone.

I filled my glass with some more pink liquid, but after that, I didn't know what to do. So I just found myself a quiet corner, and sat on the couch alone. I looked at those people in front of me and I missed home. The punch made my head feel fluffy, with my thoughts tangled up and it made me feel myself like a different person. I didn't know if I liked that new person.

I was so deeply in my thoughts that I almost jumped, when suddenly Edward seemed to appear out of nowhere and sat beside me.

"Enjoying the party?" he asked with a crooked smile. I kind of liked his smile.

"Yep", I said and raised my glass a bit. I looked around us, but I didn't see Jessica anywhere.

"You aren't used to this kind of life", Edward said. I couldn't tell if it was a question or just a statement. I just nodded.

"Don't worry. You'll learn fast", he said.

"I'm just not sure if I want to" I answered. He looked at me and I stared back at him. I could feel the tension between us, it was something different to anything that I'd ever felt before and I couldn't figure it out. I looked deep into his green eyes, but they weren't telling me anything.

"You're different", he said after I'd turned my eyes away.

"Define different."

He smiled at me, just a little amused. "Well, I gotta go. Enjoy the party", he said, and rose up again.

"See you at school", I said with some hesitation. It sounded too much like question.

"Yeah, see you", he said and then he was gone, just as quickly as he had appeared. I just sat there, puzzled, trying to figure him out. Why he had the power to affect me like that, even when we hardly knew each other.

The first thing I noticed next morning, was that I had a terrible head ache. The second was that I was already late. I got up slowly, put on my clothes and brushed my hair quickly and then went to downstairs, said a quick good morning and goodbye to Sue and drove to the school as fast as I could. So maybe it hadn't been that good of an idea to go out to that party last night, I thought myself. But anyway, I had fun, I think. It was different. And the fact was that if I was going to live here, I might as well try to fit in. If they were going to party in the middle of the week, so was I.

I walked to my locker and picked up my books, when suddenly I heard a voice behind me.

"Hi Bella."

"Oh, hi Jasper", I said after I'd turned around. Jasper was smiling at me and holding his motorcycle helmet in his other hand. I had to admit, that he looked cool with his leather jacket and the helmet, kind of like a bad boy. A bad boy who read _Wuthering Heights _I thought myself.

"So, did you have fun last night?" I asked.

Jasper nodded. "Yeah. And you too? I saw you with Cullen."

I blushed, though I didn't know why. "Yeah", I just answered.

"I think I should warn you", Jasper said with some uncertainty. "That's maybe not such a good idea. I mean, everyone know what he's like."

"Well it's not going to be anything", I said. "We just talked."

Jasper smiled at me. "Okay, good. I just don't want you to get hurt, right after you've moved here. Let's go, we're going to be late for class."

The morning classes passed without anything special. First I had English with Jasper and after that chemistry. In the beginning of the lunch break, when I was walking into the cafeteria, Alice run to me and took my hand.

"Hey Bella! Guess what we're going to do today?" Alice asked happily.

"What?" I asked alerted. I wasn't sure if I was able to take another party this soon.

"We're going to go shopping", Alice said nearly jumping in excitement.

"Are we?" I asked.

Alice nodded. "Yes. I mean, obviously, you need some clothes. You can't just walk around in t-shirt and old jeans every day." Alice raised her eyebrows looking at me up and down. I would have got irritated if someone else would have done that, but it was Alice. I've only known her for like a day, but I knew, that she wasn't being mean with her judging. And if I was going to be her friend, I thought I would just have to get used to that.

"Okay", I said laughing. "Let's go shopping."

"Great! We're going to have so much fun." Alice said gladly and danced into the cafeteria, pulling me with her.

When we got to the same corner table, we were sitting yesterday, Rosalie and Emmett were there already, but I didn't saw Edward anywhere.

"Hi", Alice said, sitting next to Emmett.

"Hi", I said too smiling shyly to Emmett and Rosalie, who were holding each other's hands. I had only seen the two of them for a while yesterday at the party and most of that time they were concentrating on each other.

Alice, Rosalie and Emmett started gossiping about yesterday's party and I mostly just listened to them and tried to understand what they were talking about. As they talked, Alice pointed the people which they were talking to me.

"That's Angela", Alice said, nodding to the table next to us. "She's okay, but since she started to hang out with Jessica Stanley she's got more annoying" I looked at Angela, who was sitting with some guy. She seemed nice.

"And that guy over there is Mike", Alice said.

"Oh, Mike", I said. "I talked to him yesterday." I remembered the puppy-looking guy, who had showed me the principal's office yesterday.

Alice looked at me. "Well don't be friends with him. He's annoying."

I laughed. "Okay."

I spent the rest of the lunch break with Alice, Rosalie and Emmett, but Edward didn't show up. I only saw him later, in the biology class.

"Hello Bella", Edward said smiling his crooked smile and sat next to me.

"Hi", I said turning my eyes away from him. He was wearing black t-shirt and a pair of blue worn out jeans and he looked absolutely gorgeous in them. Not that I cared, I mean.

"Did you have fun yesterday?" Edward asked, as our teacher walked into the classroom.

"Yeah, I did", I said nodding. "It was a good party."

Edward laughed quietly. "Well then, would you like to come to another party tonight?"

I turned to face him, amused. "Do you guys ever do anything else than party?"

"Of course we do", Edward said with another smile. "For example, look at me now. I'm sitting in a classroom, studying."

I rolled my eyes. "No you're not studying", I pointed out in a quiet voice, so that the teacher wouldn't hear us. "You're not even listening what the teacher says."

"Whatever", Edward said. "So are you coming?"

"I can't come today", I said and didn't know why I felt little disappointed. "I need to go shopping with Alice."

Edward laughed. "Oh yeah, I should've guessed that Alice would want to use you as her Barbie doll soon. Well you two have fun."

I made a face. I wasn't too keen on shopping. Edward looked amused. "Well at least try to have fun."

He was about to say something else, but the teacher interrupted us. "Mr. Cullen, I'm sure you're conversation is very interesting, but please, try to pay little attention to me too, if you want to pass your exams."

Edward grinned at me and then turned to look at the teacher. I didn't like the butterflies that magically appeared to my stomach every time Edward smiled at me. They didn't promise anything good. In fact I was pretty sure, it meant problems. So I tried to just focus on the teacher, and ignore Edward, but that wasn't too easy. We didn't talk to each other much during the rest of the class, but sometimes Edward turned flash me his mysterious crooked smile.

I didn't concentrate on the teachers for much of the rest of the day. There were just too many distracting thoughts in my head, but luckily the school day was over soon. I just couldn't keep Edward's teasing smile out of my mind, and I didn't know why. Edward always acted so weirdly around me, like he knew something I had no idea about. Or maybe he acted like that with everybody. Well anyway, that wasn't my problem. Edward didn't mean anything to me, I didn't even know him. I've just met him yesterday. Then why couldn't I stop thinking about him?

I met Alice in the front porch of the school after the last class.

"Ready to go?" Alice yelped excitedly and grabbed my arm.

"Sure", I said laughing. "Are you always so excited about shopping?"

"Of course", Alice said like my question was stupid. "Shopping's fun. Come on, let's go. You can drive your car back to your place and then I can pick you up from there."

"Okay", I said smiling and trying to sound more excited.

Shopping with Alice was… interesting, much different than shopping with my mom back at home. First of all, she had so much more expensive taste in clothing than what I was used to. Second, she actually picked up all the clothes for me and I learn something about Alice pretty fast: she liked thing done her way. She would just drop piles of clothing into my arms and pushed me into a dressing room and then when I twirled around in front of her she either nodded approvingly or shook her head.

And she had a really good taste; she was going to make a fine fashion designer or stylist one day. All the clothes were beautifully luxurious and I think I looked good in them; I just didn't look like me. But what the hell, I thought, if I was going to live here, I'd better get used to it.

So I just bought anything Alice wanted me to buy with my brand new American express.

After couple of hours, when Alice had decided that I had enough new clothes, we were sitting in a small café sipping our light lattes. Alice asked me about my family and Forks and soon I found myself telling her all about my mom and Phil and everything. Talking with Alice was easy, she was a good listener and she made me feel like she understood me, though I was sure that she had never been in a situation like mine in her life.

"But that's unfair", Alice said after I'd finished. "It was your home; it's not fair that you had to leave."

"Well life isn't fair", I said smiling a little, not exactly amused. "But that's okay, really. I think I needed some change in my life anyway."

"True", Alice said. "Life in Forks didn't sound that exciting."

I laughed. "Yeah, it wasn't."

"But don't worry, you're going to be fine here too", Alice said.

And for the first time since I came here, I felt like it might be true. I knew that Alice and I were going to be friends. Jasper was really nice too, and Emmett seemed like fun and even Rosalie, who seemed kind of suspicious about me, seemed alright. And when it came to Edward… I would figure it out. And who knew, maybe I was going to make it here after all.

"Okay, maybe I should take you back to home, it's getting late already", Alice said after a while and I realized that it was much later than I had thought. I had to admit that I had actually had pretty good time shopping with Alice. More than I had expected anyway.

After I got back to my room, I put all the new clothes in my closet and wondered what I was going to do with all of them; they weren't exactly the most practical ones.

Before I was going to sleep my mom called and I hesitated a while before I answered the call.

"Hi mom", I said.

"Hi honey", my mom said. "How are you?"

"I'm fine", I answered automatically.

"Listen, sweetie", she said in a guilty tone. "You should come home. You didn't have to fly to the other side of the country because of this. We can figure this out in some other way. We would be okay, really we would."

"Mom, you don't need to feel guilty", I said, even though she really needed a bit. It's not like I blamed her for this, it was my own decision from the very beginning, but still.

"Bella, all I ever wanted was you to be happy, us to be happy", my mom said desperately.

"I am happy, mom", I said in my most convincing tone. "And you're happy with Phil."

"Yeah, but remember that you can come home any time you want to. We can work this out."

I sighed. "Mom , I'm not coming home. I'm doing fine here. I need this, I need the change."

"Okay", Mom said, giving up for now at least. "Tell me how you're doing there. How are Charlie and Sue? How's the new school?"

"Charlie and Sue are fine", I said. "Their house is really big and fancy, I have really large room and we even have our own swimming pool. The school is also cool; it's much bigger than Forks High."

"Really? And how are the kids? Have you made any new friends?"

"Well I've met some nice people. Today I was shopping with one girl, Alice, she's fun, I'm sure we're going to be friends. And then there's Jasper, he's sitting next to me at English class and he's cool too."

"Jasper?" she asked curiously.

"It's not like that, mom! We're just friends", I said.

"Why?" she said and I could hear the laughter in her voice. "You like him, right? Is he cute?"

"Well yeah, but – "

"Then why not?"

I sighed. It was just so like my mom. She thought that at seventeen, it was about time to find me a boyfriend. "It's just not like that, mom."

"Okay, then. Have you met any other nice boys?"

I was quiet for a while, instantly thinking about Edward. "Well, not really", I said trying to get him out of my mind.

"Really?" mom asked apparently hearing my hesitation.

"No" I said determinedly. "Can we talk about something else than boys?"

I talked with my mom for a while before going to bed and trying to fall asleep without over thinking everything.

The end of my first week in California went by and even though everything was new and strange, I was slowly starting to settle down. At least when I woke up in the morning everything didn't seem that strange anymore, and I was getting use to the heat.

At school I mostly hung out with Alice or Jasper. At lunch I sat with Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward in the corner table. I realized that they were kind of the elite of Huntington Beach High School, they were the cool kids, and everyone looked up to them or showed them some kind of respect. Some of the unpopular kids just snorted when they walked by, showing how ridiculous they thought they were with all their coolness and designer clothes.

And for the fact that I had ended up with the coolest kids in the school – I didn't have any idea how that had happened. I should have been with the unpopular kids, damn, I _was_ the unpopular kid.

On Friday at lunch break, I was sitting in our regular corner table with Alice and Edward. I didn't know were Rosalie and Emmett were and I wasn't sure if I even wanted to know, they were just constantly so in love, it was like they couldn't survive a moment without each other.

"So what are we going to do this weekend?" Alice asked Edward.

"Are you bored?" Edward said rising one of his eyebrows. I couldn't decide if it sounded more like a question or suggestion.

"What you have in mind?" Alice asked smiling.

"A beach party", Edward said. "Tomorrow."

"Who's throwing it?" Alice asked.

"We are", Edward said smiling at her cleverly.

"We're throwing a beach party tomorrow?" Alice asked interested.

Edward nodded. "Yeah, we are."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for reviews amysmith2328 and matthias4ever :)  
Hope you like this next chapter and reviews always make my day ;)**

Chapter 3

Bella's PoV

It was Saturday evening and I felt strangely hovering just completely out of place in this crazy world. I was like a balloon, floating in the sky, just a little too high for anyone to reach, but still clear for everyone to see.

We were at the beach Sue and Charlie had taken me on my first night here. Jasper and I were sitting a little away from the loud crowd, where everyone seemed to be laughing and having good time. It was already late and everyone was getting more or less drunk, except me and Jasper. I had ended up sitting here alone tired of the loud music and drunk people I didn't even know and that's when Jasper had found me and sat beside me, even though I didn't really mind being alone.

"Don't you enjoy the party?" Jasper asked smirking a little.

"No I do", I assured him. "I'm just not used to this."

"Yeah, me neither", Jasper said.

"Then why did you come?" I asked.

Jasper was quiet for a while. "Why did _you_ come?"

"No I'm serious", I said. "You don't even seem to like these people." It was true. Jasper didn't seem to have any interest in Edward and Emmett and their gang, unlike the other guys who tried their best to act cool to get their approval. It was almost ridiculous.

"I don't _not_ like them all", Jasper said.

"So you like someone?" I asked interested.

"Maybe."

I didn't ask anything more. I had the feeling that even if I would have, he wouldn't have answered, not yet anyway.

We sat there, silent, for a while and then Jasper rose up. "You wanna come and get drunk with me, to see if these people make any more sense if we're not sober either", he suggested and I wasn't sure if he was joking or not so I just stood up too and went with him.

It seemed like the party had grown while we were away. Everyone seemed to have a bottle or a glass in their hands and everyone was dancing or laughing or kissing in some distant corner. Someone was throwing up in the middle of everything.

"Charming", Jasper said dryly.

Then all of a sudden Edward seemed to appear out of nowhere like he so often did and suddenly he was standing in front of me, holding a half empty scotch bottle in his hand. The first buttons of his dark blue shirt was open and his bronze hair was messy and even half-drunk he managed to look stunning. I hated the effect his presence had in my body. Why he always had my stupid heart pounding a little faster simply by looking at me. That if anything was ridiculous.

"Hi darling."

I raised one of my eyebrows. Since when did he call me darling?

"Is it really that much fun? Drinking your head off and then throwing up in the middle of the dance floor?" I asked pointing to the guy who had now passed out.

"You've never tried it?" Edward asked curious.

"Not really."

"Then maybe you should", he suggested.

"Or maybe not."

"Why not?" he asked, now looking at me seriously. "Would it be so horrible. For once not think so reasonable and loosen up a bit. Come on, don't be boring."

"So you think I'm boring?" I asked annoyed, "for being the one of us who doesn't act like an idiot."

"So you think I'm an idiot?" Edward asked, not looking annoyed at all. Only amused, and slightly interested. And it made me even more irritated, like I didn't have any effect on him at all.

"Yeah", I said, "for thinking that the only way to have a good time is drinking."

"I don't think that's the only way to have a good time", Edward said winking at me.

I just snorted, ignoring his suggestive comment.

"I take it's a negative answer", Edward said more to himself, "too bad."

"I didn't take it as a question", I said.

Edward didn't say anything for a while, until someone changed the song to a slower one.

"You wanna dance?" he asked smiling at me politely. I wasn't stupid enough to trust his smile as friendly as it was.

"No."

"Good", Edward said, tossed his bottle to Emmett who was walking past and took my hand leading me to the dance floor.

"I said I didn't want to dance", I pointed out sharply, trying my best to ignore my hand in his warm palm.

"Oh, I'm sorry", he said mischievously grinning. "I thought you said that you wanted to."

I tried to say something clever to get him to let go of me, but he had already wrapped his arms around my waist and was spinning me slowly around. He was pulling me against his chest and suddenly I forgot what I was about to say.

He smelled like scotch and soap and something else. I could feel his muscular chest through his thin shirt and I could hear his heavy breathing against my ear. I was sure he could feel my heart bouncing in my chest and it made me blush a little.

"This isn't so bad after all, is it?" he whispered in ear.

No, no it wasn't. It wasn't at all that bad. But there was no way I was going to admit it to him.

I knew it was dangerous. Dancing with that guy at Saturday night and feeling a little bit drunk myself, even though I hadn't drunk anything.

So I wasn't sure was I glad or not, when suddenly Alice pulled me away from Edward. "Hi Bella, there you are, I've been looking for you for ages", she screamed joyfully.

"Hi Alice", Edward said, looking more than a little annoyed.

"Hi Eddie", Alice said pretending she didn't notice that she had interrupted something.

"And don't call me Eddie", Edward said.

"Why not, Eddie?" Alice asked like a sulking child.

"She only calls me Eddie when she wants to annoy me", Edward told me.

"I do not", Alice giggled.

"Well anyway, see you later, Bella", Edward said and walked away leaving me alone with Alice in the middle of music and people.

"So are you having fun?" Alice asked pretending that she hadn't just dragged me away from Edward on purpose.

"Yeah, sure, it's a good party", I said.

"Of course it is, it's my party", Alice said winking at me. I smiled back at her, still thinking about Edward's hands around me.

"Well anyway, come on. Let's find Emmett and Rosalie."

Around 3 a.m. the party had broken up and people had left all heading in different destinations, leaving only couple of drunken people hanging out in the beach. I drove Alice to her home with her yellow Porsche. She had picked me up earlier that evening, but she wasn't in any condition for driving anymore. I had never driven such an expensive car before, so it was kind of scary, but luckily Alice didn't live far away from the beach, so I managed to see that she got home all right.

"You know that Jasper guy is kinda cute", Alice giggled sleepily when I pulled up in their front yard.

"Sure and you're kinda drunk", I replied.

"Am I?" Alice asked finding something endlessly amusing in my words.

"Yeah, you are", I said.

"Now get inside and go to sleep."

"Okay", Alice giggled. "Good night."

After I'd seen that Alice go inside, I drove to my house. After all, the party had been quite fun. I had hung out with Alice and Jasper, even Emmett and Rosalie for a while. And danced with Edward of course… So, I think I had quite a pleasant time, but still I was glad to finally get home.

When I got inside Sue was still awake sipping a glass of wine and reading some fashion magazine in the living room.

"Hi", I said stepping inside of the room. "Where's Charlie?"

"Oh, you came home already", Sue said smiling at me. I wondered what she was doing awake at this time of the night. "He went to sleep already. Though he would have wanted to wait 'till you got home safe, but I told him that he needed to chill out, you'd be all right."

"Yeah", I said. Actually I was surprised, that since I moved here, he had let me do everything that I'd wanted. Before he wouldn't have allowed me to be out all night, he had changed so much. And I had a hunch that Sue had more than a little to do with it.

"I mean you're a teenage girl", Sue went on; "he can't keep guarding you like you were five. This is important time in your life; you need to have fun, experience new things."

I didn't think that Charlie was guarding me like I was five. But I guess that in this world he was. And when it came to experiencing; coming home after 3 am from a beach party was surely something new to me. And so was dancing with Edward. Something I would quite gladly experience again.

"You're probably right", I said to Sue absent-mindedly. "But now I'm going to sleep. See you in the morning."

"Sleep well, sweetie", Sue said and turned the page of her magazine.

I fell asleep the second I finally got to my bed and the next time I opened my eyes the sun was already shining brightly.

"Uh", I groaned closing my eyes from the too-bright sunlight, which penetrated through my eyelids. After a while, when my eyes had got more used to the sun, I slowly opened them again. I reached for my cell to see what time it was. 11.30. I couldn't remember last time I had slept so long.

I rose up to sit on the edge of my bed. After a while I stood up and looked at my closet which was filled with the new clothes Alice had picked me. I ignored all the new expensive clothes and picked up my old jeans and a green t-shirt.

I brushed up my teeth and pulled a hairbrush through my hair a few times before bonding it up in a ponytail. Then I went downstairs. The house seemed quiet and empty. In the kitchen I found a note :

_Morning Bella! Your father and I went to do some shopping and after that we have a charity lunch. Get yourself something to eat. Have nice day! _

_Sue_

_P.S. The housekeeper comes at 1p.m., don't mind her. _

I stared at the note surprised. They had a housekeeper? I didn't even know they had a housekeeper. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though, Sue didn't exactly seem the type of wife to get on her knees and scrub the floors.

Anyway, the emptiness of the house was nice. It was good to be alone for a while, I didn't feel very sociable right now.

I opened the fridge to get myself some breakfast, when I heard my phone ringing upstairs. I sighed and hurried to pick it up.

"Hello?" I answered walking back to kitchen.

"Hi Bella", I heard Alice's voice in my ear.

"Oh hi, Alice", I said and opened the kitchen cabinet again to get myself something to eat. I was pretty hungry already. "How are you?"

"I've been better", Alice said sounding a little nauseous.

"Well, at least you had fun yesterday, didn't you?" I tried to cheer her up.

"Did I?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, you did", I assured her, remembering, how giggly and cheery she had been last night.

"Okay good", Alice said. "But Bella, listen, can I drop by later today. I could pick up my car at the same time?"

"Yeah, sure", I said pouring some cereal in a bowl and tried to find a spoon somewhere. "Charlie and Sue are out, so come whenever you want to."

Okay, see you later then", Alice said. "Gosh, I have to get some painkillers. Bye."

"Bye", I smiled hanging up.

After I had finished my breakfast I picked up a book and went to the back yard in one of the chairs besides the swimming pool. Since I came here, I hadn't had much time for reading. It felt like before I was doing it all the time. It also felt like it was ages since _before_. Even thought I had been here just for only a week.

I tried to concentrate on the pages I was reading, but soon my eyelids started to drop close. I didn't remember it, but apparently I had fallen asleep, because the next thing I noticed was Alice shaking me awake.

"Oh", I said opening my eyes puzzled. "Alice? Sorry, I must have fallen asleep."

"Yeah, I can see that", Alice said rolling her eyes and sitting on the edge of my chair. "That's okay."

I put the book that was lying on my stomach on the ground and rose up to more sitting position when suddenly Alice threw me an offended look.

"Bella!" Alice said disapproving. "What the heck are you wearing? You have a closet full of new, pretty, expensive clothes and you're wearing and old jeans and a tee!"

"I'm sorry but I wasn't even going anywhere", I said trying to keep my face serious looking at Alice's shocked expression. She was the only one I knew who could get so upset about clothes.

"But that's not the point, Bella! Make sure you'll never do this to me again", Alice said.

"Yeah, well anyway, how did you get here?" I changed the subject, remembering, that her car was still in our front yard.

"Oh, Edward brought me", Alice said calming down again.

"He left already?" I asked, feeling a little disappointed, though I didn't have any reason for that. I didn't even want to see Edward; I didn't like him, I reminded myself.

"What's with you and Edward, anyway?" Alice asked me frowning. "I saw you dancing yesterday."

"Yeah, we both noticed that you saw us", I said wryly, remembering how she had pulled me away from Edward the minute she saw us together.

"You said that you weren't going to fall in love with him", Alice reminded me.

"And I'm not going to!" I said and it was true. I wasn't going to fall in love with him, because even I could see that it wouldn't be anything else than a disaster. A guy like Edward and a girl like me… We were just so different, we wanted different things from life.

"It's just that Edward would break your heart", Alice explained once again. "Because that's what always happens. I love Edward, I really do. We've known each other pretty much our whole lives and he's much like a brother to me, but he can be such an asshole."

I sneered at her description, which I guess was true.

"I mean, yesterday he left from the party with Lauren, and I don't have any doubt where they went. And last week he was with Jessica, who still thinks Edward actually likes her", Alice said. "He's not mean, or anything. Sometimes he just doesn't get it."

"He left with Lauren Mallory yesterday?" I said trying to sound only slightly interested.

"Yeah", Alice said laughing. "But honestly, that's probably because of all that scotch, I mean come on, Lauren _Mallory_."

"Yeah", I said without laughing, "That's funny."

"Well anyway, let's talk about something else", Alice said walking to the swimming pool and after kicking her flip-flops off immersed her feet in the water. "Did you have fun at the party?"

"Yeah, I did actually", I said.

"You sound surprised?" Alice said splashing the water.

"I don't usually have fun at parties. I don't usually do parties in fact", I said. "But you at least seemed to have fun. You talked something about Jasper being cute", I reminded her flashing her a teasing smile.

"That's because I was drunk", Alice said blushing. It kind of surprised me. Alice didn't seem to be the kind of girl who blushed easily.

"Well I think he likes you", I said. I'd been thinking it some time. Jasper acted kind of weird around Alice anyway.

"No he doesn't", Alice said laughing.

I didn't argue with her. She would find it out on her own. Then we were both quiet. I closed my eyes and felt the sun on my face. Maybe I could get used to it. Actually I think I already had a bit. Alice kept splashing the water with her feet and it made a comforting sound.

"Alice?" I said keeping my eyes shut.

"Yes?"

"Why did you become friends with me?" I asked. It was something I had wondered for a while. "I mean, you're the rich and cool people and I'm neither of those things. So why did you decide to hang out with me?"

"Bella", Alice said turning to look at me. "We may be rich, shallow and arrogant, but we don't choose our friends like that. We don't hang out with the 'coolest' guys just because we want to fit in. If we would, we would spend all our time with Jessica, Lauren and Mike, but we're not like that. I'm not like that. I spent my time with people I care and like. Even if they dress as unfashionably as you."

I smiled at her. "I don't think you're shallow or arrogant."

"Thanks Bella", Alice said cheerfully. "So what do you want to do today?"

"Um... Homework?" I suggested. I think it was time to do something for school for a change.

"Haha, that's a good one", Alice laughed.

"I was serious. You may all be natural talents and learn everything without even opening the books, but I have to study, if I'm going to pass high school", I explained to Alice like she was a little child.

"Fine, you can do that some other time", Alice said. "Don't be boring."

Edward's PoV

When I woke up the familiar headache and nausea was the first thing I felt. Great. I was surely going to throw up soon, but I didn't have any idea in which direction the toilet was. And the light was hurting my eyes even with my eyelids closed, so there was no way I was going to open them. So I just groaned and tried to swallow the sickness, after all I was pretty much used to this.

After a while, I decided, that I had to open up my eyes. I mean, I couldn't just lay there, eyes closed the whole day. Even thought I had the feeling that most of the day was already gone. I opened my left eye slightly and then slowly opened the other eye too.

And realized I didn't have any idea where I was.

It all started to kind of get back to me, when I saw Lauren Mallory stepping into the room, wearing only a small towel that hardly covered all the critical places, her hair still wet from shower. Really? I asked myself. Lauren Mallory? How much had I drunk last night?

I had the feeling that I had screwed up somehow and it was odd. After all I hadn't done anything but drunk my head off and found myself next morning in Lauren Mallory's place.

I still didn't remember much about last night. There was one thing though, that I remembered clearly. Dancing with Bella. It was funny, how that was the only part of the evening that was clear to me, it didn't make any sense.

Lauren sat on the edge of the bed, so close to me; that I could smell the soap from her wet skin.

"Morning", Lauren said bending closer to me. "I had fun last night", she whispered in my ear and then placed her lips gently against my throat.

I rolled away from her to the other side of the bed. "Well that's nice", I said picking up my clothes from the floor. "I'm sure I had a good time too if I could just remembered any of it."

I got dressed quickly trying to ignore the excruciating headache.

"You're leaving already?" Lauren said biting her lower lip disappointed. She made a pretty picture, I had to admit. Looking all innocent and fresh, but it didn't affect me.

I had always thought that Lauren Mallory was kind of annoying; now that I had accidentally slept with her I was relieved to notice that it hadn't changed anything.

"So I guess I see you around then", I said heading to the door.

"Really?" Lauren said starting to look a bit annoyed herself. "That's it? See you around?"

"Yeah", I said frowning. "What did you expect?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it and then opened it again, clearly not knowing what to say. "We had sex together", she finally said.

"Yeah I guessed that much", I pointed out.

She just stared at me so I continued. "Honestly Lauren? It was one night, we had fun, that's it. You expected me to get on one knee and express my never-dying love to you or something like that?" I said chuckling. I didn't want to hurt her but now she was just being silly and emotional.

"No", she said a little angry, "Of course not. But something more than 'see you around'. Asking me out for example?"

"You know me Lauren", I said flashing her my most charming smile. "I'm not really like that."

"Yeah I guess not", she said, now sounding mostly just hurt. "So see you around then."

"Bye", I said silently and left.

When I got out of the house to the fresh air I felt myself kind of melancholic and didn't know exactly why. Yesterday jumping into bed with Lauren Mallory had felt much better idea that it felt now. But after all it didn't even matter. I had probably slept with half of Huntington Beach High School's female students, like Alice so nicely put it every time she was annoyed with me and wanted to show me what an asshole I was, so it wasn't a big thing. Actually I wasn't even thinking of her anymore. I was thinking of someone entirely different.

Bella Swan.

I probably felt interested about her just because she didn't seem to be interested about me at all. That was just like me. But whatever I felt for her, I would figure it all out. After all it wasn't a big thing. It wasn't.

I took my cell out of my pocket and dialed the number by heart, not even thinking about it. It took two rings before he answered.

"Hi Em, where are you?" I asked.

"Uh, just woke up", Emmett said in a rough voice. "How about you?"

"I'm just outside Lauren Mallory's house. Can you pick me up?" I asked.

"Sure. Be there in a minute", Emmett said and hung up. I sat in the sidewalk waiting for him. I really hoped that when he came he had something for the headache.

I didn't have to wait long. Emmett pulled his car up in front of me and hopped out handing me a half empty bottle.

"For the headache", he said grinning at me.

"Honestly, can you read my thoughts?" I asked taking a little gulp from the bottle. I had thought about something like painkillers but this was fine as well.

"Of course", Emmett said getting back to his car. I hopped on the passenger seat and took another small gulp from the bottle. I felt a bit better already.

"Where am I driving?" Emmett asked.

"Wherever", I sighed. "Just drive."

And so we drove. Not really paying any attention where we were going. I turned the radio on. Neither of us felt like talking, so mostly we were just quiet, I drank from the bottle a couple of more times, until I'd gotten rid of the melancholic feeling and the horrible headache.

After all, it certainly wasn't the worst way to spend a Sunday afternoon, on the passenger seat of your best friend's car, not worrying about the past and not thinking about the future because the present was just fine.

Bella's PoV

Monday at lunch break everyone was kind of silent, but it was not a surprise, it was Monday after all. Alice was reading the newest Vogue, Emmett and Rosalie were whispering into each other's ears looking almost too in love and Edward was poking his food with his fork deeply in his thoughts.

The lunch break was already ending, so we took our trays away and left for our next classes.

I and Edward had biology.

"Come on, we're almost late", I said to him when we got to the lobby.

"I don't think I'm coming", Edward said.

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"You know, it's good to skip a class every once in a while", he said to me smiling his crooked smile that still made my heart beat faster. Actually it was kind of irritating. Why my stupid heart had to be so stubborn. It just didn't seem to get it, that even if Edward was breathtakingly handsome when he smiled, I did not like him.

"Really? Not if you want to pass high school", I said.

"But yes if you want to stay sane. Too much work is not good for anyone", Edward said in a slightly amused tone, like he was mocking me. He always spoke to me like that, it was really infuriating.

"When have I ever seen you do any work?" I pointed out.

"Oh come on, don't be so boring", Edward said. "Come with me."

"No", I said. "I have to go to the class."

"No you don't actually", Edward said. "I'll show you something."

"Show me what?" I asked suspicious now.

He smiled a little and I found it harder and harder to refuse him. "Come and you'll see."

"Now you're only trying to trick me to ditch with you", I pointed out.

He winked at me. "So what if I am?"

"That's unfair."

"Why? Because I know that you'll agree?" Edward asked holding out his hand for me.

I sighed and grabbed his hand. "Yeah."

Edward flashed me a very smug smiled and pulled me with him towards the front door.

"So where are you taking me?" I asked when we were outside.

"You'll find out soon", Edward said. "Trust me."

That was the problem, I thought myself. I shouldn't.

**A/N: please leave a review and tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks, matthias4ever, love your reviews! :)  
****Hope you like this next chapter and please review, cause reviews always makes me happy :D**

Chapter 4

Edward led me behind the school building where there was a small cliff with only few trees. We climbed to the top of it in a comfortable silence. Edward sat on the other side of the cliff and I sat behind him. Even though the cliff wasn't that high you could see far out and we were so close to the sea that we could see it, shimmering away in the sunshine, it was a beautiful view. Still it wasn't just the view that amazed me either, it was also the atmosphere. It was quiet and calm. It felt like you were alone, and yet you still knew that further behind you the classes were beginning and you were supposed to be in one of them, but you weren't. It was a funny feeling. I looked at Edward who was still staring into the ocean in front of him.

"We used to come here, when we were younger", Edward told me. "Alice, Emmett and I. We still do it sometimes, when we need a break, and don't feel like going to class."

"Like now", I said.

"Yeah", Edward smiled. "Like now."

I smiled a little at him. I could feel that this place meant something to him. "It's a beautiful place."

Edward just nodded. "Why did you move here?" he asked suddenly.

I was quiet for a while, trying to decide what to say. "It's complicated."

"Tell me", Edward said turning to look at me. At the same time I turned to look at him and accidentally looked him in the eyes and for a while I just froze there, looking at his green eyes that seemed different someway. This time they were not full of laughter or amusement. They were kind of serious-looking, like he really wanted to know.

"My mom remarried", I said turning my eyes slowly away.

"And you don't like the new husband?" Edward asked.

"Yeah."

"Well that didn't sound so complicated", Edward pointed out.

I shrugged. "It was the simple version", I said. He made it all sound so simple and easy.

"So tell me something", Edward said.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Why are you so afraid of falling in love?"

"_What_?" I said completely taken aback by his question. "I am not –"

"Yes, you are", Edward said. "It seems like you're on your toes all the time. You're afraid to drink, you're afraid to ditch. You are far too keen on playing by all the rules."

I just stared ahead not quite knowing, if I should be offended. His description about me was so wrong. I wasn't like that. At all. "And then again, you couldn't care less about the rules. Is it any better?" I asked.

"Life's too short for rules", Edward said grinning at me his mischievous crooked smile.

"Anyway", I said. "I think you're the one who's afraid of falling in love."

"And how did you arrive to that conclusion?" Edward asked, and didn't seem bothered about my question.

"Well because you're the one whose sleeping with half of the Huntington Beach's population instead of just picking one girl you truly like." I stated.

"I see you've heard of my reputation", Edward said, sounding still cheerful and not offended. "From Alice I assume?"

I nodded.

"Well you shouldn't believe everything she says", Edward said, looking away.

"And why would you care if I believe her or not?" I said turning to look at him.

He turned to face me, and suddenly his expression was serious again. "What if I do?" Before I knew it, our faces were closer to each other. He was leaning even closer to me, his eyes locked on me. For a moment I was sure he was going to kiss me, but then he turned his face away again.

After that he didn't say anything. The soft wind ruffled my hair gently and I felt a sudden and unexpected peaceness, like everything was okay, even though the last time I checked, everything was not okay.

"Maybe you should try it", Edward said. "Living in the present, not making such clever choices all the time, instead just _living_."

I nodded. I understood that he didn't say it to offend me; he was just offering me his point of view. "Maybe I will. And maybe you should try letting go of the selfish bastard role and showing people who you really are."

"Maybe I will", Edward said and turned to look at me.

I realized that in that moment we shared something special, even if I didn't quite know what it was. It had something to do with understanding the other one and realizing that maybe we're not that different after all.

Or maybe it was just the strange atmosphere of the place that held so many memories, which were not mine and them ditching together. Either way I did not care. I think I realized what he meant with the living in the moment or whatever.

"We should get back to the school, the class's already ending", Edward said quietly and stood up.

I felt a little disappointed that the class was already over. I stood up and tried to hide my reluctance to go back to school, but he must've sensed it.

"We can come back here some other time", he said.

"Yeah, if we want to get expelled for ditching", I said, even thought in my mind I had already decided that we would come back here some time and he could tell me about all the times he'd came here with Emmett and Alice.

We walked back to the school and got to the lobby right in time, when all the students came from their various classes. Almost immediately after we'd stepped into the lobby, Jessica Stanley came running to us and wrapped both her arms around Edward and kissed him right on the mouth.

"There you are baby, I missed you so much. We haven't seen each other all day", Jessica said in a cuddly voice. Then she turned to look at me. "Oh hi Bella", she said in a more than a little suspicious voice.

"Hi Jessica", I said, as she turned back to Edward completely ignoring me. "Well anyway, I need to get to my next class so see you guys later."

"Wait, Bella", Edward said looking a little uneasy. "We both have classes in the second floor, I'll come with you."

"No, it's okay, just stay with your… _girlfriend_. See you later", I said and flashed him a kind smile to say that it was all fine with me because I wasn't interested about him at all anyway and then I left, leaving him with a desperate-looking Jessica.

Edward's PoV

I didn't know why exactly I had decided to take her to the cliff. I liked to make myself believe, that I had just needed some company, but it was possible that I had also wanted to get to know her better and spent some time with her. Either way I didn't want to think about that it too deeply. After all I wasn't so much into thinking; I just did what I felt like doing and let others do the thinking.

And it was a kind of interesting experience. She fascinated me, she was so different. The way looked the world; it was something so fresh and real. She didn't seem to care about money and designer clothes and stuff like that. And after all I didn't care about that either. How could you care about something you have had your whole life as much as you've wanted?

And of course there was the fact that she was beautiful. In a totally unaware, smoking hot way.

It had all gone quite well until we got back to the school and bumped into Jessica. I could see the expression in her face that she tried so hard to hide. After I think I almost made her believe that I wasn't the kind of player everyone thought I was, until Jessica came and ruined it all. She was really getting on my nerves.

After Bella had disappeared to the second floor I was just trying to get rid of Jessica when I heard a sharp voice behind us. "Edward."

I didn't have to turn around to see who the voice belonged to. It was Alice's now-you're-in-trouble voice.

"Do you have a minute?" Alice asked me while flashing a polite smile to Jessica.

"No he really doesn't, we were just – "Jessica giggled, until Alice cut her off.

"Great", she said dryly and dragged me behind her, leaving Jessica staring behind us sourly.

"Thank you for saving me. She was getting on my nerves", I said smiling at Alice.

She obviously didn't think it was amusing.

"What do you think you're _doing_?" Alice asked angrily.

"Right now I'm not doing anything. Or anyone, for the matter." I grinned.

"Not funny", Alice pointed out.

"Okay, tell me, what the matter is then", I sighed.

"Fine, I'll tell you when you're obviously so dumb that you don't know. I saw what happened with Bella and Jessica. And that's the matter. You can't just keep playing girls like they were a game."

"But I'm not!" I said. "And nothing happened with Jessica and Bella. Okay, fine, maybe Jessica misunderstood my signals, but that's nothing."

"Yeah, maybe she did", Alice said sarcastically. "Like Lauren Mallory who cried the whole lunch break because you screwed her when she was too drunk to notice it, then didn't even bother to ask her out."

What?" I gasped horrified. "It wasn't like that. She wasn't some kind of poor, innocent girl that I just used when she was too wasted to notice."

"I know that Edward, but that's not the point", Alice said.

"Then what is the point?" I asked irritated. Why she always had to stick her nose to everyone else's business. To _my_ business.

Instead of answering to my questions she asked a new one: "Where were you the last hour?"

"At the cliff."

"Alone?"

"No."

"With Bella?"

"Yes."

Alice looked at me disapprovingly. "Edward, can you at least not mess with her?"

"Alice, it's not like that. I'm just trying to be friends with her", I said.

"Just friends?" Alice said rising her eyebrows.

"Yeah", I nodded. "Just friends."

"Okay", Alice nodded and after giving me a long look, walked away.

I didn't often lie to Alice, but this time I hadn't exactly told the truth. The truth being, that I wanted Bella Swan. And not exactly in a 'just friends' -way.

Bella's PoV

After the last class we were sitting with Rosalie and Alice in a small smoothie bar near our school. The bar was filled with students but we had managed to get a privet lodge in one corner.

I was sipping my mango-melon smoothie, listening to Alice and Rosalie who were telling me all the new gossip about people I didn't even know.

"And there's a rumor that Eric Yorkie is cheating on Angela. Everyone was talking about it last week", Rosalie told me.

"If everyone was talking about it, how come Angela doesn't know?" I asked.

Rosalie shrugged. "Maybe no one told her?"

"Well wouldn't it be nice to tell her about it. I mean if my boyfriend would be cheating on me I would want to know." I said.

"According to the big fight they had today in the middle of the cafeteria at the end of the lunch break, I think she knows", Alice pointed out.

Rosalie took a sip from her ice latte and tossed her perfect blonde hair away from her face.

"Anyway, how about you Bella? Anyone interesting caught your eyes yet?"

"Well, she has been spending quite a lot of time with Jasper Hale," Alice said winking her eye at Rosalie.

"Really?" Rosalie said interested. "He's a little weird but he's kind of cute."

"And he drives a motorbike", Alice added with a girlie giggle.

"Don't get too excited", I said. "We're just friends."

"That's what they all say", Rosalie chuckled to Alice.

"And I think he likes someone else," I said.

"Really?" Rosalie said, interested. "Who?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Fine then. How about anyone else then?" Rosalie said.

"I don't know", I said. "I don't really do that."

"Do what?" Alice asked.

"The dating stuff."

"_What_?" Rosalie gasped like I had just spoken some different language. "How can you not do that?"

"I don't know. I'm just not relationship kind of person. They're so messy and complicated", I said.

Rosalie looked at me like I had lost my mind. "But that's the point! That's why they're so much fun. Take me and Emmett for example, we're fighting all the time, but still we have so much fun together."

I smiled. "Yeah, sure, I just don't think that's for me."

Rosalie nodded seriously, as if to say she understood. "Don't worry. You'll find your perfect man and fall in love. Alice and I will help you, right Alice?"

"Sure!" Alice said. "Alice the matchmaker at your service."

Alice and Rosalie giggled and high fived while I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry, Alice the matchmaker, but I won't be requiring you're services any time soon."

"We'll see about that", Alice said with another giggle.

Not answering, I just rolled my eyes again and ignored her.

We spent some time chitchatting about clothes and stuff like that, stuff that I didn't usually talk about. Alice was horrified about my complete lack of fashion knowledge, and tried her best to inform me about all the latest trends and new hot fashion names, but mostly I just forgot everything about her fashion lecture.

But after all I still had fun. It was odd how we seemed to be so different but yet I had good time with them.

It was already late that evening, when I finally got alone in my room. I changed my black leggings and the light pink extremely short dress thingy into my old pajama pants and a white t-shirt. After that I tried to concentrate on homework for a while. My homework had already begun to pile up so it was time for me to do some work for a change.

I put on the new CD, which I had gotten from Phil last Christmas and which I kind of liked even though I would never admit it to him and started to write the essay for my English class.

It was nice, concentrating on some school thing for a while. It was kind of familiar and comforting, about the only thing that hadn't changed since I moved here, homework.

I was so concentrated on the essay I was writing that it took me a while to notice the weird tapping noise that seemed to come from my window. I rose up from my bed where I had been sitting and walked to the window and looked outside.

My mouth snapped open and for a while I thought that I was hallucinating. Because why on earth would I have found Edward Cullen tossing pebbles at my window at 8 P.M. in the evening.

I opened the window. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Coming in", Edward answered, grinning at my stunned expression.

And before I had time to understand what was going on, Edward was climbing the tree that was right outside my window. He swung himself inside from my window and suddenly he was standing in front of me.

Okay? Edward Cullen had just climbed in from my window? Was I dreaming?

"Hi", Edward said smiling at me.

"What the heck are you doing?" I asked again.

Edward shrugged. "Well I was bored. So I thought I'd just drop by for a visit", Edward explained like it was the most normal thing to do.

"Huh? You were bored?" I asked weakly.

"Yeah", Edward said amused.

"You do realize that it's not normal to just climb into someone's bedroom every time you get a little bored?" I said raising other one of my eyebrows.

He smiled making my knees feel a little week. He had a kind of gorgeous smile, I had to admit. "I'm not really that much into being normal", Edward said. He looked around in my room and I was embarrassingly aware of the pile of dirty laundry that I've thrown on my chair and my messy bed.

And lastly he turned his eyes on me and my shabby clothes. I felt my checks blushing when his eyes met my eyes. He caught me in a long stare that was kind of estimating, curious.

He was the first one to turn his eyes away.

"So what were you doing before I came?" Edward asked, his voice a little husky.

"Just writing one essay", I said, trying to get rid of the warm feeling I had in my stomach, whenever he looked at me. "For English class."

"Interesting", Edward said nodding and sat on the edge of my bed. I had still hard time realizing that Edward Cullen was suddenly in my room, sitting on my bed. "Homework."

"Yeah, you know, you might be above that, but some of us still have to do school work."

"You think too much about school", Edward said.

"No I don't", I said, even though I knew that he wasn't entirely wrong. Thinking about school distracted other thoughts from my mind, thoughts that weren't supposed to be there.

"Yes, you are." Edward repeated.

"Do you have some obsession about always needing to win arguments?" I asked.

"Come on, why you always have to be so mean to me, it's really hurting my feelings", Edward said sniffling loudly and turning his lips downwards.

I just had to laugh at his supposedly sad expression. "Okay Mr. Melodramatic, I got the message, you can stop now." I said sitting on the bed next to him, not really that annoyed anymore.

Edward smiled. This time it seemed like a normal friendly smile, not his mysterious, teasing smile, that kind of frustrated me, even thought I wouldn't really admit it to myself. "You know, since I'm here, I could help you with your essay", Edward suggested innocently.

I laughed. "Come on, you don't really want to do that."

"No I don't", Edward said turning his face serious again. "I'm actually allergic to homework. It might kill me if I get too close to it."

I nodded. "Yeah, sure it might."

"Sure", Edward said. "But seriously, since we can't do homework, what do you want to do."

"How come you're so sure that I won't throw you out?" I asked.

Edward winked at me. "Girls never throw me out."

"What if I'm an exception?" I asked.

Edward nodded looking at me. "You might well be."

Later that evening, after Edward had climbed out of the window I sat on my bed feeling possibly more confused than ever in my life. After all, Edward had spent quite some time in my room. We were just talking. He was asking me questions about my life in Forks and telling me about his family. It was nice. But also weird, I guess.

I'd found out something that I didn't have any idea about before. That actually I might like Edward. At least Edward, when he was being just Edward, not that arrogant, ladies man Edward he let everyone think he was. I think he might actually be much nicer than he lets everyone believe. When he was just sitting on my bed talking about ordinary stuff he was actually pretty nice.

That's what was confusing me. I liked him. But I did not _like_ him.

And that was the problem.

I couldn't explain the reaction my body had to him. It was like every one of my cells was particularly aware of his presence. And it just didn't make sense. It just didn't.

I hit my head against my pillow and closed my eyes. Instead, I would try to get some rest and think about all this later.

I was sitting beside Jasper in the English class and I had some serious concentration problems. My eyelids didn't seem to manage to keep themselves open, which might be due to my last night's lack of sleep. But how could I have slept after Edward's visit? Obviously I had to spend half of the night twisting and turning in my bed, thinking about the confusing evening and the other half hitting my head against the pillow and telling myself to forget it.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jasper whispered in my ear.

"What?" I flinched, realizing that I had almost fallen asleep. "Yeah, I am. I'm just a little… tired."

Jasper smiled. "Yeah, I can see that. Didn't get much sleep last night?"

I nodded. "Yep, you could say that?"

"Any particular reason why?" Jasper asked.

I shrugged. "I guess it just still so weird, living in this new place and all." I said. I didn't want anyone to know about what was really bothering my thoughts, at least not yet, when my thoughts were confusing myself so much.

"Yeah, I guess it's tough. All the new people, places and everything", Jasper nodded.

"Guess it is", I said quietly and then shut up after I noticed the nasty looks the teacher was throwing at us.

The teacher was talking something about romantic literature through the ages. Next we were going to read Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. I'd already read it of course, so I didn't bother to listen what he was saying about the subject. Instead I spent the rest of the class trying to stay awake by playing hangman with Jasper on the corner of my notebook until it was time to go.

I didn't see Edward during the whole lunch break. I'd like to think that I didn't spend much time thinking about it during the whole break, but that wouldn't be exactly true. Because I was wondering where he was.

Maybe he was with Jessica somewhere, after the scene I had seen yesterday when we'd returned from the cliff, it wouldn't surprise me much. It wouldn't even disappoint me, because I couldn't expect anything else.

So I was standing alone in front of the biology class, waiting for the class to start, when Mike Newton walked around of the corner.

"Hi Bella", Mike said smiling at me.

"Hi Mike", I said smiling back at him, wondering why he was talking to me.

"So, how do you like the new school?" Mike asked perkily.

"It's fine," I said nodding. "Everyone's been very welcoming."

"Great," Mike said slapping his hands together.

"Yeah," I nodded after a short queasy silence.

Mike smiled at me again and hesitated for a while. "So… I was wondering if maybe you would like to do go out with me sometime. For a movie or coffee or something like that maybe?"

"Oh", I said taken aback by his question. I surely hadn't seen this one coming. "Oh."

"Yeah," Mike said awkwardly, waiting for my answer.

"Yeah," I repeated, trying to think something to say. "I – "

"Hi Bella", I heard a voice behind me, I turned around quickly and saw Edward walking towards us. "Newton." Edward nodded at Mike quite tensely.

"Cullen", Mike said giving Edward a long, not so friendly look. Edward looked back at Mike, with a strange expression in his face. I didn't quite know what was between the two of them, but for some reason they didn't seem to exactly like each other.

"See you later, Bella", Mike said and then turned around and walked away quickly, leaving me alone with Edward.

Then our teacher opened the door to the class and we walked to our seats without looking at each other.

After everyone had sat down the teacher switched on the TV in the corner of the classroom.

"Okay kids, it's a documentary day today. This one's about the newest achievements in genetics. I expect every one of you taking notes."

Edward rolled his eyes. "As if."

I sighed, took my notebook and a pen from my bag and wrote the name of the documentary as a headline when it started.

I started to write all the important facts up but after a while I happened to glance at Edward's direction. It didn't surprise me that he wasn't taking notes. What did surprise me was that instead of watching the documentary he was watching me with a mild smile on his face.

"What?" I whispered.

"Nothing", Edward whispered softly in a little husky voice.

"Why were you looking at me like that?" I asked.

"Like what?" Edward asked innocently.

"Never mind." I sighed.

Edward smiled. "Are you irritated about me?" Edward he asked teasingly.

I didn't know what to say. The answer would be yes, apparently. Of course I was irritated, about all the confusion and mixed up thoughts he put into my head, but I could hardly say that to him.

So instead I just mumbled. "You're not letting me concentrate on the documentary."

"Concentrating is overrated", Edward said.

I rolled my eyes. "You're not making sense."

"And you are?" Edward asked.

"Of course."

"Have you ever considered that that's the problem?" Edward whispered in my ear.

I sighed. "Whatever, there's no point arguing with you, since you always want to be right", I said.

Edward looked like he was going to answer something clever, but then the teacher threw an angry look at us and made an irritated "Shh" sound.

Edward rolled his eyes and then grinned at me. I smiled back, just a little before turning my eyes on the TV screen again and realized that for a little while I'd forgotten that we were in a classroom full of people. For a little while it had just been me and Edward, and it hadn't been all that bad.

**A/N: So please review and tell me what you think :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you to DanielleHalford, EvenstarSinger, matthias4ever and Twilightaddict, love every one of your reviews! And also thanks to the ones who have put this on their Favorite Story or Story alert lists :)**

**Hope you like the next chapter, at least I loved writing it! And please review, your reviews always make me happy!**

Chapter 5

It was Friday night, and not only was I a little drunk, I also found it extremely amusing. Me? Drunk? It all had started when Edward, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice had taken me to their friend's birthday party and somehow I had ended up lying on the floor listening to Emmett and Rosalie fighting. That was actually the reason why I had thought I was drunk, because I was on the floor. I was giggling at Emmett and Rosalie who were fighting about something; I had long ago forgotten what it was. Basically I think they were just yelling at each other for the sake of yelling. I thought it was really entertaining. That was the other reason why I must be drunk.

From somewhere Jasper appeared beside me. I didn't even know he was here.

"Why are they fighting?" Jasper asked nodding at Rosalie, who was screaming that she hated Emmett, who was screaming that she drove him crazy.

"You know what?" I don't have any idea", I said laughing.

"Hmm, interesting", Jasper said pulling at my hair gently.

"What?"

"You're drunk."

I shrugged. "I guess I am."

The music was loud and people were dancing, laughing and drinking, it was exactly the kind of situation I didn't feel comfortable in. Or at least I hadn't felt comfortable before. Right now I felt quite well. Edward walked towards us and sat on the floor beside me and Jasper. He was wearing black jeans and a blue shirt and he looked really hot. I thought I was allowed to think that he was hot since I was drunk.

"What are you doing here on the floor?" Edward asked.

"Actually I don't know." I said giggling.

"You're drunk." Edward pointed out.

"Really? I haven't noticed", I said laughing, even though I didn't quite know why I was laughing.

"That's nice," Edward said nodding.

"It is?" I asked.

"Well is it?" Edward asked smiling.

I had to think about it. I guess it was, everything was hovering and a little blurry. "Guess it is."

Emmett and Rosalie had disappeared somewhere and someone had changed the music into a slower song, making the atmosphere more peaceful. Couples were now dancing on the dance floor, and Alice had wrapped her hands around some guy I didn't know. Jasper looked at them long, before he turned back to look at me.

"Wanna dance?" Edward and Jasper asked almost exactly at the same time.

I giggled a little looking between the two, "No, I don't actually."

"Fine", Edward said shrugging. "You can spend the evening just lying here if you like to, but I'm going to find someone else to dance with." Then he rose up and left me looking behind him.

"What's up with him?" I asked frowning.

"Mood swings, you know, probably that time of the month." Jasper said seriously. I rolled my eyes.

"He likes you", Jasper said.

"Hahaha", I said dryly.

Jasper raised his other eyebrow. "Do you like him?"

"No", I said. Probably a little too fast to be believable, but I didn't care.

"Whatever you say," Jasper said looking over at Edward, who was now on the dance floor, squeezing a girl from my math class against his chest.

I didn't look, because I wasn't interested.

However I stood up when he started to kiss the girl's neck. "I'm going out", I said to Jasper.

It took a while for me to find the front door and I stepped out on the front porch, where there was couple of people smoking. I ignored them and walked for a while, but I didn't get very far until I found a little sobbing bundle at the side of the road. When got closer I realized that it was Rosalie.

"Hi Rose, are you alright?" I asked, even thought clearly she was not alright.

"No I'm not alright", Rosalie cried rising up her head. "I'm a fucking mess."

I sat on the ground beside her. "What happened with you and Emmett?"

When she heard the name Emmett, she started crying even more. "He doesn't love me."

"Did he say that?" I asked.

"Yes!" Rosalie cried.

I didn't know what to say to that. "He probably said it only because he was drunk." I tried to comfort her.

It apparently didn't work, because she started sobbing even harder, so that she could hardly breathe. "That's because he's always drunk. We're always drunk!" Rosalie sobbed. "This life, it's so fucking unreal. And I thought that me and Emmett… I thought we were real. I just want something real."

I looked at Rosalie with her dress all dirty and creased, with tears all over her face and suddenly I saw her so differently. I remembered how when I first saw her she seemed so shallow and happy. Now I realized that she really was neither of those things.

I didn't know what to do, I wasn't good with drunken, crying teenagers, so I just stroked her hair and told her that everything was going to be alright, even thought I didn't know it any better than she did. I didn't know if everything was going to be alright. Suddenly I felt sad and alone too.

Rosalie had said that she wanted something real. I didn't quite know what I had wanted but I had the feeling that it wasn't this.

When she had calmed down a little I took her hand and pulled her up. "Okay, let's get you inside before you get too cold."

I lead her back to the house and asked if she needed anything.

"No, I want to be alone", Rosalie said looking really miserable with her make up all over her face.

I nodded. "See you later then."

After that I went back outside. I needed fresh air. The front porch was empty now and I just stood there and looked at the California sky, feeling drunk and a little empty inside. But only just a little. After a while Edward opened the front door and stepped beside me.

"Where did you leave your girl?" I asked.

"She's not my girl," Edward answered lighting up a cigarette.

"I thought you didn't smoke." I said.

Edward blew the smoke slowly out of his mouth. "I don't. Except if I'm really drunk or if I really want to."

"Do you really like this?" I asked. "This life?"

"Of course I do", Edward said. "I got everything I want, money, girls... And yeah, maybe I'm a spoiled bastard but at least my life is fun."

"I don't think you're a spoiled bastard. Not inside." I said, even though I didn't know why I said that, because I really thought that he was.

"Please, not the psychological inner self crap," Edward sighed.

"Fine, because actually I think you're a selfish and arrogant asshole," I said irritated.

"I thank you for those kind words", Edward smiled.

"And I also think that you're annoying when you're drunk," I added.

"I think you're annoying too when you're drunk but I also think that you're amusing and smoking hot," Edward said grinning.

I sighed; he was really starting to piss me off. "Please, don't play you're games with me. I'm not interested."

"Aren't you," Edward whispered in a husky voice stepping a step closer to me, so that our bodies were so close we were almost touching. I could feel the tension in my every cell and right now I hated the effect he had on me. I'm sure he could hear my heart beating too.

He was smiling a little dangerous smile. A smile that I hated to admit, that I kind of liked.

"I'm not scared of you", I whispered.

"Prove it", Edward said. He was enjoying this. Idiot.

And then I kissed him.

I'm sure I was far more surprised than he was. I didn't know how the hell it happened. Later I couldn't say which one of us moved first. The next thing I knew my arms where around his neck and he was pushing me against him. His lips were soft and hot against my mouth and he was lifting me up a little so that our faces were at the same height. Probably it was a good thing he was holding me so tightly, because otherwise I would have surely fallen over.

Every sensible thought had disappeared from my head by the touch of his lips. I didn't feel anything else than _him_. His smell, his hands, his lips. All my senses were full of him.

And then it was over – just as fast as it had begun. He let go of me and I stood there, staring at his green eyes, trying to even my breath. Suddenly I felt hundred times dizzier than I had felt earlier.

It was the most intense kiss of my life. (Not that I had much experience but still.) I've never experienced such a powerful feeling by kissing someone. I had hard time understanding it.

It was the best kiss of my life.

Edward was breathing heavily and staring at me. His eyes were full of something dangerous, something I didn't quite recognize.

Slowly his expression relaxed. The familiar crooked smile appeared on his face. He nodded at me approvingly.

"See you later", he said, turned around and walked inside leaving me staring behind.

That's it? See you later? What a jerk.

I woke up with a painful headache. The light was way too bright; it hurt my eyes, even when they were closed. I realized I must be experiencing the first real hangover of my life. A memorable moment.

Slowly I opened my eyes and gasped panicking after I realized I wasn't in my own bedroom.

This room was much fancier. It was like a piece of art, everything matched, along all the many little details, everything looked expensive. The colors were light; pink and white everywhere. There were clothes, bags, make up and stilettos in every direction. After taking a second look, it wasn't hard to guess whose room it was.

And besides that, I noticed that Alice was sleeping in the huge white bed next to me.

Now that I realized that I was in Alice's bedroom yesterdays memories came back to me slowly. About how someone - Jasper? - had driven us back to Alice's place.

And after that I remembered everything that had happened before. How I had gone out and found Rosalie and after bringing her inside gone to the porch again. And how Edward had come and –

I gasped again and buried my head in my hands when the realization hit me.

I had kissed Edward. The Guy I Did Not Like.

What a mess. I didn't want to kiss Edward. I didn't want Edward. I just wanted to be his friend or something. I didn't want to get into that because to be honest if I did, I didn't know how I would get out.

Not that I hadn't enjoyed it though. And that was probably the worst part; how I could still taste him in my mouth and almost feel his hands around me. Oh crap. I was in trouble.

"Bella?" Alice mumbled and stuck her head warily out of under the covers.

"Ugh", I groaned closing my eyes again.

"How are you doing?" Alice muttered burying her head again under the covers.

"I've been better," I smiled a little.

Alice chuckled comfortingly. "I've been worse."

"Bet you have. Do you have any painkillers?"

"On the dresser", Alice said. I searched for a while until I found a bottle of water and some pills that looked enough like painkillers and swallowed a few.

After couple of hours we were sitting at the kitchen table and sipping black coffee. I was wearing Alice's old t-shirt that said "kiss me I'm rich" and my light blue knickers.

Alice's kitchen was huge; I couldn't understand why anyone would need so big kitchen, especially when they had like two times that size dining room. Otherwise they're house was too fancy for my liking too, the kind of house, that I was afraid to touch anything, because I might break something.

"What do you want to do today?" Alice asked pouring more coffee in her cup.

"Oh crap", I gasped suddenly remembering. "I forgot! Charlie doesn't know where I am." I couldn't believe it; I had just forgotten to call Charlie about where I was. He must be so worried.

"Are you in trouble?" Alice asked.

"I don't know", I said. This was so new situation to me. I used to be the good girl who never got grounded. Now I didn't know who I was. "I should probably go home."

"Okay", Alice said following me to her bedroom. I picked up the dress I was wearing last night from the floor. It was rumpled and messy.

"You can't wear that", Alice said. "I'll lend you some clothes."

Alice rummaged her huge closet for a while and threw me a pair of light blue jeans and a red tank top. "Those should fit."

I dressed up quickly and found my bag in the corner of the room and then Alice drove me at our house.

"Call me later, okay?" Alice said.

"Okay, see you." I said and hopped out of the car.

I searched for my keys and opened the front door. "Dad? Sue?" I called but didn't get any answer.

The house was empty.

I wondered into the kitchen and found another note on the table. "_Charlie had some work thing he needed to do and I'm out with my friends. Hope you have a nice day! Sue."_

I stared at the note my mouth open. Really? They hadn't even noticed that I wasn't home the whole night? I guess it was a good thing; at least I wasn't in trouble. But still. Things had certainly changed.

I was just planning to get myself something to eat when my phone rang. I picked it up after looking who was calling.

"Hi Mom," I said.

"Hi baby. How are you doing there?" Mom asked, and I could still hear the guilty edge in her voice.

"I'm good! I just got back from Alice, the girl I told you about. I was spending the night at her house," I said trying to sound all happy and excited.

"Really?" mom asked. "Did you have a slumber party? That's nice."

"Yeah", I just said, not feeling the need to inform her more about what had happened last night. "So anyway, how are you and Phil?"

"Fine, we both just have a lot of work", mom said. "And we're missing you of course."

"Phil too?" I asked rising my eyebrow. It was not a secret that Phil and I never really got along.

"Honey, come on", mom pleaded.

"Fine, whatever", I sighed. I didn't want to argue about that anymore. Mom said Phil just didn't understand me, I thought he didn't want to.

"Anyway, when are you going to come visit us?" she asked.

"Mom, I just got here", I pointed out.

"Yeah, but it feels like forever", she said.

"I miss you too, mom", I said. And it was true. Despite all the things happening so fast, I missed her. The way we used to be before, when there were just us two and things were simple. The mom she used to be before.

"But now I have to go", mom said. "I'm at work. I love you, honey."

"Love you too," I said.

"Okay, call me soon! Bye bye."

"Bye," I said and hung up.

For some reason I was feeling a bit sad. I missed the time when things used to be simple and now things were a little bit messy and I had kissed Edward and what's more I had liked it. And I wanted to do it again.

But I knew that I shouldn't want to kiss Edward, it wouldn't come to any good.

I didn't feel like eating anymore. I felt like more confused than ever. I called Alice quickly, letting her know that I wasn't in trouble and then opened my computer and tried to focus my thoughts on finishing an essay I had started few days ago and that was supposed to be ready after the weekend.

I was sitting at Alice's backyard my feet in their swimming pool. It was burning hot and I was sweating even in my top and shorts that were far too revealing for my liking, but it felt like these days I wore mostly what Alice told me to wear.

It was Monday afternoon and we'd just got out of school. Me, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were all hanging out in Alice's backyard along with half a dozen other kids from Huntington High. Alice's parents were never home, so they couldn't care less if Alice had invited the whole school for a slumber party. I thought it was sad that her parents – two extremely famous and extremely busy lawyers – were never there for her, but she said that it was cool that she practically had the whole house for herself.

Rosalie was still a little sad and teary, but as soon as we'd got out of the school area Alice had handed her a bottle of scotch and now she was looking better already. I had let Alice know my disapproval about Monday afternoon drinking, but she had told that it was emergency, so I'd just decided to let it be.

Neither Emmett nor Edward had been seen all day.

When I asked Alice about it she'd told me that it wasn't anything exceptional. "Sometimes they just decide to skip a school for a day or two," Alice said. "I don't really know what they're doing, but after a while I just stopped asking. And probably Emmett just didn't feel like seeing Rose after their fight."

So now I was just trying my best to keep Edward out of my mind. I hadn't seen him all weekend. Basically I hadn't seen him after our kiss.

I was a little bit in my thought again so I jumped when suddenly someone said my name and when I turned around Edward was there, smiling at me.

"Sorry," Edward said sitting down beside me, "Didn't meant to scare you."

"No, I was just thinking," I said completely puzzled by his sudden arrival. "You weren't at school," I pointed out not so intelligently.

"No. just needed a little break", Edward said. "Missed me already?"

I chuckled showing how ridiculous the thought was.

Edward didn't say anything and I couldn't think of something to say either. I couldn't figure him out; one moment he was kissing me and the second he acted like nothing at all had happened. And even though there was a part of me that hated to admit it, our kiss was not nothing.

"So you don't think that we should talk?" I asked at last.

"Talk about what?" Edward said looking at my feet which were splashing the water, instead of looking at my face, which for some reason irritated me even more.

"Well if you weren't too drunk to notice, we happened to kiss last Friday," I pointed out.

"So?"

"So maybe you just go around kissing every other girl you see, but I don't do that", I said more and more annoyed all the time. Why he had to be such a jerk? Why he had to be so damn hot even while being a jerk?

Edward grinned. "You going around kissing every other girl should be interesting."

"You know what I meant." I said not a bit amused.

Edward sighed. "Okay. We kissed. And I liked it. Actually I enjoyed it quite a lot. And I'd like to do it again some time. But still, it was just a kiss. It doesn't mean I'm desperately in love with you, you should know that already. There's nothing to talk about."

I stared at him not knowing what to say. "Well yeah, guess I should have known," I said, a little hurt. "But you know, I'm not used to getting drunk and kissing some random guys without it meaning anything", I said. "And sometimes, like right now you're just being a dickhead, but it's okay, because I'm getting used to it already," I added formally.

Edward nodded, for the first time it seemed like he couldn't make up anything clever to say. It made me feel only a little exultant.

"Well, good." Edward said. Hah, at least I wasn't the only one making stupid comments.

"Yeah, good." I said.

We sat there for a couple of minutes; silent and still, staring at Alice's swimming pool. Then Edward stood up and suddenly he was gone, as soon as he'd arrived.

God, that guy was confusing.

The rest of the week passed by quickly, maybe because I suddenly had so much to do. At least Alice and my other new friends were making sure that I never had a boring moment. I didn't talk to Edward much. When we saw each other at lunch break or biology class, Edward was acting like there was nothing at all going on between us too. I would have thought that I was relieved about it, because there really shouldn't have been anything going on between us, but I wasn't. To be honest, it was annoying the hell out of me.

Because I couldn't stop thinking about him. I'd even dreamed about him one night. I know, it was rather pathetic.

But at the end of the week I couldn't deny the possibility that I might have just a tiny crush on him. Which was bad, not only because I knew that it wouldn't turn out good but also because sometimes he irritated me so much. At times I didn't even like him, but still I had this awful crush on him. And I wanted him, in a way that I had never wanted anyone else before. It felt like my body had its own will and it just wanted to be close to Edward.

So before I noticed, it was Friday again. The last class had just ended and I, Alice and Rosalie were walking out of the school building.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Alice asked.

"I just want to get drunk and forget everything," Rosalie said. She hadn't talked with Emmett in a week now and even Alice had started to get a little worried.

But what was weirder was that I felt exactly like Rose. Right now getting drunk and for a while just not thinking so much seemed like a good idea. What was happening to me?

"Okay, there's this party I know," Alice said as cheery as always. "We're going there."

"Fine, where is it?" I asked.

"You don't know how to drive there anyway", Alice said sounding a little uneasy, clearly avoiding my question. "So I'm picking you and Rosalie up."

I gave Alice a suspicious look, wondering why she hadn't answered my question. But anyway I was going to find it out sooner or later.

Alice picked me up around eight P.M. and I hopped into the passenger seat of her car, wearing a silver top and a black miniskirt Alice had picked out for me when we were out shopping. She nodded approvingly so I guess I had succeeded in my outfit.

"So can you tell me where the party is?" I asked.

"Fine, I just didn't want to say it, when Rose was there," Alice said.

"Why?" I asked confused.

Alice sighed. "Well I think she and Emmett had fought enough, it has to end. So as I happen to know that there's a party at Emmett's place I'm just going to take Rosalie there and then when they're both drunk enough not to care, they're going to have sex and then everything's fine again. And that's all because of me! How awesome am I?" Alice said exited about her plan.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"It will work, you'll see." Alice said smiling at me confidently.

We picked up Rosalie and drove to Emmett's house. When Rosalie figured out where we were going, she made a scene of course, but Alice convinced her to come in telling her that it was a big party and she wouldn't probably even see Emmett and if she did, she could make out with some random guy to make him jealous.

I'd never been at Emmett's house, but it was really beautiful. Big and light, but right now it was full of people and the music was loud.

Alice handed me a glass and I just gulped it down without paying that much attention to what I was drinking. Right now I wasn't in the mood to care about that.

Alice pushed Rosalie on the couch, tucked a glass into her hands and then pulled me with her across the middle of the living room, which was serving as a dance floor to the bar table, that was filled with bottles and glasses.

"My plan will work, just wait and see," Alice yelled in my ear, over the music. She handed me a gin tonic and then made one for herself.

We were standing by the bar table with Alice quite a while, gulping our drinks and Alice was telling me all the new gossips, which I really wasn't that interested in.

Everything was going fine, and I started to feel a little blurry and giggly already, when I saw Edward. Of course I should have known that I must see him at some part of the night, but I hadn't really thought of that. And there he was, talking with Jessica. He looked a little bored; he didn't even look at Jessica, which made me feel slightly better.

Alice handed me another gin tonic. I knew that it probably wasn't wise, especially knowing my lack of experience with alcohol, but whatever.

After we had finished our second drinks Alice said that we had to go to make sure that Rosalie got enough to drink, so that her master plan would work.

We found Rosalie in the middle of the dance floor and saw that she managed to take care of that without our help.

"This party's so much fun," Rosalie giggled, grabbing my hands and swinging me around on the dance floor. For some reason I found it extremely funny too.

"Oh gosh, you two are such drunks," Alice said after I had swallowed a big gulp from the glass that was in her hand.

"But that's all because of you", I pointed out to her. "You're a bad influence."

Alice grinned. "I think it's good for you. To loosen up a bit, have fun, not worry so much all the time."

"Yeah, I guess so." I said. I was tired of all the worrying.

Couple of hours and far too many drinks later I found myself sitting on the couch table, laughing recklessly to some story Mike Newton was telling. Mike seemed to be quite pleased from all the attention he got.

But all my attention was turned away from him when I saw Edward coming at our direction.

"Hi," Edward said to me holding a bottle of liquor in his other hand. He ignored Mike skillfully.

"I'm a little drunk," I giggled at Edward. I had meant to say just 'hi' but somehow the words had changed on their way out of my mouth. Oh crap, Edward was looking so hot in his white t-shirt and fashionably worn out jeans.

"I noticed. Me too." Edward said smiling. I smiled back at him, right now I didn't find him annoying at all. Mike threw and angry look at Edward.

"Wanna dance?" Edward asked continuing to ignore Mike.

"Yes", I said realizing that that's all I really wanted right now, to dance with Edward.

He led me to the dance floor swaying a little. I gulped from his bottle and he wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and I pressed my face against his shoulder.

The song wasn't that slow, but we were just swinging on the spot, hardly moving at all. Edward smelled good.

"You know I really enjoyed kissing you the other day", Edward whispered in my ear, his lips almost touching my neck.

"Me too," I gasped, hardly able to speak. "Alice says you're not good for me." I added for some unknown reason. I really didn't think clearly.

"But since we're both so drunk and probably won't remember anything in the morning, it doesn't really matter, right?" Edward whispered softly.

"Good point", I said.

And before I noticed, he was kissing me again. Hard and fast. I was clinging on him, and he was the only thing keeping me in an upright position.

After a while Edward's lips moved on to my neck and I gasped. I kind of realized that there were quite a many people staring at us. I really didn't want to care.

"Wait", I whispered finally, not really wanting his lips to leave my skin. "We need to get out of here before Alice sees. We're going to get into trouble." I said and instantly after saying it out loud burst into laughter, realizing how funny it sounded. Like Alice was my father.

Edward laughed too. "Okay, come on."

I was only half aware that Edward led me to upstairs and soon we were in a big, white bedroom that looked as luxurious as the rest of the house. However I didn't have much time to concentrate on the room, because Edward's lips were against my lips again.

He was sliding his hands under my shirt and my skin trembled from the touch of his hands. Some part of me said that I should stop this before we were too far, but I couldn't help myself. I couldn't even think.

I pulled Edward's t-shirt off and pressed my lips on his bare shoulder.

He lifted me up laughing and put me down on the bed, his lips never leaving my skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stringed my fingers through his hair pulling his face closer to mine, until our lips were touching again. I closed my eyes and I really couldn't think of anything else than his touch and the feelings it send through my body.

**A/N: Please review and tell me what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you matthias4ever, . and DanielleHalford from reviews and also thanks to all who've put this on their favorite/alert lists! Love you guys! :)**

**Hope you like this one and don't forget to review and tell me what you think!**

Chapter 6 

Bella's PoV

When I had woken up last weekend I had thought I was hung-over. Now I knew that it was nothing compared to this, _this_ was hangover. My head felt like it had been run over with a truck at least twice. And according to the nauseating feeling in my stomach I would have already threw up if my stomach hadn't been so empty.

After lying still for a moment I opened my eyes slowly. And almost screamed out loud.

I closed my eyes. This. Was. So. Not. Happening. I must be dreaming.

I dared to open up my right eye just a little bit. I didn't have any idea where the hell I was but I knew that it wasn't my room. But all of that didn't matter right now because I was not alone.

I was with frigging Edward Cullen. In a _bed_.

"Oh God", I groaned looking at Edward who was sleeping next to me like the most innocent thing. "No, no, no."

I had fucked up. A lot.

I buried my head in my hands trying to breathe. _Okay calm down_, I told myself, _this can't be that bad_.

Okay, this was exactly that bad. Because I had realized that under the covers I was naked. Like totally, completely, unavoidably naked. I didn't even want to start thinking what that had to mean.

I needed to get out of here, Like right now.

I stumbled out of the bed pulling the whole cover with me. Just to discover that Edward was every bit as naked as I was. Oh gosh.

I collected my clothes from the floor and put them on as fast as I could, then threw the cover at the bed, not looking anywhere near it and practically ran out of the room.

I scrambled down the stairs feeling sick and ended up into the living room. It was a mess, half empty bottles and glasses everywhere. A couple of people were snoring away on the couch.

"Bella."

I jumped in the air when I heard my name.

"Didn't mean to scare you," Emmett said laughing. "Have you seen Edward?"

The nauseating feeling came back to me when I heard Edward's name. "I have to –" I groaned and rushed into the bathroom.

After I had flushed down all the last contents of my stomach I got out of the bathroom. Emmett was still in the living room and he grinned after seeing me coming out.

"You seem like you had fun last night," he commented.

"Yeah," I said feeling awful. "You know, I really have to go now, so see you later."

Then I ran out of the living room and the whole house, before he had the time to say anything.

Emmett's place wasn't far away from the center of the town so I just started walking somewhere, not really paying much attention to where I was heading.

I had thought that the fresh air would make me feel better but it didn't really. As I was walking, some of last night's memories slowly came back to me, all blurry and broken, but it was enough so that I could figure out the rest.

And I couldn't deny the truth. I had had sex with Edward Cullen.

I felt so completely horrible alone and screwed up that I couldn't do anything else than sit on the nearest bench that was on the side of the road and cry my eyes out.

Everything was just so… wrong.

I finally stopped crying when a middle aged woman sat on the bench beside me and gave me a motherly caring look. "Are you okay, dear?" she asked in a worried tone.

"No I'm not okay," I sobbed. "Because I only moved here 'cause I couldn't stand my mother's new husband and I didn't even like partying or drinking before I came here. I didn't mean to get drunk and screw Edward, the guy I was not supposed to like, because Edward screws everything that moves and he doesn't even care about me and now everything's just a mess."

The women stared at me, stunned into silence when I had stopped. "God bless you." she said patting my shoulder with her hand and then walked away.

I sat there, alone on the park bench for a while looking at the people walking by and shaking their heads at my direction. I realized, how awful I must have looked, wearing clothes more suitable for a night club, my hair tangled and make up and tears mixed all over my face.

Finally I decided that I just had to call Alice, because for one thing, I didn't know how to get home and second, I really needed someone to talk to.

"Alice, I need you." I said right after she had picked up.

"Where are you?" she asked her voice still sleepy. I must have woken her up.

"I don't know exactly. It's kind of a small park near Emmett's house."

"Oh, I know it," Alice said. "Is everything all right?" She asked hesitantly.

I sighed. "No, not really." I confessed after a while.

"Just stay right there. Don't move. I'll be there in a sec, okay?" she said. She being her normal, determined self, really calmed me down more than the fresh air stuff.

"Okay", I said weekly. I felt like I might start to cry again.

"Okay", she said. "I'm going to hang up now, see you in a minute then."

"See you", I answered. "And Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

I could hear her smile on the other side of the line. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Alice sat beside me on the same spot that the woman had earlier. "Tell me."

"I messed up." I said.

"How bad?"

"Bad. Like really bad." I said burying my face on her shoulder.

"Just tell me. It can't be that bad", Alice said encouragingly.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I felt like I couldn't say the words out loud.

"Okay, I fucked Edward", I said as quickly as I could.

"_What_?" Alice gasped.

"You heard right," I whispered miserably.

"How could he do that?" Alice yelled.

"What?" I repeated Alice's words frowning.

"I told him," Alice said all worked up now, "I told him not to mess with you."

"It's not his fault." I said. "I'm the biggest slut in the world." Because that's how I felt. I just wasn't the kind of girl who got drunk and lost their virginity to someone they barely knew and didn't even remember most of it. Well except that, apparently I was.

Alice sighed, looking at me sympathetically. "Of course it's his fault. He's the one from the two of you who has far more experience about sex or alcohol or sex and alcohol combined."

"Yeah, I guess it was his fault then", I admitted. "This is awful."

Alice hugged me tightly. "Don't worry, everything's going to be okay. Let's get you out of here."

She pulled me up and pushed me into her car. I didn't say anything, because I felt like I might start crying again.

I didn't even pay attention where we were going, until Alice pulled up in her front yard.

"Can't you just take me home?" I asked.

"God, no." Alice said shaking her head. "You look awful; your dad would have a heart attack."

"Oh right." I said, for the second time today realizing that I looked a complete mess.

After a long hot shower, a big breakfast and some more crying against Alice's shoulder, I felt slightly better and managed to convince Alice that I was in a stable enough state to be let home.

Edward's PoV

When I woke up I had the kind of feeling that I had messed up badly. I realized that I was sleeping in one of Emmett's parents' guest rooms. Despite all the scotch I had drunken last night I had no trouble remembering what had happened.

I had fucking fucked _Bella Swan_.

I know, that's what I had wanted, but still, it kind of felt wrong.

And that was another thing that was wrong. I was fucking Edward Cullen, I didn't think that way. Most of the time I didn't even think I just did.

Oh shit - Alice. Alice was going to be so pissed off. After all she was one of my best friends, I didn't want to hurt her.

Oh heck, now I wasn't even making any sense, it was Bella I had screwed, not Alice. Not that I wanted to hurt Bella either. The weird thing was that against all odds, I had really started to like that girl. Despite the fact that she was such a smart-ass and naïve I really kind of liked her. And despite the fact that she didn't have any sense of fashion and she barely brushed her hair in the morning, I thought she was kind of beautiful.

So maybe we could have kept it that way. Maybe we could have become friends eventually. But not now, no way it was going to happen after last night.

After last night, I didn't know where we were anymore. And even thought I would never ever admit it to anyone, including me, it was a bit scary.

I sighed and finally got out of the bed. I didn't have any idea, what the time was, but the sun was already shining bright on the sky, so it couldn't be that early.

I was a bit disappointed that Bella had left already. I would've wanted to see her, even thought it was a silly thought and I didn't even know why, but it was probably because I was a little hung-over and wasn't thinking that clearly.

So I just put on my clothes and left the room to see if I could find any painkillers. I would have known my way to Emmett's bedroom even in my dreams.

"Hey, Em, do you have any –" I started and then stopped suddenly. "What the hell, guys? I thought you were fighting?"

I said to Rosalie and Emmett who were in his bed in a very not-fighting position.

"Edward, we're having a kind of private situation, so would you mind pissing off?" Rosalie said blushing.

"Yeah", Emmett mumbled his face buried in Rosalie's messy hair.

"Oh gosh, yeah," I said shaking my head and closing the door quickly. I stood for a moment in front of the door my mouth hanging open and then headed to the kitchen.

I poured myself a cup of cold coffee and tried to clear my thoughts. My head still hurt a little but it was starting to get better.

I was just gulping my second cup of coffee and thinking that I should probably get home, when the kitchen door swung open and Alice flew in like a small hurricane.

"Edward Anthony Cullen."

"Yes, Alice?" I said as sweetly and innocently as I could. Apparently it didn't work with Alice, though. Well, I didn't even expect it to.

"You're a real dumbass, you know," Alice said walking in front of me and crossed her arms glancing at me angrily.

I had to admit, she was kind of scary when she got that way.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine?" I said, meekly.

"Shut up, Edward", Alice snorted. "Do you even remember what I said to you?"

"You've said many things to me, so naturally I can't remember every one of them but –"

"I told you not to mess around with her," Alice practically shouted at me. "She's so different than you, can't you realize that? She doesn't have any experience at this and this is not what she wanted anyway."

"Oh, isn't it?" I said rising my other eyebrow. "To me it seemed like she quite wanted it last night."

"That's so not the point," Alice said slapping the back of my head.

"Ouch, that hurts!" I said offended.

"You deserved it" Alice said.

I just shrugged. Probably I did.

"You're just so –" she sighed, shaking her head, apparently not even finding the words. "You're so selfish. You don't ever think about anything else than what you want and you have to always be so damn tough. Usually it doesn't bother me, because I've known you basically my whole life and I know who you really are and I know that you would never hurt me, but Bella's my friend too now, so you can't just do that to her."

"Believe me, Alice. I didn't mean to." I just said.

"How can you not mean to do it?" Alice asked still looking annoyed but her face was softened just a little bit, in a way that said that she might actually maybe someday forgive me.

"I was drunk!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "You're drunk half of the time, so that's not really a good explanation."

"Okay, fine, I'm sorry." I said. "Happy now?"

"No, you should be saying that to her", Alice said.

"Well I'm saying it to you now."

"Fine then. I may forgive you someday maybe." she said, no longer frowning.

"Good," I said when she was already leaving. "Oh, and Alice?"

"Yeah?" She said turning around.

"You might want to know that your plan actually worked. If you go up to Em's room, you'll find Rose and Emmett there."

"Oh, cool!" Alice yelled and was already turning around probably to run up to see for herself.

"But you might not want to go there right now," I said winking at her.

She laughed. "Oh, right. I gotta go, see you guys later then."

And then she was out of the room. Alice might be a little short-tempered, but thank god she never stayed mad for too long.

Bella's PoV

When I got back home I found Charlie in the living room watching news from TV. I was little surprised, I didn't expect to find anyone home. Even at weekends they both seemed to have so much to do. It was so different. I still kept wondering where my old dad, the one who used to spend every evening watching baseball, had disappeared to.

"Hi Bells." Charlie called, using my old nickname.

"Hi dad," I said stepping into the living room, but stopping at the doorway. "Where's Sue."

"She's in some charity meeting", Charlie said, without much feeling. "Where have you been?"

"Oh I… I was with Alice", I said. I didn't feel the need to tell him with whom I had been before that.

"Okay did you have fun?" he asked, his eyes were back on the TV screen again.

"Yes", I said quietly. I was usually so bad liar I didn't fool anyone, but guess it didn't matter, since he wasn't even paying any attention to me.

"Well good." He said.

"Yeah good", I said. After a short awkward silence I left to my own room.

It was kind of weird. We were never that close with Charlie, but before it felt like he was trying his best. That he was trying to understand me and that he wanted to be there for me.

This new Charlie however, was like a complete stranger that I didn't have nothing in common with. But after all, I didn't even bother to be irritated by it. That wasn't the biggest one of my problems. But I was trying hard not to think about the biggest problem, though. That was pretty much how I spent the rest of the weekend, trying hard not to think about Edward and failing miserably.

And far too soon it was Monday morning and I was supposed to get out of bed and to school. For a while I considered staying in bed and telling Charlie and Sue I was sick. (Even though they wouldn't probably even notice if I just stayed home.) But after all staying at home, would probably just make it worse. I would have to face Edward sooner or later anyway. So might as well do it sooner.

When I get to school, just a little before the first hour was beginning Alice rushed towards me with a huge smile in her face. I hadn't spoken to her since the Saturday morning I didn't want to think about.

"Bella, guess what!" she said exited.

"What?" I said wondering what she was so excited about.

"It totally worked! My master plan, it worked!" Alice said jumping a little.

"What?" I said confused about what she was talking about now.

"My plan to get Emmett and Rosalie back together. It so worked, they're happily together again and everything fine", Alice explained.

"Really?" I said puzzled, I had completely forgotten about her 'master' plan, though I would have never thought that such a ridiculous plan could possibly work.

"Yeah, absolutely!" Alice laughed still a wide smile on her face. "How awesome am I?"

"Of course, you're awesome Alice, but I really have to go now, or I'm going to be late for the class and so are you by the way." I said and couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Okay, see you later then." Alice said and danced away with her pink ballerina shoes like a little pixie.

I hurried to my English class and was there just before the class started. I had just sat next to Jasper when Mr. Mason started to tell us about the next book we were supposed to read.

"Hi." I said a little out of breath.

"Hi," Jasper said quietly, smiling at me. "How are you? Haven't seen you since Friday."

"Oh, I'm fine" I said. "I just had a kind of… quiet weekend."

"Yeah, me too," Jasper said nodding understandingly. Even though I was sure that he wouldn't have understood if I had told him what really happened. It wasn't like He didn't even seem to particularly like Edward.

For a while we tried to actually concentrate on the teaching, even though English was the only subject that I was good even when I didn't pay that much attention.

"Bella?" Jasper whispered at the end of the hour.

"Yes?" I said turning to look at him.

"Are you okay? You seem a little off", Jasper asked softly.

I was just about to assure him that I was fine, when I changed my mind. "What would you do, if you had kind of screwed up and you couldn't do anything to make it better?"

Jasper looked at me long, thoughtfully. "Screwed up in what way? If I had hurt someone I would just let them know that I'm sorry."

"Not in that way," I corrected. "I didn't hurt anyone. Or maybe me, I don't know."

He frowned, clearly confused about what I was saying. "If there really was nothing I could do about it, I would just try to learn my lesson and forget it."

"And if you couldn't just forget it?" I asked.

Jasper sighed. "Bella, I can't believe that you would have done anything so awful. Everyone makes mistakes; don't be so hard on yourself. If you'd tell me what happened, maybe I could help."

I smiled at him. He was already making me feel a little better. "Thanks Jasper, but I really need to deal with this alone."

Jasper looked like he was going to say something more, but then the bell rung and everyone was packing their stuff and out of the classroom.

I finally saw Edward before my second class. He was talking with Mike and it looked like Mike was annoying the crap out of him. I wondered what they were arguing about. I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and then started to walk towards them determinedly. I knew that if I didn't do it now, I would probably never do it.

"Edward," I tried to stop my voice from trembling. They both turned to look at me the exactly same time.

"Hi Bella," Mike said and a wide smile appeared in his face. "Did you have a good weekend?"

"Yeah, I did", I said not paying the least bit of attention to him. Edward was avoiding my eyes. "Edward?" I repeated. "Could we talk?"

Finally he turned his incredibly green eyes at me and I couldn't read any emotion in them, but they made me immediately blush. "The class starts in few minutes, we're going to be late."

"Since when did you care about that?" I said a little irritated.

"Fine, then," Edward said. "I just thought that you did."

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away from Mike, like I wouldn't have more important things in mind than being late for the next class.

Edward didn't say anything, but just followed me.

I didn't stop until we were in the outside of the school building in a place where teachers couldn't see us from the windows.

Then I turned around and faced him. He was leaning against the wall and I had the feeling that he was trying his best to keep his expression neutral.

Now that I got him here, I didn't have the slightest idea what I would say, even thought I had considered different options in my head the whole morning.

"Okay." I said finally. What a fascinating start.

Edward just raised his brow so I took it as a request to go on.

"I know that… what happened was probably nothing unusual to you and that's okay. I'm not going to set up any abused innocent little girl scene but I thought that maybe we should talk or something."

"Okay, let's talk," Edward said. He wasn't making this any easier for me. "What do you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath. "Well I just need to know", I said blushing so that my face was probably closer to the color of a beetroot. This was so embarrassing. "Did we… use protection?"

Edward seemed completely astonished about my question. "You don't _remember_?" he said quietly, almost whispering.

"No, I don't remember", I said sourly. Was he actually trying to make this harder?

"Oh", Edward said still looking a little stunned, but also ashamed now.

"Don't try to say that you didn't know that I was drunk," I warned him.

Edward shook his head. "No, I'm not saying that, but I just didn't think… Well anyway, yes, of course we did. I might be irresponsible but I'm not that irresponsible."

"Okay", I sighed relieved.

After a long – or at least it felt long – embarrassed silence I was already deciding to go back to school. This wasn't working out.

I was just about to turn around when Edward opened his mouth again. "Bella?"

I turned my eyes at him. He looked a little uneasy too.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you", he said.

Now was my time to be surprised. He had actually apologized? He actually _was_ sorry?

"Not that I didn't like it though," he continued, making me blush again. "But I just didn't know that you were so… I guess I just didn't think."

"It's okay," I whispered. "I didn't think either." I didn't say that I think I had liked it too, at least the part that I could remember.

"Friends?" Edward asked holding out his hand for me.

I hesitated. I didn't know if I quite believed that we could be friends, just friends, when he was constantly confusing me, making me act like an idiot and losing my self control.

"Friends", I said despite all of that and grabbed his hand. It felt warm and comfortable in my hand, like it somehow belonged there. I didn't have any idea where we were heading, but maybe, after all, it wouldn't be so horrible to find out.

The rest of the school day was over soon. Alice and Rosalie caught up with me when I was getting out of the front doors.

"So what do you want to do today?" Alice asked.

"Is staying inside and doing some homework an option?" I suggested.

"Of course not." Rosalie said rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, I know what we're doing," Alice nodded. "We're going to the beach."

"Cool, let's call up the boys", Rosalie said, all cheery and happy again from her make-up with Emmett.

Alice threw a questioning glance at my direction. She wanted to know if I was okay with hanging out with Edward.

I smiled nodding. "Sure, that's fun." If I was going to try being friends with Edward I might as well start now. And hanging out in the beach was something that friends did. It was casual, it was normal.

Soon we were in the beach and Edward and Emmett joined us all laughing and cheerful after they got out of school.

Edward sat next to me on the warm sand and he was acting like nothing had happened. It was actually nice, like he wanted to show me that it could work; the whole 'us being friends' thing. And maybe he was also a little bit trying to show it to Alice, who was throwing suspicious looks at him every now and again.

We were talking about everything normal. Complaining about the big pile of homework our biology teacher had given us and arguing about whether he was gay or not.

"Oh come on, he has a ring in his left hand, sure he has a loving wife and two kids." I protested.

"But did you see the shirt he was wearing today?" Edward grinned. "He got the ring from his ten year younger, gay boyfriend."

"You can't say that he's gay just on account of his shirt." I laughed.

"Okay guys, let's go swimming", Emmett cried interrupting our arguing.

"Yes!" Rosalie said and jumped up pulling Alice with her.

"Let's go, Bella", Alice said grabbing my other arm as she pulled me up with Rosalie.

"Come on guys, I don't even have my swimming suit with me", I said.

Edward stood up too and grinned at me. "Oh come on, you don't need any swimming suit."

Alice nodded. "Don't be boring Bella."

"Yeah, let's go", Edward said grinning his mischievous crooked smile that never lead to anything good and before I knew it, he had lifted me over his shoulder and carried me towards the water.

The others followed after us, laughing at my predicament, and the next thing I knew Edward had thrown me head first to the sea.

I rose up from the water laughing and gasping air, and tackled Edward into the water before he had time to notice what I was doing.

That started a long and cruel water fight; to which afterwards we slouched back to the beach all exhausted, laughing and soaking wet.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: _matthias4ever, denni196, XmillieXjrX, DanielleHalford_, _ParamorFanFrLif_ and _cassiecat97 _thank you for your wonderful comments, I love each and every one of them, you're a great inspiration to me! And also thanks to all my other readers!**

**So it really sucks to be without internet connection for over a week... But luckily, now I'm back and with a new chapter. I had so much fun writing this, hope you enjoy reading it!  
**** And remember to leave a comment :)**

Chapter 7

I was dozing in the English class, my head resting against Jasper's shoulder. I hadn't really slept that much last night. This time it wasn't so much that I couldn't fell asleep, but I had just gotten home so late. I didn't mean to be out that late, but somehow it was almost midnight, when Alice finally drove me home. It was a little weird, this new freedom that I suddenly had. My mom wasn't that strict with rules, but she definitely wouldn't have allowed me to be out that late in the middle of the week. Whereas this new Charlie didn't seem to care.

Jasper pushed me gently and I jumped awake. Jasper nodded towards the teacher who was looking at me with and irritated expression in his face.

"Now, if even the most sleepy students could concentrate for a while, so that I could tell you about your upcoming essay." Mr. Mason said.

I blushed a little and turned my eyes to the teacher. When had I turned into such a bad student?

"So did you work out that problem you had?" Jasper whispered in my ear after a while, when the teacher had concentrated his attention to some other poor kid.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. I think things are a bit better now, anyway."

Jasper nodded. "Good. You know, if you need help in something, just tell me." he said smiling at me his small, warm smile.

"Thanks", I said smiling back. I think he was so nice, being worried about me in a way that no one had been in a while.

When the class finally ended, we collected our books. When we were on our way to the next class we run into Alice.

"Oh hi, Bella," she said as cheery as always. "Hi Jasper." she added then, like she had only now noticed him and smiled at him a little.

"Hi Alice." Jasper said looking at Alice long. It looked like he was about to say something, but didn't know exactly what.

"Anyway, I gotta go. Bella, see you at lunch break," Alice said. "Jasper, see you around sometime."

She waved at us then danced away. I noticed that Jasper turned to look after her.

"Jasper." I started after a while of hesitation.

"Yes?" he said turning his eyes back at me quickly.

"The thing you said about if I needed help in something," I said, "it applies to you too; just tell me if you need me."

Jasper nodded smiling. "Okay. But now I have to go or I'm going to be late for my next class."

"Okay, see you." I said and continued to walk towards my next classroom thinking about Alice and Jasper. It had been kind of clear to me for a while, that Jasper liked Alice, but he was far too shy to do anything to it. And Alice - well, she just thought that he was attractive. I thought they would be cute together…

At lunch break everything was normal for a change. Edward and Emmett was talking about some boyish car thing and it sounded more like they were talking in some secret code language, since I hardly understood a word. Rosalie and Alice were gossiping about Jessica, who had been seen in some party with Eric Yorkie, basically that conversation was focused on the fact how big slut Jessica was. I tried to concentrate on my math homework; I hadn't had time finish yesterday.

"Whatever, she can do anything she likes," Alice shrugged. "I don't even have to care now, since Edward isn't seeing her anymore, right?"

"More like Edward isn't doing her anymore," Emmett chuckled.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Guys."

"You know what we should do", Alice said suddenly turning to look at Rosalie and me.

"What?" I said suspiciously, I wasn't sure if I always liked her ideas.

"We should have a pajama party!" Alice said excited. "We never have pajama parties; that would be fun."

"Yeah! " Emmett said nodding. "I don't think I've ever even been in a pajama party."

"No way, you wouldn't be in this one either", Alice said laughing. "This would be a girls' night. We haven't had girls' night in a while."

"Yeah, that would be fun," Rosalie nodded. "Do you remember when we were younger and we used to have them all the time, you know painting our toenails and talking about boys."

"I've never been in a girls' night," I said.

"What?" Alice and Rosalie gasped at the same time and turned to look at me. "No way!"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I didn't really have much girly friends in Forks."

"Oh my God, we definitely need to have a girls' night soon", Rosalie said.

"Yeah, that would be fun", I said. "Not the painting nails part, though, I think that's stupid and I always mess it up and have nail polish everywhere."

Rosalie grabbed one of my hands and eyed my short, scruffy nails shaking her head and then showed them to Alice.

"Okay, this is a nail emergency, when are we going to have our girls' night?" Alice said.

"This Friday?" Rosalie suggested.

"Okay, this Friday it is, right Bella?"

"Right", I said laughing at my silly, lovely friends.

"Hey, that's so not fair!" Emmett said. "Why can't we come just because we're guys? That's called, gender discrimination."

"Haven't anyone told you, life isn't fair," Rosalie said kissing Emmett's cheek. "Besides, you and Edward can have your own girls' night. You can give each other a manicure and dress up in your bunny pajamas. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Hey, I had those bunny pajamas when I was like eight," Emmett said. "And they were blue!"

"He was twelve," Rosalie whispered to me and I couldn't help but giggle a little. Emmett and bunny pajamas were definitely something that didn't seem to belong together.

"Well anyway, we need to go to class", Alice said and stood up. "And Bella, be ready to have the best girls' night in your life."

"That's not much promised, since it still is the first one," Edward said rolling his eyes as we left to the biology class.

We walked towards the class room in a silence. Things were still a little weird between me and Edward. Or I don't know, maybe it was just me, but I wasn't yet quite convinced into thinking of

Edward as just my friend now, even though I tried not to think the fact that we had actually had sex. It was hard. I just so wasn't used to this. When Edward was near to me, I was just so aware of that, it was like my body had been installed to react differently to him.

And Edward – he was really trying to treat me like a friend. And no way was I going to admit even to myself, that I might be a little disappointed that the flirting was pretty much gone. That's what I had wanted, right?

We were at the classroom right in time, when the class was just starting. We took our seats and the teacher started his speech about cells. Basically all I ever remembered about that topic was that plant cells had cell wall and animal cells didn't. So I was trying to concentrate, when Edward nudged me to the shoulder.

"See, pink shirt again," he said triumphant. "Totally gay."

"Come on, you're disturbing my concentration here", I whispered. "The fact if he's gay or not doesn't have anything to do with these cell things."

"You're so right, these cell things doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he's gay." Edward said nodding so seriously that I couldn't help but burst into a soundless laughter. Mike, who was sitting in front of us, next to Jessica, turned and threw an annoyed look to us. Edward smiled at him innocently.

"You're so –" I shook my head smiling.

"So what?" Edward asked and suddenly his face was so close to mine. His green eyes were serious again, their look was so intense, so intimate, and I could even smell his scent, the scent I was so oddly drawn to.

I turned my face away, after I realized that I had accidentally froze staring at his eyes. Gosh, what a jerk he must thought I was. "Nothing." I said lamely, trying to return the light tone of the conversation.

But there was something in his eyes, a little like frustration, and I didn't want to know where that was from. We fell back into a silence and I turned my eyes to the teacher. After a while I noticed that I hadn't heard a word about cell structure but I just kept staring at the teacher.

"You're really interested about this?" Edward asked after a while.

"I see you're not." I said not turning my eyes away from Mr. Banner, even thought I wanted to see the look in Edward's eyes.

"Okay, sorry," Edward said. "I stop bothering you now."

I nodded, not telling him the fact, that he actually wasn't bothering me at all. I couldn't care less about the teaching.

"What are you doing today after school?" Edward asked after a ten minutes of silence.

I finally turned to look at him rolling my eyes. "Have you ever considered that you might have ADHD?" I said rising my brows.

"Oh sorry," Edward said. "I won't say a word – promise." He pretended to zip and invisible zipper in front of his lips and grinned at me.

"It's fine," I said laughing. "I was getting kind of bored with cell structure already."

"Good, so was I." Edward said. "So wanna get out of here?"

"Come on, we can't get out of here in the middle of the class," I said rolling my eyes.

"Uh-huh? We can't?" Edward said and I recognized the mischievous look in his face now. "Watch me."

He raised his hand up. "Yes, Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner, said looking a little stunned.

"Bella and I have to go see the principal. It's a student government thing." Edward said smiling charmingly.

And then he pulled me up and we were outside of the classroom, we got our stuff and were out of the class room before I had even time to notice what was happening.

I shook my head in disbelief. "You didn't just do that."

"Oh yes I did," Edward nodded smiling very smug smile. "So let get out of here before someone notices. To the cliff?"

We started walking towards the front doors. "So tell me how come you haven't got expelled yet?"

"Actually I did once, for a week", Edward said smiling at some distant memory.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised", I said. "What did you do?"

"Alcohol use inside school area during school day", Edward said. "Definitely Emmett's idea."

I opened the front door and stepped outside the school building. "You two are such badasses."

"Nah," Edward said. "We just don't think rules apply for us."

I was about to point out that rules were for everyone and not even Edward Cullen in all his coolness was above them, but after all it would be quite useless.

Soon we were in the small cliff behind the school, that Edward had shown me before. It was weird, how we were sitting there, just like the first time. Everything had changed between us, but still we were sitting here, like nothing had changed. The view was looking still as beautiful and my hair was still dancing in the wind the same way.

"Alice almost fell off the cliff once we were here ditching." Edward told me.

"Oh Gosh, that can be really dangerous," I said realizing that even though this wasn't a big cliff; it wouldn't be fun to fell off from here. "What happened?"

"Well we were thirteen and we thought that it would be fun to ditch and come here to smoke and we were standing there trying to figure out how to use the lighter, when I kind of accidentally pushed Alice and then she almost fell", Edward told.

I laughed at the thought of thirteen year old Alice and Edward at the cliff. "So that's how cool you were back then."

"Hey, don't underestimate our coolness, we were _really_ cool kids." Edward said.

"Yeah, I would never dare underestimate such a thing, sure you were the coolest kids ever." I said thinking how odd it was, that I was able to just casually joke with Edward, after all.

"So tell me something about your childhood now?" Edward asked, looking at me.

"There's not so much to tell", I said. "I didn't do any crazy stuff, never ditched, was always home before dark."

"No way, sure you must have been a very interesting child." Edward said. I couldn't quite tell if he was joking or not.

"Why do you think so?" I asked.

"Because you're such an interesting person now." he said and when I looked at him, his eyes were all serious and deep again.

I felt my heart start beating faster when I noticed how close to each other we were. Our bodies almost touching I could feel the electricity between us. My breathing got heavier as Edward's face moved closer to mine.

His lips brushed against mine. This kiss was so different than the way he had kissed me before. It was gentle, light, almost not kiss at all. And it was totally sober.

"Oh right, sorry," Edward said, turning his face away, "The 'just friends' thing."

"Yeah", I said nodding blown away by the kiss. Or the almost kiss. Or whatever.

"I'm not used to being the nice guy." Edward said in a husky voice. His breathing was heavier than usual too.

"Then why are you being the nice guy?" I asked almost whispering. I was sure that he could hear my heart beating fast in my chest.

Edward thought for a moment. Then he turned to look at me again, slowly. "Because Alice wants me to be the nice guy for you."

"Oh", I said. "That's… good. I mean, yeah, Alice and you have been friends for a long time, you wouldn't want to anger her."

I was trying quickly to tell myself that it was completely ridiculous to thought that Edward was being the nice guy for me, because he actually wanted to be the nice guy for me.

Edward smiled at me a little. "You expected that I would have said something that because I like you, right?"

"No", I said far too quickly.

"Didn't I tell you about my supernatural mind reading talents?" Edward said winking at me. "So don't try to lie to me."

I just shrugged, completely aware that his non-existent mind reading abilities didn't have anything to do with the fact that I was just a bad liar.

"Anyway, don't worry, I do like you." Edward said and I just couldn't figure out the tone of his voice. Sometimes I wished I was the one who could read minds.

The rest of the week went by fast and soon it was Friday evening and Alice was picking me up. I was still a little skeptic about this whole girls' night thing, painting toenails and chattering about boys really wasn't my thing. Or at least it wasn't my thing _before_.

We drove by Rosalie's house and picked her up before heading on to Alice's place.

Alice's room was the perfect place for a girls' night. Everything was girlie and feminine, pink everywhere with clothes and make up in every direction.

"I thought that we could bake strawberry cupcakes," Alice said excited. "Those cute one's with pink icing."

"Sure." I said. At least cooking was something I could do.

"Yeah", Rosalie said. "I'm not good with cooking though."

"It's okay, I am." I said as we moved to the kitchen.

It turned out that neither Alice nor Rosalie had any experience at all about baking, so basically I just told them what to do, while they concentrated more in different things, like the newest fashion and who was dating who.

Somehow we still managed to get the cupcakes ready, and even I had to admit, that they looked really cute with their pink icing and cherry on top.

We took a plateful of our freshly baked cupcakes up to Alice's room and started to do all girlie stuff.

Alice put on some music and then she gave me and Rosalie a perfect French manicure and I found out that this whole girls' night business was kind of fun.

"Okay, wait a sec." Alice said to us with a grin in her face.

I and Rosalie watched as Alice crept under the bed and then came back after a while, with a big grin in her face and a strawberry liqueur bottle in her hand.

"Cool", Rosalie said smiling back at Alice.

"Yeah, I know!" Alice said nodding and opened the bottle. After gulping from it she handed it to Rosalie who in turn handed it to me after she'd taken a long sip from it.

"You know, I think I'm just going to stick with the coke", I said. After last time, I had kind of decided that alcohol wasn't good to me.

"Come on Bella." Rosalie said tossing the bottle on my lap.

"Yeah, Bella, it's alright. There are no guys here, so you're safe," Alice said. "It's purely for relaxing purposes."

I guess she was right. After all, it was just us three and we weren't even leaving her place. And it was just one sip, no big deal. "Well fine then." I said raising the bottle on my lips.

Edward's PoV

I sat at the corner of Jessica Stanley's living room with a bottle in my hand and an extremely bored expression on my face. This party really was boring. Or I don't know, at least I was bored. And a little bit drunk, but obviously not drunk enough. I took another long gulp from my bottle.

"Hi Eddie." Jessica's annoying, drunken voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Don't call me Eddie." I said.

"Are you having fun?" Jessica asked sitting next to me.

"Yeah, really, this party's so much fun." I said so dryly that she couldn't possibly think that I meant it.

"In that case," she whispered leaning closer to me. "We could move upstairs and have some more fun."

"You're drunk", I said.

"So are you," she said in her most sexy voice. And I was surprised to notice, that it didn't affect me almost at all.

"Whatever." I said leaning away from her.

"Well you certainly didn't say whatever to Bella Swan." Jessica said and I could hear the jealousy and anger in her voice.

"Well you're not Bella Swan." I said realizing that oddly enough I would have wanted her to be.

Jessica glared at me with a hurt expression in her face and I realized that it was actually quite mean thing to say.

"You only want her, because she's the new girl. In a week or two you'll get bored with her and then you're going to want me back. But guess what, this time I'm not coming." Jessica said and swept away.

"Whatever," I said. I was drunk enough not to care.

After Jessica had disappeared from view Emmett sat beside me. "Bored, huh?"

"Yeah, might as well go home." I said.

For a while we just sat there, drinking from my bottle in turns. It was so easy to be quiet with Emmett, when we didn't feel like speaking.

"I wish the girls didn't have to have the stupid girls' night thing right now, if Rose was here, I wouldn't be bored", Emmett said.

"Yeah, sure you wouldn't." I said.

"What do you think their doing now?"

"Shut up, Em, you're starting to sound too much like you are in love." I chuckled.

"Hey!" Emmett said turning to look at me so suddenly that I almost dropped the bottle I was holding.

"What now?" I asked.

"I just had the best idea." Emmett said with a mischievous grin in his face. "We're going to go see them!"

"What? The girls?" I said confused. "You know they don't want us there, it's a girls' night, no guys allowed thing."

"Yeah, but we're gonna spy on them," Emmett said excited. "They're never going to know that we were there."

I felt the same grin appear in my face too. I understood that this probably only felt like a good idea because I was drunk, but I didn't care. "Come on." I said and stood up.

"Awesome", Emmett said holding his hand up for a high five. I slapped my palm against his and we left outside.

"Wait a minute", I said when we were outside the house, in the dark night. "How are we going to get there?" Neither of us was in the condition to drive a car.

Emmett looked around, as if to see, if two magic broomsticks would suddenly appear and take us there. "Look." he said after a while and pointed ahead.

I only saw a guy with a motorbike, who seemed to be just leaving. I noticed that it was Jasper, the guy I sat beside in my math class.

"He can take us." Emmett said.

"That's crazy, we barely even know him." I said but Emmett was already dragging me into his direction.

"Hi Jasper." Emmett said and Jasper, who was already leaving, took the motorbike helmet back off.

He stared at us with his other eyebrow up, and I guess we did look kind of ridiculous swaying a little at our places with stupid grins on our faces.

"Emmett, this is not going to –" I started with a little awkward giggle, but he interrupted me.

"Where were you going?" Emmett asked with a conversational tone.

Jasper shrugged. "Kinda boring party, was just going to go home, they're showing Simpsons marathon on TV tonight."

"Good," Emmett said. "Then you're free to come with us."

"Where are you going?" Jasper asked still looking at us like we were lunatics, which I guess we were.

"To a super secret spying operation." Emmett explained like it was the most normal thing to do at 11.40 PM Friday night.

"Right." Jasper said.

"Alice, Rosalie and Bella are having this girls' night thingy," I explained. "And we are bored, so it's only fair, that since they dumped us, we're going to go see what they're doing."

"You know I've never been in a girls' night", Emmett added.

Jasper looked at us for a while, like he was thinking something trough. "Let's go." he said then.

"Cool," Emmett said. "I love you."

"And you're drunk as hell", I added.

We all jumped on Jasper's motorbike, which was kind of difficult, since there were three of us there right now, but somehow we managed to all fit there and left.

Thank god it wasn't a long way to Alice's place, because if we would have had to balance on that motorbike a little longer, someone –in other words me - would have dropped off. But against all odds soon we were at Alice's front yard and Jasper pulled his helmet off of his head.

I handed him the bottle I had been holding. He looked at it for a while, then shrugged and took a long gulp.

"You're more fun than I thought," I said nodding approvingly. However I started to be a little worried about my bottle which was emptying too fast.

Every window was dark except Alice's and we heard a quiet music inside the house.

"Okay, any plan how are we going to get there?" Jasper asked.

Emmett and I looked at each other. "Didn't get to that part of the plan yet", Emmett said.

Everyone was quiet for a moment.

"I know!" Emmett shouted suddenly so loud that the birds from the trees flew off.

"Shhh," Both Jasper and I said at the same time and then all of us bursted into soundless laughter. I handed the bottle back to Jasper because he seemed nice, and not nearly drunk enough.

"Follow me," Emmett whispered and we all tiptoed to the other side of the house. "See," Emmett said pointing to the ladders that lead to the roof. "We can move them. Let's all admit it, I'm awesome!"

"You're awesome." I and Jasper agreed sheepishly. Then we started to move the ladders to the other side of the house.

When we had finally had them standing next to Alice's window, we were all laughing and gasping for air and my bottle of scotch was completely and unavoidably empty. I looked at it disappointed.

"Hey, wait a minute," Jasper said. He went to his motorbike and came back soon with another bottle, which was totally full.

"Yay!" Emmett said taking the bottle from Jasper. "I could kiss you."

"But don't anyway," I said taking the bottle from him. "Let's go then. I'm going first." I took a long gulp, handed the bottle to Jasper and started to climb up the swaying ladders. Jasper and Emmett followed right behind me.

The girls had curtains halfway pulled in front of the window but when we twisted in the most difficult positions and moved the ladders a bit, so that they were even more unsteady, but we could see inside.

"They're singing karaoke," Emmett said.

"Drunk," Jasper added.

"With they're knickers on." I said.

We all looked at each other's at the exactly same time. "Cool!"

I took another look inside the window. Bella was wearing light blue mini shorts and a white top. She was singing completely out of tune.

"_You drive me craaaazy, I just can't sleep, I'm so excited I'm in too deeeep_", she was singing and Alice and Rosalie were doing some kind of dance moves on the background.

"If we had known that girls' nights were so much fun, we would have definitely arranged some, right Edward?" Emmett whispered. And we were laughing again, but that almost caused us to drop off from the ladders so we had to calm down.

"Rose's so hot." Emmett said. I looked at Rosalie who was wearing pink t-shirt that didn't even cover her bellybutton and black knickers.

"Bella's hotter," I said not even thinking what I was saying.

Emmett threw a curious look at me. "She definitely is not."

"Yes she is actually," I said. "What do you think Jasper? Which one is hotter?"

"Alice," Jasper answered without even thinking. I raised my eyebrows.

"Hey, look, they're leaving!" Jasper said, probably just to get our attention away from him. But it was true; they were leaving the room, after the song had ended.

"Where do you think they went?" I asked.

"Hey, let's get in!" Emmett said. We looked at each other and wide smiles appeared at our faces at the same time.

After a few minutes of pushing and pulling and a few times that we almost dropped off the ladders we were finally inside the room.

"I've never been in Alice's room before", Jasper said looking around.

"I practically grew up in Alice's and Emmett's rooms", I said. And it was true; I knew every inch of this room.

"Shh", Jasper said suddenly. "Do you hear that sound?"

I and Emmett listened for a while. Someone was climbing up the stairs. "They're coming back!" Emmett said panicking.

"Oh fuck! We have to hide," I said.

"I'm going under the bed," Emmett said and practically swooped under the bed.

"Quickly, to the closet." I whispered pulling Jasper with me.

Even though Alice's closet was the biggest I had ever been in, it was so full, that we almost didn't fit in. Exactly the same time I closed the closet door, Alice opened the door to her room.

"This night's so much fun," I heard Bella giggle. "Can we sing some more Britney Spears?" I smiled at her silly, cute drunkenness.

"Sure." Rosalie said and I was just starting to think that maybe we could make this without them noticing that we were here, until I heard Alice's voice.

"Emmett McCarty, what the hell are you doing under my bed?"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I really liked writing this chapter, hope you like reading it :)  
****Thank you D_anielleHalford_, _cassiecat97_, _loutombeth2619_ and _GreenConverse23 _for your reviews, you guys make me smile!**

Chapter 8

Bella's PoV

I was sitting at the edge of Alice's bed, laughing at something that Emmett was saying, though I didn't really have any idea about what he was saying. It was 3 A.M. and somehow after we had found Emmett under Alice's bed and soon after, Edward and Jasper hiding in her closet. We'd yelled at them at being such jerks, but we had ended up all sitting on Alice's bed emptying all the bottles we could possibly find in the house.

So much for the whole 'no alcohol' for me thing.

This whole night had been pretty weird. We had gone from cheery girls' night to drunken karaoke to random hanging out during just few hours.

"You know maybe we should go to sleep." Rosalie said yawning.

"I'd sleep with you anytime, baby." Emmett said winking at Rosalie.

Rosalie smacked Emmett on the shoulder but Emmett grabbed Rosalie's hand and then followed a short wrestling/make out session that almost ended up dropping us all on the floor. Alice's bed sure was big, but for six people it was actually pretty tight, but somehow we all managed to fit on there.

"Rose is right, I'm tired." Alice announced and laid on the bed next to me.

"Me too," Edward said lying beside Alice.

"And me," I said trying to fit somewhere between them two.

"And me." Jasper said.

Rosalie and Emmett didn't say anything, because they were preoccupied with something else.

And in about ten minutes we were all fast asleep.

I opened my eyes and realized that Edward's face was only few inches away from mine. I was practically laying half on top of Edward and half on top of Alice. It wasn't the most comfortable position. Edward's hand was lightly around my shoulder and our feet were touching each other. I guess we had moved closer to each other while sleeping. I tried to ignore the feeling our closeness send trough my body.

I tried to pull myself up without waking up the others but apparently it didn't succeed because Edward opened up his eyes too and looked at me lying beside him with a horrified expression in his face.

"What happened?" Edward whispered and I realized what this situation must have reminded him from. "Oh." he said then when the last night's memories apparently got back to his mind.

"Nothing happened." I assured.

"I know." Edward said quickly.

"Except you hiding in Alice's closet." I added chuckling.

"Yeah." Edward said smiling.

We finally got up and out of the bed, though I couldn't help but wonder how the hell we had managed to have six people sleeping in it. Rosalie and Emmett were sleeping cutely hugging each other and Jasper and Alice were somehow tucked themselves behind me and Edward.

We looked at the four of them with little smiles on our faces.

"They sure look really cute." Edward said amused.

"Yeah, they do." I nodded.

"So, sorry about yesterday." Edward said.

"About what?" I asked confused.

"Well sneaking in Alice's room and ruining your perfect girls' night." Edward explained.

"Oh that," I said. "It's okay, you didn't ruin it."

"Good," Edward smiled at me. I couldn't help but love his smile. "So do you want some coffee or breakfast or something?" Edward asked looking a little unsure and lost.

I felt myself suddenly oddly shy too, being alone with Edward. That was weird because, well it's not like we haven't been alone before. "No, I… I don't want to eat anything," I said. "I'm not actually feeling very good." I added realizing that it was true. My head hurt a bit and my stomach felt a little nauseated too. Well I guess I did drink quite much last night.

"Me too." Edward said smiling sympathetically to me. I wondered why he was being so nice to me.

We stood there quiet for a moment, in the middle of Alice's bedroom and I felt a little surreal.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower," Edward said. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay." I said.

When he was gone, I sat in Alice's chair and started to glance trough one of her many fashion magazines. I jumped a little when the door opened again and raised my eyes from the magazine.

I think I kind of forgot to breathe when I saw Edward. He was only wearing a towel around his waist. His bronze hair was wet. I couldn't stop staring at his bare, still a little wet chest.

I didn't even fully notice that I had stood up and put the magazine back to Alice's desk. I took a few steps closer to him and then he was so close to me again, staring right back to me.

I tried not to think about the fact that he wasn't wearing anything else than the towel, because it made me feel more than a little dizzy.

Edward raised his still a little dump hand and touched my chin lifting my face slowly up so until I was staring at his eyes.

His eyes were filled with something that I thought was… well desire. And this time I was sure that my eyes were filled with the exactly same feeling.

I lifted my hand up and placed it on his bare chest. I could feel his heartbeat under my palm. In this moment the world consisted only me and Edward and for once I didn't feel like a young and inexperienced girl. I felt more like… like a woman.

Edward took a long breath, like he wanted to inhale my scent. I moved my hand really slowly on his chest.

He bent down to kiss at me.

And then he stopped. Suddenly he moved a little away from me and the moment was over. I felt like the inexperienced girl again.

"What the hell are we doing." Edward said, slowly, quietly. And I knew that he didn't mean just this time, he meant this whole thing between us. The thing that had started from the very first time I had set my eye on him.

"I don't know", I whispered. I bit my lower lip trying to even my breath, trying to make sense of my thoughts.

"I think I'm going to take a shower too." I whispered and left as quickly as I could. I thought a cold shower was just the thing I needed.

After a long shower I finally get back to Alice's bedroom (I made sure to put all my clothes back on before). I was relieved to see that everyone else had woken up too and I felt a lot better already.

"Morning, Bella." Alice said smiling when I came into the room.

"Morning." I said to them all, being careful not to look at Edward's direction.

"So anyone want to have some breakfast?" Alice asked.

"Yeah," Emmett said, "I'm starving."

So we headed to the kitchen, but after a while realized that there really wasn't anything that could have been used as a proper breakfast so we decided to go out.

"I know this great pancake bar just a few minutes' walk away," Alice suggested, and after locking up Alice's house, we were on our way.

By the time we had our huge piles of delicious looking pancakes with maple syrup in front of us, everyone was chattering gladly.

"Last night was pretty much fun after all." Rosalie said cutting her pancake.

"Yeah!" Emmett agreed, "That was the best girls' night I've ever been at."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at Alice and me. "Guy's can be such idiots sometimes. Hiding up in closets and stuff…"

"But you still had fun," Jasper said smiling. He had been pretty quiet this morning but I guess it wasn't any wonder, since he didn't know the others so well.

"Yeah we did." Alice said grinning at Jasper. Jasper immediately answered to Alice's smile. "I would just want to know whose idea it was to sneak in my room in the middle of the night."

Edward threw a meaningful look at Emmett's direction, who was chewing down a stack of pancakes. "You really have to ask?"

"Well you're not that much better yourself," Alice pointed out. "I could tell things about him that would make you terrified." she said to the rest of us.

"Sure you could", Edward said grinning. "And I could show them the pictures of you in that party when you –"

"Shut up Edward", Alice said pulling Edward's hair. "You should be careful around me. Don't forget that you still broke into my house, I could sue you if I wanted to."

"But we both know you'd never do that, darling." Edward smiled patting Alice on the head.

It was already afternoon when I got back home. It didn't really surprise me that neither Sue nor Charlie were home. I threw my bag at the corner of my room, grabbed a book and curled up on my bed to read it.

Soon I realized that I really wasn't in a mood to concentrate on a book so I grabbed an unfinished homework and tried to get it ready for a while.

Until I noticed that I really wasn't in a mood for homework either.

I turned on my computer to check my email. After reading a mail from mom and realizing I hadn't understood a word about it I had to admit it to myself. I hadn't been able to concentrate on anything because Edward's… well because Edward's wet, almost naked, except the towel body so close to me.

Yeah, this was bad.

Deciding some fresh air would help I switched off the computer, grabbed my cell and keys and left for a walk.

Outside it was a sunny Californian afternoon. I had slowly, gotten used to the sun that was so different than back in Forks. I used to really like Forks' weather, the clouds and rain felt familiar, comfortable. And the weird thing was that I had actually learnt to like California weather too. As I walked along the sidewalk the heat felt nice on my neck and shoulders and with the occasional breeze that was nicely refreshing too. The sound of the cars was mixed with the voices of playing kids and their parents. I only past a couple of people as I walked. Right now the world seemed kind of peaceful.

Though it wasn't quite the same for what was going on inside my head, there was no peace there.

Typical, Edward was messing up my mind even when he wasn't with me. I couldn't stop thinking about our little scene at Alice's bedroom this morning. What had it meant? What did this all mean? Where were we going? Where were we now?

The questions wouldn't leave me alone. And I didn't have answers to even one of them. I only knew that I wanted him. So much it scared the hell out of me.

So at first I thought I was hallucinating when I saw Edward walking straight towards me. But he seemed just as surprised to see me so I decided that maybe he really was there after all.

"Hi." Edward said smiling at me.

"Hi", I said. "What are you doing here?" I asked a little stupidly.

"Um, I'm walking," Edward answered. "You?"

"Yeah, walking also." I said, not quite believing that just a second after I had been thinking about him now I was in the middle of this stupid, awkward conversation with him.

"Good", Edward said and his voice was a little odd. "I mean… nice that I bumped into you, I really wanted to see you."

"Really?" I said feeling a little stupid that my heart did that jumping thing when I heard his words. He wanted to see me? Why?

"Yeah, I was thinking about you." Edward said his voice changing a little into a deep low whisper. I knew that he was thinking about that… _thing_ in the morning too.

"I live just near here", I said, then realizing that he knew exactly where I lived. "You could come over… or something." I invited feeling myself like a total idiot.

"Okay", Edward said as his brows went up. I realized how it must have sounded, me inviting him to my place but I hadn't meant it like that. I'd just started to feel stupid just standing there in at the middle of the street.

But now I didn't have any choice so I just lead him the short walk to my house. We didn't speak anything before we were inside.

"Do you want anything?" I asked heading to the kitchen. "Coffee? Coke? Juice?"

"Coke is fine." Edward said and sat at the drain board beside the fridge. I handed him a coke and took one to myself.

"It was nice of you to invite me over." Edward said pulling my hair gently. I felt his fingers brush my neck lightly and it send thrills trough my body.

I couldn't figure him out. One moment he was treating me as casually as Alice or Rosalie and the next he was all flirting and games again. It was like he constantly kept me on my toes. That or maybe I was constantly keeping myself on my toes by over-analyzing everything he did.

We sipped slowly on our cokes for a while, and I was thinking how surreal this situation was. Me and Edward in my kitchen, drinking coke, for no particular reason.

"Bella, we should talk." Edward said softly, in an intense voice.

"About what?" I said, like I hadn't been thinking the exact same thing.

"About you and me." he said. I noticed he didn't say us.

"Right." I nodded. He didn't say anything so I felt like he wanted me to go on. I continued even though I didn't have any idea what to say. "I – I don't really know where we are and what's this… thing between us. I mean if there is anything, 'cause I'm not like suggesting that there even is thing between us, I just don't know…"

I ended my nervous speech and glanced at him under my lashes. He was looking at me with a smile on his face that made me nervous.

"Well this _thing_", Edward said pulling himself closer to me. "What would you want it to be?"

"I don't know." I almost whispered. Suddenly I didn't want to be here, talking about feelings and things and what would happen. "And you?"

"I want you," Edward said in a way that made it clear in what way he wanted me. I felt my cheeks turn embarrassingly red. "But Alice says that I'll just end up hurting you."

"Will you end up hurting me?" I asked.

"Maybe", he answered. Not saying that he'd wanted to hurt me or that he didn't care about it, just telling that it was a possibility.

_I want him too_, I found myself thinking.

"I'm not really a relationship kind of person." Edward said.

"Neither am I." I said even though I knew that he meant it in a completely different way than I. My eyes met him and then he pulled me closer to him. Slowly, looking at me, and seeing my reaction he pressed his lips gently against mine.

First he was kissing me gently, pushing me against his body. The touch of his lips sent a sweet sensation through my body and I found it impossible to think at all. His hands were wandering around my body and after a while he slipped one of his hands under my t-shirt and slid it against my back.

Now I knew exactly where this was going but I didn't have any intensions to stop it. I _wanted_ him. So much that it almost hurt. And I knew that I probably should have pulled myself away from him, but I just couldn't. I literally couldn't.

But apparently he could. After a while he pushed me just a little bit away from him. His breathing was as heavy as mine and I could see that it wasn't easy for him either to push me away. He still kept hold of me but he bent his head backwards so that he could see my face.

"Bella I… I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be." I said. I got the feeling that despite being so different, for once we felt the same. We were both in the middle of this strange mixture of feelings, without any idea what the hell we were doing.

"Okay," Edward said, still moving away from me. "I think I should be leaving."

"Why?" I asked wondering why he was leaving now, only I a moment later he had said he wanted me.

"You need to think this through." he said. I understood that he was giving me a change to back off.

"It won't change the way I feel." I said ignoring the fact that I didn't know how I felt.

"I'll see you later." he said and then he was out of the door, living his half empty coke and a frustrated feeling in my chest after him.

Edward's PoV

"I need a drink." I said, rushing past Emmett and into his house.

I headed right for their bar table, poured myself a scotch and took a long gulp from it.

"Did you just came here for a drink or did you want to talk to me too?" Emmett asked walking after me.

"Yeah," I answered emptying my glass.

Emmett poured some more scotch to it and handed it back to me. "Now. Speak."

"It's Bella." I said finally.

"What's up with you and her anyway?" Emmett asked. "Seriously, dude. It's weird."

"I just didn't screw her," I told him, "Even though she was completely willing."

"What's wrong with you?" Emmett said not asking what had happened. "Go back and do it then."

I just rolled my eyes and took yet another sip from my glass. Emmett poured one for himself too.

"So why didn't you screw her?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"Man you're fucked up." Emmett laughed. I couldn't help but agree with that.

"So what do you want from her?" Emmett asked. "Is it just the sex or are you really falling for her?"

"Gosh no," I said horrified by the idea. "Me falling for a girl? No way!"

Emmett chuckled. "You almost scared me for a while."

I almost scared myself for a while.

"So it's not any relationship kind of thing?" Emmett assured.

I shook my head. "No relationships for me, that's too serious business," I said. "Just like we promised when we were thirteen, remember? Until you betrayed me with Rose."

"It was unavoidable," Emmett said like he had said so many times before. "That's what you call chemistry. Maybe you and Bella are unavoidable too."

"Maybe." I said not really thinking that way. Well yeah, there certainly was some chemistry between us too, even I couldn't deny it, but I really didn't believe in the whole destiny crap.

"So what does she think about it?" Emmett asked.

"Doesn't seem to care about the relationship things that much either," I said.

"Well that's good, right?" Emmett asked. "Then go for it."

I shrugged. Maybe I should. I wasn't sure why I hadn't just let things go the way they would have gone if I hadn't stopped it. It just didn't feel fair to her; I guess we both needed some time to sort this out. Or at least she did, I had the feeling that for her wanting me was more difficult than for me wanting her. At least Alice was right with the innocent and less experienced thing.

I realized that Emmett was looking at me, waiting for me to say something, but I had just kind of got caught up in my thoughts.

I placed my empty glass on the table. "Anyway, I gotta go now. See you later."

"Oh but one more thing," Emmett said. "You might not want to mention this to Alice; I think she's a little protective when it comes to Bella. I think that she thinks you're not good for her or something."

"Yeah", I said. "That's probably true."

I didn't want to get Alice upset with me, I really didn't. But the thing was that sometimes Alice thought that she was the only one who knew what was best for whom. Of course she only meant good but this wasn't up to her. This was up to me and Bella.

But anyway I agreed with Emmett, I didn't want Alice to know about this whole thing, at least not for now.

I left from Emmett's house back to my place trying hard to think about something else than this whole Bella mess. It wasn't like there was nothing wrong with thinking about Bella; it's just that I didn't think it was healthy to get yourself too much wrapped up around one girl. I mean for example look at Emmett, he's so wrapped up around Rosalie's finger, it's like his life depended on her. That's way too scary for me.

Bella's PoV

Monday at school I realized that during our weird drunken girl's night thingy something had changed. Somehow Alice and Jasper had got closer; they seemed to have something that resembled a friendship now.

I think they were kind of having a moment at Monday morning when I ran into them before the first class. Jasper was looking Alice in the eyes and they were kind of smiling, just a little, like they had some secret only they knew.

Even Emmett and Edward seemed to be buddies with him now.

At the beginning of the lunch break I and Rosalie finally cornered Alice and asked her about Jasper.

Alice just shrugged with a little grin dancing on her lips. "There's really nothing to tell about that subject."

"You like him." Rosalie said. It was obvious.

"He's a cute guy," Alice said. "I don't know if he's my type though."

"Then what is your type?" I asked.

Alice shrugged again biting her lower lip. "I think he's a little too nerdy. And his clothes are way too shaggy. And he doesn't seem to care about fancy cars, he drives a freaking motorbike."

"Now you're just trying to pretend that you don't have a major schoolgirl crush on him," I pointed out.

"Yeah, and the fact that he rides a motorbike is really turning you on," Rosalie added with a wink.

Alice playfully slapped Rosalie on the arm. "If we're starting the dirty talking now there are many interesting facts about your and Emmett's sex life I could reveal to Bella." Alice said eying Rosalie meaningfully.

"Hey, I never told you anything about my and Emmett's sex life." Rosalie complained.

"Oh yes you did," Alice nodded. "Remember the time when we snuck into the bar with the guys couple of months ago. You probably don't remember any of it but after like half a dozen martinis you were very eager to tell me everything."

"Oh gosh," Rosalie shook her head. "How come you remember it then? You drunk at least as much as I did!"

"Anyway," I interrupted them before they got too sidetracked. "I think he likes you."

"Well I do like him too," Alice said. "I just don't know if it's going to work out. But I don't know, we'll see about that."

"The guys are coming," Rosalie nodded her head towards Edward and Emmett who we had been waiting for. "Let's go to eat, I'm starving."

Just as the boys joined us Jasper walked past waving a little shyly at Alice.

"Hey Jasper," Emmett called out. "You wanna eat with us today?"

Jasper shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

We all went towards the cafeteria which was already filled with chattering and laughing students. Edward was walking next to me and he looked me straight into eyes and I felt my knees get a little weaker. He gave me a small smile, almost not smile at all. I answered to it and it made me feel something… hope maybe. Because the fact was that even thought I could try to deny it I had accidentally learned to really like him, so maybe, just maybe, this would all work out, you know, somehow.

**So be sweet and leave a review. Seriously, I live on reviews!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: _LilCullen454_,_ twimad13_,_ cassiecat97_,_ Twilightaddict_,_ loutombeth2619 _and _DanielleHalford _thank you for your wonderful reviews once again. And thanks to all my other readers, just so you know: you're all awesome!**

**Yay, here's the next chap! :D I'm really waiting to hear what you think about it!**

Chapter 9

Bella's PoV

It was Monday evening and I was alone in the house. Charlie and Sue had gone to eat out; they had asked me to join them but I'd said that I was a little tired and anyway, I needed to do my homework. I didn't mind being alone here though; it was nice to have a moment of peace and quiet.

I was tapping my pen against the table, trying to think of something smart to say in my English essay.

After a while of thinking I placed my pen on the paper and started to write. For a while the only sound in the whole house was the pen scratching against the paper. But then it mixed with another sound - a rhythmical tap on my window. I stood up and walked over to the window.

I guess I wasn't really surprised when I saw Edward grinning under my window with a handful of pebbles in his hand.

I sighed and opened the window. Edward climbed in along the tree that was luckily growing just outside my window.

"Hi." Edward said when he finally stood safely on my floor.

"Do you have an obsession for climbing in other people's windows or do you do that just for fun?" I asked innocently. I hated the fact that I liked that he had come. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I liked to think it was just the fact that he had interrupted my boring homework evening.

"Just for fun I guess". Edward said coming closer to me. He smelled like scotch, soap and… Edward. He didn't seem drunk though. Right now I probably actually seemed more drunk than he, sniffing him like an idiot. "I have to admit that it's pretty fun climbing up in your window."

"I don't know why." I said. I really didn't. It didn't make any sense to me, we were so different and even if I was a little interested of him for some bizarre reason, there wasn't anything that could interest him in me.

"I find you interesting." Edward said like he had guessed what I was thinking. Sometimes I wondered if he really was a mind-reader. Sometimes, when he looked me in the eye it felt like he saw too much, like he could really see inside of me through my eyes. I didn't like it.

He was still coming closer to me and I didn't back away like I should have. Actually I found myself stepping closer to him too. He was looking in my eyes again.

"Edward," I said my voice a little weak and broken, he was so close. "Why did you come?"

"For this." He said. Then he grabbed me and placed a perfect, little kiss on my lips.

"Oh," I whispered nodding.

"And for this." Edward said, pulling my body against his and kissing my neck gently. It was almost ridiculous how strongly my body reacted to his touch. But I didn't find anything amusing in this scene.

"You want me to show you some more reasons?" Edward whispered his lips an inch from my ear, his voice all low and sexy. I hated how much even his voice turned me on, it was embarrassing. Or it would have been embarrassing if I wouldn't have been too full of other emotions to notice.

"Mmmh." I nodded.

I knew that this was not wise. I knew all the arguments. that I shouldn't have done this. But then again, I stopped caring about that a long time ago.

Edward placed one more, this time a harder kiss on my lips and then he pushed me towards the bed. He pulled my shirt off gently and then looked at me for a while. I almost didn't feel shy at all. My hand reached out and pulled him closer to me. So close that I could feel the same tension in his body.

He let his hands slide all over me and it made me tremble under his body. He kissed me long and hard, and I gave up even trying to form any sensible thoughts.

And then he _did_ show me some reasons.

Edward was drawing circles with his index finger on my back. We had been lying like that for a while, both on our own sides of my bed. Neither of us had said anything. What had just happened, it was… incredible.

But still, it shouldn't have happened. Not that I regretted it, because I couldn't ever regret the moments I've just spent with Edward even if I really tried to. But it was just something so different, this time I couldn't blame the alcohol or even Edward, because embarrassingly enough I had been more than willing.

I turned around to face Edward, pulling the cover up. Edward looked at me with a little hint of a smile dancing on his lips.

"Bella, you are _good__._" Edward said and swept one tress of my messy hair behind my ear. I blushed immediately into an attractive shade of bright red. My stupid veins. I didn't know what to answer to that.

"Edward," I started, preparing my lie. "I'm sorry, but maybe what happened just now… well maybe it shouldn't have happened."

"You really feel that way?"

"No."

"Good", Edward said. "Because I don't either." Well that wasn't a surprise.

Edward sighed and rose up to his elbows. "Don't worry too much, Bella. It's just sex, after all, nothing to freak over."

"Right." Just sex - exactly something to freak over.

However I didn't have time to freak over anything because just at that moment I heard someone opening the front door downstairs and coming inside the house. Sue was laughing at something that Charlie said.

"Oh Gosh!" I whispered. "Is it so late already?" I said trying to not panic about the fact that my dad was downstairs and I was naked with Edward in my bed.

"I take that's a sign for me to leave." Edward chuckled while pulling himself up.

"Not funny," I said picking my jeans up from the floor. "Do you get that that is my _dad_ downstairs?"

"Bella?" Charlie called.

"I'm doing my homework, dad." I said blushing again. Some homework.

Edward had gotten his clothes somehow on and I was practically pushing him towards the window.

"Bella," Edward said clearly finding something amusing from the situation. "Why would your father even come to your room?"

I hadn't exactly thought about that, but even having my father in the same house when we'd just… it was awkward.

"See you, Bella." Edward said and then he pulled me once again close to him for one more breathtaking kiss before he was gone, disappearing into the night.

I sat on the chair in front of my desk. I felt so confused, so different. It was like I didn't even know myself anymore. Since I've moved here, since everything had changed. I was like a complete stranger to myself. I had never been _that girl_ before. Someone to jump in bed with a guy who she hardly even knew. Just because she _wanted_ him.

It's just sex, Edward had said. That was the problem, I never thought I would ever want _just sex_.

I had thought that someday I would maybe fell in love, find someone who I really cared about, and until then I didn't mind being alone. I had surely had crushes before, but they had all only lasted for a while and nothing had really ever happened. But this was so different. With Edward, there was so much more. With Edward, I never really knew where we were and sometimes I didn't even care. And I liked not caring. Edward made me feel good and for now I just decided to not think about in what cost.

I spent the night trying to sleep and too soon it was morning already and I had to go to school again. I mean, honestly, why did school have to start so early?

I was just walking to my English class, still half asleep and maybe that's why I almost hit Mike Newton.

"Hi, Bella!" Mike said smile appearing on his face. He didn't seem particularly bothered that I had almost knocked him over. "What's up?"

"Nothing," I said shrugging. "Just going to my English class." I probably sounded like an idiot, but I didn't mind. The way Mike acted was kind of annoying anyway, he was always too-friendly, and we weren't even friends, we hardly knew each other.

"So Bella," Mike started hesitating. "I was wondering if –"

"If what?" I asked impatiently.

"Well I thought if you would maybe," Mike said quietly looking at his toes, "want to go out with me sometimes, or something."

"Go out with _you_?" I asked puzzled.

"Yeah," Mike said smiling a little boyish smile. "Like go see movie or something, you know."

"Oh I –" I was thinking hardly of something to say. I didn't have any idea how to turn down a guy gently. "To be honest with you, I don't think it's a good idea." I sighed.

"Why not?" Mike asked confused.

"It's because," I started slowly making up the words as I went on. "I'm not really looking for anyone, if you know what I mean. I like being single." I nodded seriously, wishing that even though I was like the world's worst liar he wouldn't see through me.

"It's just a date, Bella." Mike said rolling his eyes.

"Well I don't like dates." I said shaking my head feeling more and more idiot all the time. I don't think I'd ever been in a real date before, but at least it was partly true, I wouldn't like going on a date with Mike.

"Well maybe I can change your mind, eventually." Mike said winking at me, patted me on the shoulder and left.

"Doubt it." I said to myself and continued my walk towards the English class. I couldn't understand what Mike could possibly see in me, since I obviously wasn't interesting.

The rest of the school day was pretty much ordinary. The last class was biology with Edward and I felt a little nervous twist in my stomach as I walked inside the classroom. I had only spoken few words with Edward during the whole day. I didn't quite know how to react to him. Something had changed, we couldn't blame last night on alcohol and that had to change something. And still Edward was acting like everything was normal. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

"Hi." I mumbled as I sat next to him.

"Hi." Edward said. He turned to look at me and I couldn't read the expression on his face.

After that we didn't say anything. Mr. Banner started the class and this time I didn't even bother with listening. Edward seemed to be deeply in his thought too. I tried to not look at his direction but it wasn't like I wasn't completely aware of his body against mine. He was only few inches away from me, and it made my whole body tense, even thought I couldn't help thinking how much closer to me he had been yesterday. I bit my lip trying to get the image out of my head. I felt Edward's eyes turning on me, he looked like he was wondering what I was thinking.

I tried to ignore him.

"What are you thinking so intensively?" Edward whispered in my ear after a while - so much for ignoring him.

"None of your business." I whispered back, pretending to keep my focus on the teacher, even thought I didn't even know what the subject was today. I could hear my heart beating in my chest, while Edward was leaning closer to me.

"Don't try to pretend you weren't thinking of last night." he said, his lips an inch way from my ear.

"You don't know that." I whispered. My voice was shaking a little.

"Don't worry, I've been thinking about that too." he said and then he placed his lips on my neck. Just for a second, not enough for anyone to notice anything. But still it was enough to leave me completely breathless.

"Are you completely mad? We're in a classroom!" I said looking at him with a furious expression on my face.

"I'm sorry." he chuckled.

"Don't say you're sorry if you don't mean it." I whispered annoyed.

"Fine, I'm not sorry then." Edward said with a full grin on his face now.

"You're unbelievable." I said.

"And you like it."

"No I don't actually," I said. "I think you're just annoying and frustrating."

"You surely didn't think that last night." Edward whispered, keeping his voice low so that the teacher wouldn't hear.

"That's because I wasn't thinking." I pointed out. I didn't get why my brain always switched itself off when Edward got too close.

"Okay, if everyone would just pay attention for a while now," Mr. Banner clapped his hands together making me jump and look up immediately, "While I'm telling you your next homework, which is a bit different this time."

Edward and I both turned our attention to the teacher as he continued. "You're doing a group project and there's to be four per group. You have two weeks before everyone is going to present their project to the others. I'm going to decide the groups."

He started to list off names, pairing up random people. I only paid attention when I finally heard my own name.

"Edward and Bella you're working with Mike and Jessica." Mr. Banner announced lastly. I and Edward looked at each other and then Jessica and Mike with an equally discontent looks in our faces. I could see that Jessica was sniffing her nose and Mike was eyeing Edward suspiciously.

"Okay, now we're going to raffle which subject you're going to get, each group takes one paper from this box."

Mr. Banner started to walk around in the room and when he got to our place Edward took a small piece of paper from the box.

"Solar system," Edward read aloud. "That's our topic?"

Mr. Banner nodded gladly and went on.

"I don't know anything about solar system," Jessica complained. "That is so boring."

Edward sighed. "Well I think you're going to find out something about it soon enough."

Mr. Banner had finished his round around the classroom and was standing in front of his class again. He started to give strict instructions about our project and I didn't bother to listen. I would forget it all and surely Mike or Jessica would listen anyway.

That was just something I did not need above everything. Worrying about how to get some school project done in time, with Mike, who I had just turned town, Edward who I didn't want to like but who I had accidentally screwed anyway – twice in fact, and Jessica who obviously liked Edward a little too much.

This did not look like a good situation to me.

It was Tuesday evening and I found myself in the middle of a pool party at someone's back yard even though before that day I hadn't had any intentions of ending up here.

It was Alice's fault; she had practically dragged me here telling that I should have some fun too, in the middle of all the schoolwork I'd been doing. It hadn't helped me that I had pointed out that I should do some schoolwork too, in the middle of all the fun. So here I was, trying to gulp down my drink as slowly as I could so that Alice wouldn't give me a new one. I wasn't really in the mood for partying.

And yet almost as soon as we got here Alice had left me alone and now she was sitting on the edge of the pool chattering and laughing with Jasper. I didn't really mind it though, because Jasper seemed to enjoy himself and Alice was in a good mood too. Well it seemed that Alice was always in a good mood but it was clear to everyone that they enjoyed each other's company. And it made perfect sense; they kind of completed each other. Alice was talkative and very determined in what she wanted, whereas Jasper was more quiet and calmer.

But still I felt a little irritated, because I couldn't see anyone I knew here. I had met Rose and Emmett earlier but they had left pretty soon and I didn't know where Edward was, or with whom. I was trying not to think about it.

"Hey Bella!" I heard I voice behind me and after turning around I sighed, little seeing Mike Newton walking towards me.

"Hi Mike", I said already bored.

"Like the party?" he asked in a conversational tone.

"Sure." I said forcing a smile on my face. I hoped it didn't look more like a grimace.

"So nice that we're doing the group project together, right." Mike said smiling at me.

"Yeah," I said dryly. "Nice."

Then neither of us couldn't come up with anything more to say so we just stood there smiling in the middle of the awkward silence.

"So I was just going to –" I said trying to make up some excuse to leave, when I finally spotted Edward near the terrace. "I need to talk to Edward," I said quickly, "See you later."

I could feel Mike's eyes on me, when I left so then I actually needed to go see Edward.

"Hi." I said to Edward who absentmindedly was turning his glass around in his hand.

"Hi, Bella." Edward said looking a little surprised to see me.

"Sorry, I just used you as an excuse to get away from Mike." I said in a low voice.

Edward bursted into a soft laughter, looking at Mike who was looking at us.

"You want me to make it clear to Mike that you're not interested about him?" Edward asked stepping closer to me.

"No, you don't really have to –" I said hastily seeing what he was about to do. But I didn't even have time to finish my sentence, when Edward had already made sure that Mike was looking and then placed his lips gently against my own.

I felt my knees going weak as he opened my lips with his own kissing me so softly and sweetly, like I was the most precious thing in the world. I forgot immediately that he was only doing it because Mike annoyed him, I forgot that we were in a back yard full of people, I forgot everything.

And then it was over, Edward had let go of me and was grinning very smugly.

"Edward, that was really –" I said breathlessly, shaking my head. I looked around to see if anyone had seen us – well except Mike who was walking inside with a frown on his face – since I had only a while back been trying to convince pretty much everyone that I was so not falling for Edward Cullen, that was really not something I wanted people to see.

Only couple of sophomore girls were whispering and eyeing me with a disappointed looks on their faces but no one else seemed to care. Alice and Jasper were too focused on each other to notice.

"You really shouldn't have –" I tried to start again keeping my breath as even as I could.

"I know Bella, I loved it too." Edward said and couldn't keep the grin out of his face.

"I mean, that was really mean," I objected, "And unnecessary. What if Alice had seen, she wouldn't have been that pleased."

"So do you want to find a bedroom somewhere and continue where we left so that you don't have to worry about Alice, or do you want me to get you drunk first and then find a bedroom?" Edward asked, ignoring my ranting.

"You're unbelievable."

"I know," Edward nodded seriously. "You didn't answer my question."

"Fine, I chose the second option." I said rolling my eyes.

"Fine then, let's get inside and find us something to drink." Edward said mockingly and led me inside.

I didn't really mean it, the finding a bedroom part, at least not yet, but the scary thing was that I actually wanted that to happen. I wanted Edward to get me drunk and have sex with me. Yeah, I know, scary. But anyway, did it even matter, we had already done it twice, one more time couldn't hurt.

Inside we sat in one expensive looking couch that was free and Edward got us new glasses full of light pink punch. It tasted sweet, little like strawberries and I was feeling myself a little drunk already and I made a mental note to watch out with the punch.

I didn't know how long we were sitting there alone. We didn't speak much. Edward seemed to drink at least twice as much as I but still he didn't look any drunker than I was.

"I don't even know whose party this is." I said to Edward after a short silence.

"Well this is Angela Weber's house", Edward told me.

"Really?" I asked. I haven't really spoke to her that much but she seemed nice, more like me. Or the me I used to be.

"Yeah, her parents are away this week and Jessica convinced her to have this party." Edward told.

"Well anyway, I think I should get home," I said. "It's kind of late already and I'm tired."

"Bella, don't go yet," Edward said looking weird, I couldn't quite read his expression. "I'm going to get bored if you leave."

"Come on," I said snorting, "Like you couldn't find some other company."

"What if I don't want to find some other company?" Edward said in a suggestive tone.

"Then just be alone." I said standing up swaying a little.

Edward kept smiling. "Bella you can't go."

"You can't tell me what to do." I said, irritated now.

"I just meant that how are you going to get back home," Edward said smugly. "You're not really in the condition for driving and as a matter of fact you don't even have a car with you."

"Right," I said, I hadn't thought that. "Well I'll walk," I said. It couldn't be that long way, only a few miles maybe.

"Haha," Edward said dryly. "Like I would let you walk home alone and drunk in the dark. My gentlemen instincts won't let me."

"Yeah right," I said sarcastically. "You don't even know the meaning of the word gentlemen."

"You may be right but I still wouldn't let you do it," Edward said standing up too. "I can find you a bedroom from one of the many guestrooms and you can sleep there."

"Sure," I said rolling my eyes. "You, me and a bedroom. You would like that."

Suddenly Edward was so close to me. So close that I could feel his breath against my face. "And you wouldn't?" he asked in a low voice.

It was hard to think when he was so close to me, like he was messing up my thoughts on purpose. And anyway, I wasn't in any condition to object. I was tired, and drunk, and I wanted Edward and the thought of his hands on my body made my knees feel like marshmallow.

"Fine let's find a room," I said. "For sleeping." I added so that I wouldn't sound too slutty.

Edward took my hand in his and I was about to object, but then I realized that it actually felt nice and warm on mine, so I just decided that I was too drunk to object on that either.

Everything around me looked blurry and I didn't even pay attention where we were going, until we were at what I guessed was a guestroom filled with a desk and an enormous bed. I lied down on the bed closing my eyes and realizing how tired I actually was. The clock must be well over midnight already.

Edward came next to me and wrapped his arms around me.

Suddenly the bizarreness of the situation hit me and I started to giggle powerlessly.

"What?" Edward asked chuckling now too.

"This is so surreal," I laughed and I couldn't stop even if I tried. "Now I'm going to have drunken sex with you again, right?"

"Only if you want to." Edward whispered in my ear and suddenly his hands were under my little black skirt.

That stopped the laughing.

"That's unfair," I said breathing heavily. "You know I won't say no."

"Yeah." Edward said and placed a row of small kissed on my neck. I turned around to face him. He kissed me straight on the mouth, hard and long and I thought that it was good thing I wasn't standing.

Of course I didn't say no to him.

**So click that review button and make one hardworking writer very happy, right? *puppy eyes* Please?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks a lot to _haleysamantha_, _CassieCat97 _and _Twilightaddict _you're awesome :)**

**I can't wait to hear what you think about this new chapter, so please please review and make me happy! :)**

Chapter 10

Bella's PoV

Taking that I found myself in an alarmingly similar situation I had been only like a few weeks ago, I didn't even panic. When I opened my eyes in the morning I found myself in a strange bedroom next to sleeping Edward Cullen. Naked.

Maybe the reason why I managed to remain calm was that this time I could actually remember last night. Sure I had been drunk, but luckily not as drunk as at the first time. And there was one more difference to the first time.

This time I wouldn't have said no, even if I would have been sober as a… well, sober as the Bella I used to be.

I glanced at Edward who was sleeping next to me on the other side of the bed. He had pulled the cover up to his ears and he was sniffling just a little, like a baby. I realized that I was smiling, thinking how cute he looked. So sweet and innocent. Hah, that was just another proof that looks didn't show everything.

All of a sudden Edward opened his eyes, like he had sensed that I was looking at him. He fluttered his eyelashes for a while and then a grin appeared on his face.

"Good morning," he said. "Glad to see that you didn't run away this time."

"I didn't have time." I mumbled.

"Good." Edward murmured. He reached out his hand and was pulling me closer to him but I turned around to get out of his reach.

"What's the time?" I asked.

"Eleven thirty." Edward said coming closer to me and wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh shit!" I gasped trying to struggle away from his grip. "It's that late already? We're so late from school."

"So?" Edward said kissing my neck.

"Damn Edward, get off of me," I said. "We need to get out of here."

I finally managed to get away from him and jumped out of the bed taking the whole cover with me and wrapping it around my body.

"Come on , Bella," Edward laughed, "Like I haven't already seen you naked, like I haven't actually touched every –"

"Okay, okay I got it," I said my cheeks turning red. "I need to use the bathroom."

I stumbled to the door that luckily led straight to the bathroom, the cover wrapped around me like some kind of toga.

I closed the bathroom door and only then let the cover drop. I was about to wash my face with cold water, when I accidentally happened to look in the mirror. I gasped automatically stepping a step back.

I looked horrible.

My make up was scruffy around my eyes so that I looked more like a panda bear. My hair was sticking out in every possible direction. My eyes looked blurry and freaked out. I _did_ freak myself out. I didn't even recognize me; I looked like a total stranger.

"Who are you?" I whispered to the mirror. The reflection just kept staring back at me.

I had changed so much. Too much.

I thought about the old Bella, the Bella who wore shaggy clothes and spent the evenings reading books at her room. That Bella wouldn't have liked the new Bella, the Bella who got drunk at parties and then screwed Edward Cullen even thought rationally she knew that Edward didn't want anything more than sex from her.

"What the hell am I doing?" I whispered. The reflection didn't have answer to that one either.

I only knew that I was in too deep. I didn't know how I was supposed to figure out this mess but I knew that I could never go back. I could never be the jeans-and-hoodie Bella anymore.

I washed my face, picked up the cover from the floor, took a deep breath and then went back to the bedroom where Edward was still waiting for me patiently on the bed.

I picked up my black mini dress from the floor silently. I dressed up and it looked ridiculous in the bright daylight.

Edward had already put on his black jeans and shirt.

"Edward what are we doing?" I asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Right now we're going home and then we're thinking of something to say to Alice when she asks why neither of us didn't show up at school."

I threw an annoyed look at him. "That's not what I meant."

Edward sat next to me. "Then what do you mean?"

"This whole thing," I said, "Us, I mean, where are we? _What_ are we?"

"Bella…" Edward said frowning.

"What?"

"Do you really have to do this?"

"Do what?" I asked confused.

"Complicate things by talking too much," Edward sighed. "I don't know, Bella. I don't know any more than you do."

I looked him in the eyes. They were serious for once, still a little frown in his face he looked older than usually.

"What we are is… _something_", Edward continued. "Why can't we just see how it goes? Not make everything complicated by overanalyzing."

"But that's not true, Edward", I whispered. "We're nothing. I'm just a girl you like to screw occasionally when you feel like it, right? And I don't want to be that."

"Bella don't be stupid." Edward said looking annoyed. This was probably a familiar situation to him, I found myself thinking. Just another clingy, desperate girl in his bed. And to be honest, I would have wanted to just let it be. Never really talk and let things go as they went. But I really needed to know where we were.

"Of course that's not true", Edward said shaking his head smiling. "It's more like I'm just a guy you like to screw when you feel like it."

I had to smile back at him. I didn't know why, maybe because the ridiculousness of this whole situation, or maybe just because his smile was so irresistible.

"Don't worry too much," Edward said looking at me with his whole expression saying that I was being silly and that he liked me. It surprised me how much I wanted it to be true. "You're such a worrier, Bella."

I shrugged. "Well someone has to be, since you don't worry about anything. You're such an _unworrier_." It looked like the serious part of our conversation was over.

"That's not even a word." Edward laughed and ruffled my hair so that it was even messier than before. He kissed me quickly on the lips and pulled me up from the bed. "I can drive you home."

When I got home I opened the front door of my house a little warily. I was pretty sure that no one would be home at this time of the day, but I really didn't want to bump into Charlie or Sue looking like this, dressed in my rumpled dress, my hair messy and still some remains of my mascara under my eyes.

I was right, the house was empty. After a long, hot shower, a change of clothes and a late breakfast I felt almost normal again.

There was no point going to school anymore so I just grabbed a book and went to the backyard to one of the easy chairs next to the pool.

Almost as soon as I had opened the book the doorbell rung. "Typical." I sighed and went to the door.

As soon as I opened the door a tiny tornado in the shape of Alice swept inside.

"_Where_ were you?" Alice asked walking straight into the living room. "I was so worried when I didn't see you today at school I mean, you _never_ ditch."

"Well I guess I just did", I shrugged.

"Why? What were you doing", Alice asked looking at my old sweatpants and t-shirt with a frown in her face.

"I was sleeping, Alice," I said rolling my eyes. "It was entirely you're fault for dragging me to that party at a schoolnight." And a little bit of Edward's fault too, but I didn't say that aloud.

"Oh," Alice said like she had thought about it just then. "You were sleeping."

"Yeah." I decided not to mention with whom.

Alice sighed giving in. "Fine then. Did you at least have fun yesterday?"

I shrugged again. "I guess so," I said. "Yeah, you could say that."

Alice sat on the couch and I sat beside her. "But how about you?" I asked. "You seemed to have fun with Jasper."

Alice blushed a little. That was kind of surprising because Alice never blushes. "Yeah, you could say that." she said smiling.

"Come on, Alice!" I said frustrated. "Tell me everything."

"There's not much to tell," Alice said smiling. "We just talked."

"You just talked." I said rising my eyebrows.

Alice nodded. "Jasper is nice."

"I know he is," I said meaningfully. "So what are you waiting for?"

Alice was quiet for a moment, like she was thinking what she would say. "You know what you said once, about not doing the relationship stuff?" Alice asked.

"Yeah?" I said wondering what this had to do with Jasper.

"Well I'm not sure I do that either," Alice explained. "I mean of course I had had guys, but not anything serious. And I can see that Jasper likes me. I just think that maybe he likes me _too much_. And I'm not sure if I'm ready for that."

"So let me get this clear." I said. It was so unlike to Alice, this uncertainty, usually she was so sure of everything. "You like Jasper but you think he likes you too much?"

Alice laughed a little looking down at her hands. "I know, it sounds stupid."

I smiled. "Don't worry, I think you're going to be just fine with him." I assured her.

"Anyway, have you heard anything from Edward?" Alice changed the subject suddenly. "I haven't seen him today either."

"No," I said quickly not meeting her eyes. "Why do you ask me?"

"Well I just thought that since neither of you two weren't at school today maybe you knew where he was or something." Alice said innocently but the way she looked at me suspiciously let me knew that she was wondering whether there was something going on between us.

At Thursday after school I got into Edward's car. We were going to Edward's place with Mike and Jessica to start our group project. The atmosphere was quite uneasy; I had the feeling that any of us wasn't really comfortable with this.

Edward drove us to his house in silence. When he pulled in a big, beautiful front yard I felt small butterflies in my stomach. That was the first time I would see Edward's house.

He got his keys and opened the big, white house and let us all in.

I stepped in after Edward and found myself in a big light hallway.

We all walked into the living room after Edward and I saw that he was looking my face to see my expression.

"Wow." I said looking around in the enormous room. I thought that by now I should have been used to these beautiful perfect houses, but Edward's home was gorgeous. Even though it was quite simple, each furniture, every piece of art, everything seemed just in place. "Your house is so beautiful."

Edward smiled. "My mom likes to decorate."

"She's good," I said smiling at him. "It's lovely." And oddly enough I felt at ease here. Despite all the expensive stuff this felt kind of home.

I realized that Jessica and Mike were both looking at us. Mike was looking sulky, probably because he saw how impressed I was by Edward's house. That was irritating, I didn't even get why Mike liked me.

Edward's parents weren't home and the house was empty so we sat at the living room couch and Edward turned on his laptop.

"So does anyone have any ideas?" Edward sighed looking already bored.

"No," Mike said.

"Nope," I shook my head.

"Well actually I think that we should do this kind of miniature model, I saw a really cool instruction online and then we could tell about each planet individually and then print a star chart from the internet and introduce it to everyone", Jessica said smiling at us as she stopped.

"That's all?" Edward asked rising his eyebrows sarcastically.

"No, I think we should also tell some basic information about solar system, just so that everyone can keep up, maybe we could make a some kind of wall poster about that", Jessica said smiling at Edward.

"Right," Edward said.

"I think that sounds good," Mike said smiling at Jessica.

Edward looked at me.

"Yeah, that's cool," I said nodding approvingly. To be honest, I didn't really care; I just wanted to get it done.

Mike and Jessica started tapping Edward's keyboard and chattering about the project and even though I tried to concentrate my thoughts kept drifting away. I glanced at Edward, who was sitting at the other end of the couch. Edward grinned at me and rolled his eyes over Jessica's head. Showing that he was just as interested as I was.

About half an hour later, Jessica and Mike had come up with an exact plan of what we were going to do.

"Okay, so now someone needs to go to the mall to pick up the stuff for the miniature model and then someone can start doing our PowerPoint show so we can get everything done quicker," Jessica said.

"Whatever," Edward said. At least I looked interested but he didn't even bother to pretend that he cared.

"I can do the shopping," Mike volunteered. "Bella, wanna come with me?"

"Yeah, so Edward and I can start the PowerPoint," Jessica said excited.

"Great," I said with a sarcastic fake-smile. Edward chuckled and winked at me over Jessica's head. Mike threw and irritated look at Edward and helped – or practically dragged – me out of the couch.

So I didn't have any other choice than going with Mike and leaving Jessica and Edward alone. Surprisingly it bothered me more than I would have thought. Edward with Jessica. Alone in his house. I felt something that took a while from me to recognize was jealousy. Hot burning jealousy that made me want to turn right up and tell Jessica that I didn't care about the stupid biology project and that Mike and Jessica could do it all alone because I was staying here with Edward.

But I didn't. I walked out of the door and to Mike's car with him. _Edward isn't mine_, I tried to tell myself silently. _He's not mine; I don't get to be jealous_.

"Bella, are you okay?" Mike said looking at me as we got in his car. "You got all silent suddenly." Like I wouldn't have been silent the whole time.

"No I was just thinking," I said.

"Thinking of what?" Mike asked.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "So tell me what we need?"

After about twenty minutes of wandering around the supermarket's crafts department our basket was full of Styrofoam balls, different color cardboards, tape, crayons, string and other stuff Jessica had told us to pick up and we were ready to head to the cash desk.

We got several suspicious looks from mothers that were struggling with their children and shopping carts full of groceries. I guess we did look a little out of picture; two teenagers with a basket full of all kind of weird craft stuff.

Mike tried to keep up the small talk all the way to his car but I was just answering with one-syllable words. He reminded me of a puppy too eager to please and it was starting to irritate me.

When we were back to his car Mike started to drive back to Edward's place and now we were both quiet.

"So Bella, I was just wondering…" Mike started but then stopped like he didn't know what to say.

"Wondering what?" I asked hoping that he wouldn't ask me to go out with him again. I was totally going to have to ask Alice and Rosalie how to turn down a guy properly.

"About you and Edward?" Mike said his cheeks turning red. "I mean… is there something going on between you too?"

I bit my lip and felt my cheeks turning red as well trying to make up and answer. I really didn't know what I should have said to that so finally I told him the thing that was at least true. "Mike, it's really none of your business," I sighed.

He shrugged, his expression maybe a little hurt. "Well if you don't already know, I just thought that I should warn you – "

"Mike, I know," I interrupted him, finally turning my face to look at him. "I really do know."

"Then why?" Mike asked quietly, looking at me. "What is it that you see in him? What does everyone see in him?"

I looked at him guessing that it wasn't the first time he lost a girl for Edward. "I really don't know."

Then we were both silent and I thought that he'd already let the subject drop but after a while he opened his mouth again. "You know he'll break your heart."

I shrugged. I knew it, he probably would. I could try to deny it all I wanted but the truth was, that even thought I didn't know what I felt for him it was already more than what he felt for me.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Mike said a little bitterly.

"I won't," I promised.

After that we didn't talk anything before we were back to Edward's house with him and Jessica. Jessica didn't seem too pleased when we got back; bet she would have wanted to spend some more one-on-one time with Edward.

I was pleased to notice that Edward however seemed relieved that we were back.

We spent the rest of the afternoon searching information from the internet, or trying to figure out how to make the model out of all the weird crafts stuff.

After couple of hours there was glue and tape all over my hands and the whole floor was covered with small pieces of paper and cardboard and tape and various other stuff.

Edward pulled a tape out of my hair laughing.

"Well I never claimed to be good in this," I said sourly. "And besides it was Jessica's idea."

"Don't worry, darling, you look great with glue all over your face," Edward flashed me a flirtatious smile.

"It was a good idea," Jessica said rolling her eyes, probably just to draw Edward's attention away from me. She was so obvious.

"Anyway, it's quite late already," Mike said. "Maybe we should finish some other time."

"Yeah," Jessica said and stood up from the couch. "Yeah, I should go too. But we have still over a week to get this done so we have plenty of time."

"True," Mike said. "Bella, are you coming? I could drive you home."

"Oh," I said looking around. "I think I should help Edward with cleaning."

Mike looked unhappy. "But you don't have your own car with you, how are you going to get home."

"I'll drive her," Edward said looking at Mike not so friendly.

Mike looked at Edward then me and then back to Edward. "Whatever," he said then rolling his eyes.

"See you tomorrow at school then," Jessica said to both of us, but she was looking directly at Edward.

"Yeah," Edward mumbled. We walked Mike and Jessica to the front door. Edward sighed deeply when they had gone. "Finally got away from those two," he smiled at me.

They way he did it, like we had a secret that they didn't know, like we had something special, it made me feel warm inside.

"We should probably start cleaning, we made quite a mess", I said walking back to the living room floor.

"Bella," Edward said and suddenly he was right behind me, so close. "You don't have to clean up, after all you are a guest here", he said wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh come on, stop being such a gentleman, it doesn't suit you," I said. It was so confusing, the way he could be a complete gentleman in one moment and then an asshole in another. Maybe he had a split personality.

Edward laughed softly in my ear and it got harder and harder to resist him but I struggled away from him and started gathering our stuff together in one place.

After a while I noticed that Edward was still standing at the same place looking at me.

"What now?" I said.

"Nothing," Edward said smiling. "You're just so sexy when you're cleaning up."

"Oh come on," I said blushing however.

"What come on?" Edward said walking closer to me with a grin on his face.

"Why can't you ever take anything seriously?" I said and stood up putting the tape and the papers to the couch table.

"Yeah, because cleaning up is so serious business," Edward said.

"That's not what I meant," I said little sourly.

"Then what did you mean," he said and suddenly, before I even noticed what happened I was in his arms again, his face just inches from mine.

"Actually I don't remember anymore," I breathed.

Edward laughed and kissed my neck.

"Edward, I don't think that we should – " I started quickly.

"I don't really care what we should or shouldn't do", he said and with that his lips were on mine and before I knew it I was ripping his clothes of off him so fast that it was a miracle I didn't tear anything apart.

After about half an hour we were laying on the coach and our clothes were pretty much around the room. How did we end up from an innocent homework to this?

We didn't say anything but the silence felt comfortable. Edward had wrapped his arms around me tightly and pressed his lips on my shoulder. The way he was holding me, it was something I had never had before. It was scary how much I liked it, just the way he wrapped his arms around me, like I meant something. It was dangerous to like so much about something you would surely lose at some point.

We both jumped about half a foot in the air when suddenly we heard a car pulling up to the front yard.

"Shit!" Edward said sitting up. "My parents."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I whispered running around the room trying to put on at least some clothes I could find.

Edward was running around pretty much like me and we had both got most of our clothes on us at the same moment the front door opened.

"Edward?" I heard a woman's voice and a moment later the living room's door opened and his parents stepped in.

Edward's dad was blond and tall and still pretty good-looking. His mother was brunette and absolutely beautiful and I saw that he had got his gorgeous green eyes from her. They were both looking at me curiously.

I was perfectly aware of my messy hair that stuck out at every direction and my blushed face. I slipped my knickers to my jeans pocket as invisibly as I could.

"Mom, dad, this is my friend Bella," Edward said taking a deep breath. "We were doing… a school project."

For a moment we were all staring at each other. Then his father stepped forward and shook my hand. "Doctor Carlisle Cullen," he said smiling politely. "Nice to meet you, Bella."

"Esme Cullen," his mother said then smiling as politely as her husband as she took my hand in hers. "It's always nice to meet Edward's _friends_."

I blushed even more and mumbled "nice to meet you too", not looking at their eyes.

"Would you like to have some tee?" Esme asked smiling. "Or you could stay for dinner?"

Edward coughed. "Actually, Bella was just leaving. I'm driving her home."

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, I have to get home."

"Okay, some other time then," Esme said.

"Sure," I said with a wide smile on my face.

"See you, Bella," Carlisle said.

"See you," I mumbled as Edward led me out of the front door.

"Oh God!" I groaned when we were finally at his car. "That was _so_ embarrassing." I said burying my face in his chest.

Edward laughed a little. "Well yeah, it was a little."

"A little?" I said rolling my eyes. "I'll never be able to come to your place anymore. Do you think they guessed?"

Edward shrugged. "Well it was pretty obvious."

"Oh God," I said again my face still red.

Edward laughed quietly.

"That was so not funny." I said.

"Well it was a little," Edward grinned. "You should have seen your face."

"Oh no." I said horrified. I couldn't understand how he could take it so calmly. If those were Charlie and Sue I would have died.

"Come on, don't take it so seriously, it's no big deal." he said opening his car door.

"No big deal?" I said rising my eyebrows. "That happens a lot to you?"

"Don't be silly." He said and hopped into the car.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:  
_CassieCat97_ thanks! :)  
_DanielleHalford_ thanks for your reviews, both of them! They really made my day. Great that you haven't abandoned me :D And for your question: I absolutely love Twilight and all the things that came with it like awesome fanfiction! :)**

**I'm so sorry, I've been meaning to update this since Monday, but I've just been super busy with school and theatre things and everything that I didn't have any time left. But here's the next chapter finally! Also my beta is abroad and hasn't been able to look trough this chapter so I tried to be extra careful with any mistakes, but let me know if you found any :)  
****I hope you like it and don't forget to click the review button and give some feedback! :)  
Have a nice weekend all!**

Chapter 11

Bella's PoV

"I'm bored," Alice said tapping her foot in time with the music.

"Me too," Emmett said leaning his head against Rosalie's shoulder and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"You get bored too easily," Edward said laughing. He was sitting on Emmett's living room couch next to me, Rosalie and Emmett had filled one big armchair and Alice and Jasper were sitting on the floor, a little apart from each other.

"Oh come on, it's Friday night," Emmett said frustrated. "There's really no good parties around?"

"Well Lauren Mallory's throwing a party again and everybody's there, but Edward doesn't want to go there", Alice said.

"Why not?" Emmett asked. "Is it because you slept with her? Come on, that was ages ago!"

I looked away from him biting my lip. Jasper and Rosalie turned to look at Edward their eyebrows up.

"Thanks Emmett," Edward said dryly.

"Let's play something," Alice suggested quickly.

"Like what?" Emmett asked. "It's almost midnight. We can hardly go out playing football."

"Of course not," Alice said rolling her eyes. "I was thinking about – " she grabbed an empty bottle from Edward's hands and hold it up triumphantly, "Truth or Dare!"

"Oh no," I groaned.

"Oh yes," Emmett grinned.

Regardless my objection after a while we were all sitting in a circle in Emmett's living room playing Truth or Dare. I had never really liked that game, even thought I had only played it couple times in a few rare party I had been in Forks. And I had a feeling that this was a little bit different than in Forks.

Alice was rolling the bottle and after a while it slowed down and stopped pointing directly at Emmett.

Alice smiled. "Truth or Dare, Emmett dear?"

"Dare," Emmett said grinning confidently.

"Fine then," Alice said smiling slyly. "Kiss someone in this room that isn't your girlfriend."

"Oh come on," Emmett said frustrated. "You want Rosie to break up with me or something? I'm not doing it!"

"You know the rules," Alice said winking at him. "You do it or you take off one piece of your clothing. And socks doesn't count."

"Fine then," Emmett said sighing. Then he turned to face Rosalie. "Rose, I break up with you," he said with a sad expression in his face. Then he grabbed Rosalie in his lap, kissed her long and hard and then turned to smile at Alice smugly. "Done."

"That was cheating," Alice said.

"It so wasn't," Emmett said grinning smugly. "You know pretty well that Rose's the only girl in this room I have any intentions of kissing – sorry Bella, you're pretty, but I don't want to steal my best friends girl."

"I'm not his girl," I said blushing.

"Sure you're not," Emmett winked at me and put the bottle on the move again. It almost pointed at me but I pulled Edward, who was sitting next to me quickly in front of me.

"Now that's what we call cheating," Emmett pointed out to Alice happily. "Edward, truth or dare? I know you'll pick dare."

"Fine then, dare," Edward sighed.

"Hmm," Emmett said. "Okay I'm going to start with an easy one here. Just run around this house three times," Emmett said grinning. "Naked."

"Haha, yeah right," Edward said rolling his eyes. "Like I would do that."

"You know the rules," Emmett said doing a pretty good Alice imitation. "You do it or take of one of your clothes."

Edward and Emmett stared at each other for a moment. "Fine then," Edward sighed and took off his shirt, threw it against Emmett and put the bottle on the move again. I caught myself staring at his bare chest just a moment too long.

We played more or less peacefully for a few rounds and I had managed to stay away from the game and trying to be as tiny and invisible as I could, until after Rosalie turned the bottle to point directly at me and Edward grabbed me in a firm grip before I had time to run away.

"Truth or dare, Bella honey?" Rosalie said winking at me.

"Truth," I said under my teeth trying to struggle away from Edward.

"She picks dare," Edward said.

"Okay, dare then," Rosalie said happily.

"Hey, you're not playing fair!" I objected, but everyone just ignored me.

Rosalie smiled. "If you haven't noticed, they're not too keen on playing fair."

I shrugged. "True."

"That's what makes the game interesting," Emmett said.

"Okay, so back to your dare", Rosalie said.

"I picked truth," I said again.

Rosalie ignored me again and went on; "Okay, you have to pick one person to kiss in this room. Blinded."

"This should be fun," Emmett laughed and I smacked him in the arm. Rosalie blindfolded me with her scarf.

"This is crazy," I said but I only heard them giggling around me. Some friends I had. I sighed. Okay, I now I needed some creating problem solving.

Finally I sighed frustrated. I only had one option. "Okay Edward, since you're the only person in this room I could possibly kiss, could you just tell me where you are? Please?"

For a moment everything was quiet. Then I felt him wrapping his arms tightly around me and pulling me in a passionate kiss that made me forget where I was and everything else. I could feel his bare chest against mine and his hands around me and nothing else mattered. When he finally let go of me and gently pulled the scarf from my face, I realized from everyone else's expressions that the kiss had lasted much longer than it should have. Alice was frowning at me and Edward so I just spun the bottle around quickly.

It pointed at Jasper who had been almost as quiet as me during the whole play.

"Okay Jasper, truth or dare?" I asked.

He glanced at Emmett and Edward's faces and then sighed. "Dare then."

I had to think quickly. My dare was pretty simple, but since I was tired of watching my two friends obviously liking each other but not doing anything about it I decided to help them a little. And I also wanted to give Alice something else to think, so that she wouldn't be worrying about me and Edward.

"Jasper, kiss Alice."

Jasper raised his eyebrow. Everyone else was looking me curiously. Jasper moved slowly closer to Alice who was sitting next to him.

He wrapped his arms around Alice slowly, carefully, and then pressed his lips against Alice's. All in all the kiss didn't last that long, but the way Jasper held here, gently, a little shyly, there was something so intimate in that, something that made you want to turn your eyes away.

And then it was over, Jasper let go of Alice, staring into her eyes for a little while. Alice was looking at him dizzily.

When Jasper went back to his own place Alice looked at me.

"You're welcome," I mouthed at her grinning. She rolled her eyes.

And so the game went on, until Edward accidentally broke our bottle by dropping it from the second floor when he was doing his dare to run the stairs up and down three times in a minute his eyes closed.

Next morning I woke up safely next to Alice on Emmett's living room couch where we had fallen asleep last night.

"Hey," Alice said and I jumped a little noticing that she was already awake too.

"Hi," I mumbled and rose up slowly to sit on the edge of the couch. I looked around realizing that Jasper and Edward were sleeping in the living room too. Rosalie and Emmett were probably at his room.

"Did you sleep well?" Alice asked in a muffled voice not to wake up the boys.

"Well, as well as you can sleep in a small, tough couch with a person that is constantly turning in her sleep," I said smiling at him.

Alice flashed me an apologetic smile and we left the guys sleeping and moved into the kitchen.

"So," Alice said starting to make coffee like she was in her own kitchen. "You and Edward."

"What about us?" I asked trying to sound innocent. I knew this was coming at some point.

"What's going on between you two?"

I sat on the corner of the table. "Nothing," I said. I really didn't want talk about this.

"Don't lie to me, Bella," Alice sighed, not angry, just saying.

I was quiet so long that Alice turned to look at me. "Bella?"

"I don't know," I said finally.

"You don't know," Alice said. It sounded like she was a little frustrated with me. Well she wasn't the only one.

"Bella, I thought I made it clear enough to you that – "

"Yes you did," I interrupted her. "I know, Alice. I know."

"Then why?" she asked. This was starting to remind me of the conversation I had had with Mike a while back. "What the hell are you doing with him?"

"Why does it bother you so much?" I asked.

Alice sighed. "Well, it's just that… you're both my friends, and if you end up hating each other, it will make things a little difficult. And I don't want you to get hurt either. You're just so different than he is."

I had to admit that Alice had a good point. It would probably make things difficult for her, if Edward would break my heart. It would make things difficult to every one of us. "It's not like I planned this to happen," I said a little defensive. "It's not like I wanted this. I just couldn't help it."

"That's what they all say," Alice snorted.

"Don't worry, Alice, I try not to fall in love with him," I said. That was really all I could promise. But when I said those words, it hit me. I think I was already falling in love with him. It was terrifying. But I thought that somewhere along this all he had become quite important to me. It was like I needed him around me. I felt good, kind of at ease when I was with him. It was scary, because I knew that he didn't feel like that. He had made it perfectly clear from the beginning that he wasn't looking for anything like that. Well, so had I, but that was so different thing.

"Don't worry, I promise to slap him if he hurts you," Alice grinned at me.

"Yeah, so enough about that," I said changing the subject. "Let's move on to you and Jasper."

"What about us?" Alice said and a wide smile appeared in her face.

"Did you like kissing him?" I said winking at her.

Alice bit her lip grinning. "Well let's just say that he was a pretty good kisser. Well what the hell, he was an awesome kisser!"

"Great," I said so happy for my friend. "You should ask him out."

"I don't have to," Alice said gladly. "He already asked me."

"Oh my God!" I cried jumping up and down. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well I just told you," Alice laughed. "We're just going to the movies tomorrow. Not a big deal."

"Oh come on," I said rolling my eyes. "Not a big deal. Anyone can tell that you like each other."

Alice shrugged. "Let's just make some breakfast."

Soon we were all six sitting at Emmett's kitchen table eating breakfast, much like a week ago. I was surprised how much this felt like home. I had become so close with my new friends so easily, it was almost weird.

Jasper was smiling at me across the table; he seemed to be in a good mood today. Edward touched my hand lightly making chills go all trough my body.

I was back at home after midday and was a little surprised to find out that Sue was home too. I hadn't really seen her much lately; it was like she was never home when I was.

"Hi honey," Sue said smiling at me. "Are you hungry?"

"No, I just ate," I said stepping into the living room where she was sipping coffee and reading a magazine.

"Did you have fun?" Sue asked. I hated it how she tried to be the perfect mother to me. She was probably too young to be my mother anyway.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm going to go do my homework."

"Okay," Sue said as I left upstairs to my room.

When I got there I picked up my cell from my bag. My mom answered almost immediately.

"Hi sweetheart," mom said her voice as delighted and familiar as always. It had been a while since I had talked with her and surprisingly I found out that suddenly I missed her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I said "just got back from my friend's house. How are you and Phil?" My tone changed just a little over the last word.

"Oh, we're fine too," mom said. "Things are more boring though, when you're not around."

"You mean when I and Phil aren't fighting all the time," I said laughing a little.

I could hear her smiling too. "No, it's not like that. You know I really miss you."

"Miss you too, mom," I said. "But I'm doing great here."

"Really?" she asked. "You like it there?"

"I do," I said. It was true somehow.

"So you have made friends?" mom asked.

"Yeah."

"Boyfriends?" I could hear the curiosity in her voice.

"Well…" I sighed.

"Oh!" mom cried excited. "Tell me everything."

"There's not much to tell," I said biting my lower lip.

"What is he like?" she asked.

I was quiet for a while, thinking how I could ever explain to her. "He's nice. I really like him. But I don't know if it's going to work out between us."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated," I said. "It's just – I think I already like him more than he does."

"Oh honey," mom sighed. I could see that she was happy that her daughter finally showed some interest in guys, but she was afraid that I would get hurt. Well so was I. "If he doesn't realize how amazing girl you are, he's not good enough for you anyway."

I laughed. If only it would have been so simple. I talked with her for a while and then hung up.

Just as I had opened a book, I heard a doorbell ringing downstairs. I ignored it thinking that it was probably one of Sue's friend or something.

But after a while I heard her calling my name, so I put the book down and went downstairs.

And to my horror found Edward at the front door talking with Sue. Sue was giggling at something that Edward said and Edward was flashing his charming smile at her.

I marched towards them and crossed my arms across my chest. "What are you doing here?" I asked a little rudely.

"It's nice to feel so welcome," Edward grinned at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Bella!" Sue said. "Don't be rude to your guest. He said that he's your friend and that he came to visit you." Sue gave me a meaningful glance that seemed to be saying 'we're talking about this later' and I guessed that as soon as Sue had me alone I would have to explain her my whole love life. As if.

"Come on inside," Sue said when I didn't say anything.

"Actually I was going to ask if Bella would come out with me," Edward said politely. "We could go to the beach."

"That's a wonderful idea!" Sue giggled. "It's so beautiful day." It looked like she would have wanted to come with us.

"So are you coming?" Edward asked looking at me.

"Well I was planning to do some homework," I lied. What the hell he was doing now?

"Come on, Bella," Sue said. "You can't be sitting in your room doing schoolwork in a day like this."

"Fine then," I said. It looked like I didn't really have a choice.

"Great," Edward said flashing me a smile that was hard to ignore.

Once we were outside our house and Sue had closed the door behind us after waving at us happily I turned to look at Edward my eyebrows up. "What the hell was that?"

"What?" Edward asked innocently. "Just thought I'd drop by to visit, is it illegal?"

I shrugged. "So you've learned to actually come to people's houses by the front door like normal people?" I asked sarcastically.

"Come on, I know that you liked me climbing up your window," Edward said, "It appeals to the dark side of you."

"Right," I laughed. "But honestly, now Charlie's going to think I have some secret boyfriend."

Edward just grinned and we continued walking without really going anywhere.

"So why did you really come?" I asked again.

He shrugged. "I guess I was just bored."

"Just bored," I nodded.

"So now that you're here already, do you want to go to the beach with me?" Edward asked.

"Do I have any choice?" I asked.

Edward thought for a while. "Not really."

"So if I would've said no, you would've kidnapped me?" I said.

"Yeah probably," Edward admitted. "Thought I was counting on that you wouldn't say no."

"Why?" I asked thinking how I had once again ended up in a completely mindless conversation with him.

"Well after all, who could say no to me?" Edward said with a smug smile.

I didn't answer to that one. At least I couldn't, apparently.

Because it was Saturday afternoon, the beach was crowded with families and small children. We sat on a big rock and watched children laughing and playing with their parents and talked about everything normal. I was once again surprised how nice, how easy it was to be with Edward, when it was just us two and when we didn't accidentally end up having sex.

Too soon it was Monday morning again and I found myself trying to keep my eyes open in the English class. Mr. Mason was telling us about different forms of poetry.

"Hey," I whispered to Jasper who was sitting next to me, looking just as sleepy as I was. "How was your date with Alice?"

I hadn't yet have time to ask Alice about it but I was dying to know everything about it.

"How do you know about it?" he asked.

"Alice told me, of course," I said impatiently.

"Oh, I forgot," Jasper grinned. "Girls."

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, tell me already!"

"Well we watched a movie and then I took her for a dinner," Jasper said smiling. "All in all, it was a very pleasant night."

I sighed. I was going to have to get a more detailed report from Alice anyway. "So are you going to see her again?"

"Well, I guess I am, since we go to the same school," Jasper said.

"You know what I mean," I sighed frustrated.

"Okay okay," Jasper laughed. "Yes, I'm seeing her again tomorrow. Happy now?"

"Very," I said grinning.

Jasper snorted amusedly at my excitement. But really, I could see how much Jasper liked Alice. "Really, Jasper, I'm happy for you," I said. "You really like her, I can see that."

"Thanks," Jasper said. Then his expression turned more serious. "I wish I could say the same about you," he sighed. "I know that Edward and I are friends now, but I just have to ask – what's really going on between you two?"

I chuckled a little even though I wasn't really amused. "Well, Alice already asked the same thing and I have to give you the same answer; I don't know."

"How can you not know?" Jasper asked sounding frustrated.

"I just don't," I said stubbornly, not meeting his eyes. "And why do you even care?"

"Well, because I do," Jasper said. "I'm your friend that means I care about you, okay?"

"Okay," I said. "But I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." I was tired of everyone being so protective of me. Okay, I wasn't sure, if I could take care of myself, not when Edward was always confusing my thought only with his presence, but still.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Jasper snapped. "But at least I warned."

"Well, yeah, you did, like everyone else," I said sharply.

Jasper sighed, his expression softening. "Okay, Bella, I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me, I just care about you."

"Okay," I said smiling at him. I didn't really want to argue with Jasper right now.

"Mr. Hale and Ms. Swan," Mr. Mason snapped. "If you're not interested of my teaching, you might as well leave."

"I'm sorry," Jasper said smiling at the teacher innocently. "We're very interested."

Mr. Mason snorted and turned his eyes back to the blackboard.

The rest of the hour I just pretended to actually listen what the teacher said, but really my thought where somewhere else. I couldn't help but wonder once again when I had turned into such a crappy student.

After we got out of the classroom I saw Alice in the corridor and grabbed her arm. "Okay, tell me everything about your date, since Jasper won't tell me any details," I said.

We spend the rest of the break discussing happily about their date. It felt somehow so normal, so girly, something that I wasn't used to.

Edward's PoV

Once again I found myself sitting at the back of the math class and wondering why the hell I bothered with something as useless as school.

Not that I was actually paying attention. I was already sitting nicely in the classroom, but actually paying attention… that was too much to ask.

My mind was wandering somewhere far away from the amazing world of math. Somewhere called Bella Swan. Honestly it was creeping me out, how she always came into my mind in the weirdest moments. And how sometimes I would just want to see her, like I needed her. And it was scary, because I was Edward Cullen, I didn't need anyone. If I hadn't knew myself I would have thought that I was falling in love with that girl. But luckily I knew myself and I knew that I would never allow myself to fall for Bella Swan.

It wasn't just that I didn't want to fell in love with anyone right now. It was also that Bella and I were so different, we wanted so different thing from life that it would never work out between us.

That made me realize all too clearly, that this thing between us two, whatever it was, I should end it as soon as possible. Just because I didn't want to hurt Bella. Because I didn't want to develop any more feelings between us two. I didn't really like feelings.

But still, even the thought of not being so close to her again, not tasting her on my lips again, I didn't want to think about it. After all, who could that hurt, if I could have her for only couple of nights? Nothing more than sex, simple, meaningless…

The bell rung and woke me from my thoughts and I realized that I was once again survived another pointless math class.

When I got to the lobby, it was already full of students slamming their locker doors and laughing and talking. I found Emmett by his locker; he seemed to be locking something deep down in his locker.

"Hey," I said, "What are you looking for?" I asked peeking inside his locker. Seriously Emmett had the messiest locker I've ever seen, it was usually even messier than mine was.

"I've lost my chemistry essay, the one we were supposed to give back last Friday," Emmett sighed.

"Oh, I lent it," I said taking the paper from my backbag, "sorry, I forgot to give it back to you."

Emmett took the paper and tossed it to his own backbag. "Thanks, man, I almost thought I was going to have to persuade Rose to write it again."

I laughed. "Seriously, how do you do that?"

"Well, last time I checked, half of the Huntington High's female population was more than ready to do your homework for you," Emmett said.

"Yeah, right," I said.

"Speaking of which, you could tell me more about one particular individual of Huntington High's female population," Emmett said looking at me meaningfully.

"Which one of them?" I asked grinning, just trying to keep the tone of the conversation light.

"What's going on between Bella and you?" Emmett said his expression turning a little sulky. "And why haven't you told me anything about it? You always tell me everything!"

"Come on, your starting to sound like a girl," I pointed out.

"Don't try to change the subject," Emmett said.

"There's nothing going on between us," I said. I didn't know if I was trying to convince myself more than him, but I just tried to push that thought aside. "You know, except the physical."

"So you don't really actually _falling _for her?" Emmett assured.

"God, no," I said shaking my head. I remembered a conversation I had had with Bella a while ago in Angela Weber's parents guest room. "She's just a girl I screw occasionally when I feel like it," I said shrugging. That's all I wanted it to be, that's all it _could_ be.

"Uh, Edward," Emmett said suddenly looking uneasy.

"What?" I asked.

He nodded his head to point something behind me. I turned around and it took me a while to realize what he was pointing at. Just a little away from us, stood Bella, frozen in the spot and by the expression on her face I could guess that she had heard every word I'd said.

**So please guys, reviews? I need them before I start seriously thinking that my fanfiction sucks :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** _**VioletOD**_, **_Bettyboo23_, **_**LilCullen454**_, _**DanielleHalford**_, _**loutombeth2619**_** and** _**Twilightaddict **_**thank you all so much for reviewing! And also thanks to everyone who put this to their ****favorite**** or alert lists! :)**

**Hope you like this new chapter, I kind of like it :) And please please review, it's always nice to know you guys like this. (And I have a horrible flu, some reviews would really cheer me up :))**

Chapter 12

Bella's PoV

I stood frozen in my place, as his words hit into my consciousness. _She's just a girl I screw occasionally when I feel like it._

It felt like million thoughts went through my mind yet still I couldn't really think anything. I concentrated on breathing.

It was everything I already knew, I told myself. Everything to be expected. I knew how he felt; I reminded myself, I knew what he was like.

And still, it hurt. Hearing the words from his mouth. It hurt more than I had thought it would, it hurt more than I'd expected. I turned slowly around and walked away.

"Bella," I heard him shouting my name after me. "Come on! Bella, listen, I didn't mean it like that. Oh, shit… Bella, could you just – Bella, _stop_."

I didn't even listen to him, I didn't stop. I needed to be alone right now.

I was out of the school building before I even noticed it. I didn't pay much attention to where I was going so I was a bit surprised to find myself at the cliff. The cliff Edward had shown me. Right now it felt like ages ago.

It was good to be alone. I took a deep breath. Then another. Keep calm. Just keep calm.

Only after a while of trying to calm myself I allowed myself to think about it all. How I had gone to the lobby just before the class was beginning, and when I had heard Emmett and Edward talking about me I had just stopped and listened.

But still, it didn't even make sense, why I had freaked out that way. I didn't do that. Espessialy when I had known from the very beginning, how this would end up.

But still, Edward's words keep repeating in my head, over and over again.

"Stop it," I said out loud, and hit the rock, that I was sitting on. To my horror I realized that my eyes were filled with tears.

"You do not cry for that stupid Edward Cullen!" I said to myself firmly.

But the tears bursted out and run on my cheeks. I was surprised how much it hurt. I was surprised how much I liked Edward. And how had this all turned into such a mess?

I wrapped my arms around my legs and pressed my chin against my knees and since I couldn't stop the tears I decided to ignore them and just let them fall.

I didn't get it, why it hurt so much to hear, that after all he didn't care about me at all. I had known it all along, hadn't I?

And still I had let myself fall for him.

Stupid me.

I didn't know how long I sat there. It was one of those times when you didn't pay attention to the clock. And when I didn't cry anymore, when my thoughts were clearer, more rational again, I still didn't feel like leaving. I didn't want to move, because that would mean, that I would actually have to deal with things.

After a while I took my phone from my pocket and realized that Alice had called me five times and texted twice. I decided that it was best to call her back, before she would get too worried.

"Hi Bella, where did you disappear?" she asked and I could hear the worry in her voice.

"I was feeling a little sick, I decided to go home," I said trying to sound as normal as I could.

"Really, are you okay? You don't sound normal. What happened?" Alice asked and I could almost hear her frowning.

"Nothing happened," I chuckled. It sounded more like a hysterical sob. "I'm fine."

"You are not," Alice said. "Tell me. Do you want me to come over?"

"No, Alice, everything's fine."

"Just tell me," she started. "It's not about Edward, is it?"

"No, it's not about Edward, it's not about anything," I said irritated.

"Yes, it is," she objected.

"Oh, Sue's calling me, I have to go," I lied.

Alice sighed. "Bella, you're a horrible liar and you know it."

"See you later, bye bye," I said and hung up. I felt a little guilty for being so rude to Alice, but I couldn't help it.

I sighed and forced myself to get up from the rock I was sitting and to the parking lot. I didn't have any intensions of going to school anymore today, so I just drove home.

I wasn't surprise to notice that the house was empty, Charlie was at work and Sue was probably at some charity meeting or yoga class or something like that. Right now I didn't mind being alone.

When I was finally up in my room, sitting at my bed, I felt kind of helpless, like I didn't know what I should do next.

Now I was almost ashamed of my reaction – it was too strong, I shouldn't have freaked out like that.

I grabbed a book from my desk, laid down on my bed, and for once, just concentrated on the words on the paper and pushed everything else aside.

I didn't know how long I had been reading, trying to push the real world aside, like I used to do back in Forks, when the doorbell rung.

I sighed and went to the door, wondering who the hell it could be since Charlie and Sue weren't home.

I froze when I saw Edward standing there.

Well, I should have seen it coming, I guess.

"What do you want?" I asked, I was pleased to hear that my voice was finally strong and cold – completely emotionless.

"To talk," Edward said.

For a moment I considered slamming the door in his face, but then I shrugged. "Talk then."

He just stared at me for a while. This time I wasn't the one turning my eyes away.

"Bella, I'm sorry of what I said,# Edward said. I didn't mean it, I don't know why I said it, really, I don't think that way of you. Of course, I don't."

"No, it's okay," I said, my voice still casual. I would never show him how much it hurt. "At least I know how you feel now."

"No! But that's not how I feel, if you would just let me explain – "

"But I won't," I said. "I won't let you explain this one, because you know what; I'm tired of listening to your lies. So it would be better if you just leave."

"Well I'm not leaving until you listen to me," Edward said and grabbed the doorknob like he wanted to stop me from slamming the door close.

"Well I'm not listening," I said in a just as irritating tone as he.

"Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?" he asked sounding annoyed.

"Me?" I could hear my voice rising, but I didn't care about that now. How could he be so irritating? "Oh, so now it's me who's being stubborn?"

Edward sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry I said that. Happy now?"

"No, but if you would just leave, then I might be," I said. "I don't need to hear anything you have to say. I've already heard more than enough." My voice was shaking a little. There was a part of me that would have wanted to listen, would have wanted him to talk me over, convince that I was different than all the others. Guess that was the reason I hadn't slammed the door close as soon as I'd seen him.

"Listen, you don't understand," Edward sighed. "It's not like that, it was never like that with you –"

"Shut up," I said. "Just shut the fuck up, I know exactly what it's like; you were only interested of me because I was the new girl, you know; unexamined territory. I was just the same as Jessica or Lauren or whoever."

"You know that they don't mean anything to me," he said. I couldn't believe how I could have been so foolish to not see trough him.

"Yeah, I bet that's what you say to everyone – "

"Now, you shut up," he said. I could hear the anger from his voice. Good, I thought, it was only fair that I made him angry too. "You know, I never thought – "

"Don't you tell me to shut up!" I realized that now I was shouting but I didn't care. I was just so angry. I was so angry for him, for making me care, and angry for myself for caring. "You're just an ass who likes playing with other people's feelings, because you're too selfish, to actually care for anyone. That's why you'll never really fall in love; you'll never find someone who loves you, because you don't know how to love." I didn't really pay attention to what I was saying; I just wanted to hurt him. Hurt him like he had hurt me.

"You don't know anything about that," Edward said, raising his voice too. "You just keep reading your books and you think that's the real life, but real life is not like that. It's not all butterflies and pink hearts and eternal love."

"Well real life is not getting drunk every other day and fucking everything that moves, either," I shouted. "You think I didn't know that I meant nothing to you? Well, I knew it all along."

"You were wrong," he shouted back, his eyes filled with anger. "And I'm sorry I hurt you, but you're just acting stupid – "

"Oh no, you're the one who's stupid," I said, my voice filled with rage. "Don't ever think that you had the power to hurt me. You don't mean anything to me, just like I don't mean anything to you. And hey, I have an idea, let's keep it that way!"

"Don't lie to me," Edward said laughing even though his voice wasn't a bit amused. "I know what I mean to you."

"You don't mean anything," I said quietly, my voice crumbling. "Just fuck off, Edward."

He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. We were looking each other in the eye, battling silently. Until finally Edward turned around and walked away leaving me alone with the emptiness and my angry tears.

That night I was lying awake on my bed, the things I had said, and he had said repeating again and again in my head. Hating myself because I couldn't forget. Hating myself for ever wanting him. Hating Edward for… I don't know, being Edward, I guess.

I didn't cry, though. I was just lying awake, silently, forcing myself to forget. It was almost worse than tears.

The way I could almost feel Edward's hands on my body, it was killing me. I had never meant to like him this much, never meant to need him.

It felt like I had laid there forever, motionless, eyes closed; trying to tell my body that it should fall asleep.

Finally I gave up and opened my eyes. My cell phone screen showed 11.30. So not that late after all. I realized that I really wanted to talk to someone. After a while of hesitation I dialed a number.

Jasper answered immediately.

"Hi Bella," he said. I could hear the music and people from background.

"Hi Jasper, where are you?" I asked.

"I'm at this party. I didn't really want to go, but Alice did, so I came with her," Jasper explained. "And now she disappeared somewhere and I'm bored."

"Where's the party?" I asked.

Jasper gave me instructions and I realized that it was actually pretty close to our house; so close that I could go there walking.

"Okay, I'll be right there," I said and hung up before Jasper had time to response.

I put on a pair of jeans and a hoodie and didn't stop to think why I was doing this, when I was already out of the door.

It was so unlike me, to just leave to some party in the middle of the night, not even telling Charlie or Sue, but I just didn't feel like being alone and I wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway.

"Hi Bella," Jasper said as soon as I found him at the living room of some stranger's house. He was sitting on the couch between two guys who tried to explain him something. Both were so drunk that I couldn't figure out what they were saying. Jasper seemed to be relieved when he had a reason to excuse himself.

He put a glass in my hands and led me to a quieter corner.

"Is everything all right?" he asked. I wondered was I that obvious or was it just so unlike of me to come to some party in the middle of a schoolnight.

"Yeah, everything's alright," I said quickly. "It's just, well… I kind of had a fight with Edward."

Jasper's eyebrow went up. "A fight?"

"Yeah, but it's no big deal," I said. "And now I just didn't feel like sleeping, so I decided to come here. I guess I just needed someone to talk to."

"Yes it is a big thing, I can see that you're upset," Jasper said sighing. "Just tell me, I promise I won't say 'I told you so'"

I smiled at Jasper thankfully. I hesitated for a while, not sure if I wanted to tell someone or not. Jasper's encouraging smile made me decide that I did. I mean, surely he wouldn't judge me. So I told him about our fight.

What I didn't tell was how much it really hurt. I didn't want to admit that to even myself.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said. "Just when I had started to like him."

"Don't worry, it's okay", I said. "It was only expected. My fault for not listening to good advice."

"No, it's not your fault," Jasper said firmly. "Edward's just an ass when it comes to girls."

I forced a smile on my face for Jasper. "Anyway, can we talk about something else? Or we could go find Alice and make sure she doesn't misbehave," I suggested.

"Okay," Jasper said and pulled me up. I thought how nice it was to have a friend like Jasper, of course Alice and Rosalie were great friends too, but sometimes it was just easier to talk to someone like him, knowing that he wouldn't hover or force me to say anything I didn't want to say.

We found Alice giggling with Angela with a half-empty punch glass in her hand. After looking at her hovering for a while Jasper and I decided solidly that we should take her home.

We practically dragged her to Jasper's car – she said that she was just starting to have fun – and drove her home. After that Jasper turned to look at me.

"So do you feel like going home already?" he asked.

I shrugged. The clock was probably far past 1 AM but to be honest I didn't feel like sleeping at all. "If we could just drive around a bit," I suggested.

"Okay," Jasper said. He turned on the radio and pulled off of Alice's driveway.

We drove around the Huntington Beach for almost an hour. The city felt so peaceful at night, and eventually I started to feel calm and sleepy when Jasper stopped at my house.

"This has been a pretty weird day," I said yawning.

Jasper shrugged. "I guess it has. You'll be okay? Do you want me to come inside?"

"No Jasper, I'm not a child," I laughed. "I see you tomorrow at school, then."

"Okay," he said hugging me quickly. "See you."

I tiptoed back to my room, carefully not to wake up Charlie or Sue. Even though this new dad didn't seem to be especially tight with rules, I had the feeling that he wouldn't approve my nightly adventures.

Next day at school wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience I've had. Edward and I weren't talking to each other, and I was trying to avoid even looking at his direction. I was so mad at him, I tried not to be, I tried to feel absolutely nothing towards him but it wasn't working. I couldn't make sense of my feelings even to myself, but I felt so hurt. Like he had hurt me, even though I knew this all along. What Edward and I had – if we ever even had anything, it could have never lasted. Too bad, that I was already starting to fall in love with him.

Alice begged me to tell her what had happened but I just kept saying that it was nothing, even though she could see trough me.

At lunch break I was sitting at the other side of the table. Keeping my eyes on my plate and not talking anything. I didn't know if Edward was looking at me or not, and I tried to make myself believe that I didn't care.

"Okay, Bella, you're coming to this party with me tonight," Alice said after the last class.

"Am I?" I asked.

"Yeah," Alice said smiling sweetly. "Maybe that would get you into a better mood."

"I'm not in a bad mood," I said quickly.

"Yeah right," Alice laughed as she slammed her locker door close. "You've been looking like someone had died all day."

"Have I?" I asked confused. I haven't noticed, I thought I was doing pretty well with hiding my emotions.

"Yeah," Alice nodded. "And since you're not telling me why – even thought I have a hunch about that – I just have to drag you to a party and get you drunk to have some information."

"Have you considered that your plan might not work now that you told it to me?" I pointed out.

"Oh, my plans always work," Alice said cheerfully. "I'm picking you up at eight. Be ready."

I decided that it was better to just do what Alice said, because if I hadn't, she would have been even more curious. So I made sure that by eight o'clock I was wearing my pink glittery strapless top and black super tight skinny jeans and was ready downstairs.

Charlie, who was sitting in front of the TV, looked my outfit with a wary look. "Are you going somewhere?" he asked.

"Yeah, Alice is taking me to a party," I said. I felt like pointing out that these weren't the clothes I would have worn if I would have still been in charge of my wardrobe.

"Is it really a good idea to go to a party at a schoolnight?" Charlie asked.

I was a little surprised, usually he didn't care at all. "It hasn't bothered you before."

"Maybe it's bothering me now," he said.

"Well, it's a little late now." I was starting to get a little irritated. The time when he could have been a proper father for me was long gone. I was old enough to take care of myself. Or at least I was too old for him to take care of me.

"Bella, I'm only thinking what's best for you. And after all I am your father, so I can tell you to – "

I could hear Alice driving in our front yard. "Well I don't know if you ever really were my father, _Charlie_," I said before turning around and walking out. I was so mad at him for thinking that he had the right to tell me what to do now, when he had never been in my life before.

The second I slammed the front door shut, I realized that the last comment had been unnecessarily mean. But there was nothing I could do about it now, Alice was waiting for me and no way was I going to go back and apologize.

"Hi, Bella, are you ready to party?" Alice cried out when I jumped on the passenger seat of her Porsche. Then she looked at my outfit and nodded approvingly. "It seems like you're finally learning something about the amazing world of fashion."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know about the partying, but if you give me enough alcohol I'll be ready."

"Is everything okay?" she asked looking at my angry expression.

"Yeah, I just had kind of a fight with Charlie," I said. "It's no big deal."

"Are you sure?" Alice asked driving away.

"Yeah," I said smiling. "He's just never been much of a father to me. But I'm used to it by now. But anyway, I don't want to talk about my dad now."

"Okay, what do you want to talk about then?" Alice asked.

"Well about you and Jasper for example," I said suddenly remembering. "Weren't you supposed to see each other today?"

"Yeah, but he canceled, so we're meeting tomorrow instead," Alice said.

"Okay," I said.

We didn't speak much more until we were at the house that was already full of people and laughter. I couldn't help wondering how come there was always some party in here. There were never any parties in Forks, or at least any that I was aware of.

Once we were inside Alice put a glass on my hand and disappeared on the dance floor. I sat on the couch sipping from my glass and once I noticed it was empty I took another one. After some time Alice joined me.

"Aren't this party so much fun?" Alice giggled her cheeks red and a wide smile on her face.

"Yeah," I said starting my third drink. It probably wasn't wise to drink so much, especially when it still was a school night, but either I was already too drunk or too pissed off to care.

Alice looked like she was going to say something to me but then her eyes froze in the corner of the room. I followed her glance and froze too.

It was Edward. Kissing Jessica.

Foolishly I could feel my eyes filling with tears. Well it surely hadn't taken too long for him to move on. Right now I just hated him _so much_.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" I could hear Alice's voice, but it felt like it was coming from a distance.

I stood up and marched to the bar desk to fill my glass and gulped it down at one time.

"I'm sorry, Bella," said Alice who had followed me. "But I warned you, I told you that – "

"Alice, don't," I said. "I don't need your lecture now. I knew it all along. I knew that it was a wrong and I shouldn't have done anything with him and everything. It was my decision, my mistake."

Alice looked at me seriously. "I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know, just get me drunk," I said. "And slap him for me, will you?"

"Surely," Alice said grinning unhappily. "Tomorrow, when he's sober enough to remember it later."

"Okay," I said taking another gulp. I just wanted to forget.

Edward's PoV

I was quite sure that I was having a bad week. Everything was just going wrong since Monday. I guess it was my fault really, for not thinking what I let out of my mouth. Alice always said that I should think before I talked, but somehow my mouth always seemed to form sentences before I had time to think about them.

But it wasn't all my fault, right? Bella was acting like she was the innocent unaware girl that I had hurt. But it wasn't like that, I liked her and we were just having fun. I mean, it wasn't like she hadn't known how I was like from the beginning. I wasn't using her.

I had even tried to apologize – and I never do that. But somehow it had turned out all wrong. I could still hear it inside my head, all the things she had said. Her voice had been harsh, emotionless, but I had seen the pain in her eyes.

And it did bother me, I never wanted to hurt her, but why did she had to be so damn stubborn. If she would have just listened to me, everything would be okay by now.

Most of the Tuesday at school I just tried to pretend that she wasn't even there until it was evening finally and I went to some random party with Emmett.

"Okay, we seriously need to get you drunk, you've been looking like you wanted to kill someone the whole day," Emmett said sticking a full glass in my hands.

"I haven't," I argued but I didn't mind getting drunk. It was my way to deal with problems, and for now it had been the best way.

Few hours later I was happily drunk enough to not care about Bella at all. I was dancing with Jessica, holding her firmly in my arms, even though I had no idea how I had ended up there again. After last time I had sworn to myself that I would never do anything with her again – well except a school project maybe – and as far as I could remember she had said the same about me. I mean, I didn't even like her, but somehow I was now dancing with her again and everything was blurry and hovering.

"What's wrong with you?" Jessica asked when the song was over and we were sitting in one corner on a small couch. "You've been so quiet. I mean even more quiet than usual."

"Nothing," I said drinking from my glass which was emptying too fast. I turned my eyes away from Jessica and a second later realized that it was a mistake, because now I realized that I was looking directly at Bella, who was sitting, at the other side of the room.

"I didn't know that she was here," I muttered to myself.

"What did you say?" Jessica asked.

"Nothing." I turned my eyes away from Bella quickly, she was talking with Alice and she hadn't noticed me.

"You were talking about _her_," Jessica said noticing what I was looking the moment I turned my head away. "Is it not possible to forget her for even a moment? She's not even that pretty."

"I am already forgetting," I said and turned to look at Jessica's face. Jessica was looking behind me, and I could tell without even looking that she was looking at Bella. Suddenly she turned her eyes back at me.

"Edward," she said in a low, intense whisper. "I can make you forget."

And the next thing I knew, her mouth was on mine. Jessica was a good kisser, I couldn't deny that. But her kisses were always the same, hard and seductive, so different than Bella's. Bella's kisses were so sweet so addictive, she always kissed with her whole self, not just with her lips or her body, but like she really meant it. Like at that moment it was the whole world to her.

I pulled my head away from Jessica's puzzled. Here I was kissing Jessica and thinking about kissing Bella.

I turned to look behind me, but she was already gone.

"You kissed me only because she was looking," I said accusingly, as I turned to look back at Jessica.

She shook her head. "I didn't," she said slowly coming closer to me again. "I kissed you because I want you and I knew that you want me, her fault if she was looking."

"Don't," I said just a moment before she would have kissed me again. "It's not you who I want."

Jessica laughed softly. "You can keep telling that to yourself over and over again, but we both know how this goes. You always come back to me."

It was true, I couldn't deny it. At least it had been true until now. "You don't know anything," I said. "You were never more than sex to me, Jess."

She shook her head. "And I was damn good sex, I bet I'm so much better than _her_. At least I have much more experience than her."

"You were never anything compared to her. And if you call fucking every guy in the soccer team experience then yeah, you're more experienced than her," I said starting to really get angry. I shouldn't have been here arguing with Jessica, I should have been looking for Bella.

I could see that I had hurt Jessica. What was wrong with me, I always ended up hurting everybody. "Well how does she like your experience then, which, I can tell you have much more than I do," Jessica snapped. "Not very well, as we can see."

"Jessica, you're pathetic," I said sanding up. "You're just jealous for her, because you can see how much better she is than you."

She laughed bitterly. "Well at least she's far too good for you. Apparently she noticed that herself too."

And then she was gone too before I had time to say anything more. Not that I would have, I didn't have anything to say to her last words, they were all true. She was far too good for me.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you so much for reviewing _CassieCat97_,** _**DanielleHalford**_** and _ParamorFanFrLif_ (loved all five of them! :D)**

**So here comes the next one! And please review and let me know what you think about it, your opinion's important! :)  
Enjoy and have a nice weekend everyone!**

Chapter 13

Bella's PoV

When I woke up in Alice's bed and didn't have any idea how I had ended up there, I didn't even panic. Maybe it was just because I felt so nauseated that there wasn't any room for panic. Either way, at this point I was already used to this; waking up in someone else's bed with only blurry memories of last night.

I sighed and closed my eyes, just wishing that my stomach would feel steadier if I didn't do anything else. Alice had been pretty patient with me, but I had the feeling she wouldn't appreciate me throwing up in her bed.

"Alice?" I called out weakly. I didn't hear her answering, so I opened my eyes again. The room was empty. I didn't have time to recognize anything else before I had to get up and run into the bathroom.

After throwing up everything there still was in my stomach, I felt slightly better. I went back to Alice's bedroom and only then I noticed the note she had left on the pillow next to me.

_Good morning, Sunshine,_

_I left to slap Edward for you, like you asked, remember? See you at school or if you're not feeling well enough for school I'll come at your place after school._

_Take anything you want from the kitchen,_

_Alice_

I sighed. I definitely didn't feel well enough for school, but anyway, I had ditched far too much already. At Forks I had never ditched, I barely even knew what the word 'ditch' meant. I looked at the clock on Alice's bedside table. It was well past ten already.

"Great," I sighed.

After taking a quick shower, throwing something from Alice's wardrobe on me I went downstairs. I didn't feel like eating so I just went outside.

The sun was far too bright, it hurt my eyes and made my head hurt even more. Only then I realized another problem, looking at the empty driveway. I didn't have car.

This day was getting worse and worse all the time.

"Guess I just have to walk home then," I said to myself. Great, so now I was starting to talk to myself, the first sign of madness.

I didn't have time to take even one step though, before I saw Rosalie's car pulling up at Alice's driveway.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as Rosalie opened the door.

"Good morning to you too," she said rolling her eyes. "Alice called me that you might need a ride.

"Oh," I said sitting at the passenger seat, "Thanks."

"No problem," Rose said flashing me a smile. "So if we get your schoolbooks from your place we still have enough time to go to the afternoon's classes."

"Awesome," I said dryly. "School's just what I need right now."

"Don't worry, Bella," Rosalie said giving me a sympathetic look. "All guys are jerks, just stay as far away from them as you can."

"You know about that too?" I asked.

"Well yeah, who doesn't?"

I turned to look at Rosalie. "What do you mean who doesn't?"

"Well basically everyone's talking about it; Edward Cullen broke the new girl's heart."

"What?" I said shocked. "It's not like that! He didn't broke my – "

"You don't have to tell me that," Rosalie shrugged. "And anyway, just ignore it; you can't avoid the gossip if you're around Edward long enough."

"Fine," I sighed. It was easier said than done, I was the kind of girl, than no one ever talked about. "Anyway, how can you say that all guys are jerks, when you're so happy with Emmett?" I asked changing the subject.

Rosalie smiled. "Well that's a different thing, Emmett's not a guy."

"What? You mean he's a girl?"

"No, silly," Rosalie laughed. "I just meant that he's more like… _a man_."

Now was my turn to laugh. "Are you kidding me? Emmett? He's acting more like a little boy."

"Well maybe, but he's not acting like a little boy around me at all," Rosalie said winking at me meaningfully.

"Don't tell me more," I laughed.

But I was already feeling a bit better; I really did have the most awesome friends.

Edward's PoV

The sunlight was far too bright even though my curtains were closed. I kept my eyes shut and tried to pretend that I was still asleep. Because to be honest; I wasn't sure if I wanted to wake up to this day. It seemed like these days everything was just one big fucking mess.

I didn't know how long I just laid there, my eyes closed, trying to ignore the headache, until I finally gave up, got up and searched for some painkillers.

I swallowed them with a gulp from the bottle on my table. Too late I realized that it was something stronger than water.

"Oh Gosh," I groaned spitting it out of my mouth. This was definitely not my day. That was what I was thinking when I heard the doorbell ringing.

Well whoever there was, would just have to wait, since there was no way I would be able to talk to anyone for a while.

"Edward Cullen, I know you're in there and if you don't open the door right now, I'm going to break it," I heard Alice's furious voice. Oh shit. "And you know very well that I can do it."

"Okay Alice, just wait that I get dressed and I'll open the door," I yelled, not sure if she was able to hear. So I just threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and hurried to the door. I didn't want to explain a broken front door to my parents.

Alice stepped inside and slapped me hard on my left cheek. "Ouch," I said rubbing my cheek. "That hurt."

"That was for Bella," Alice said rudely.

"What the hell, Alice?" I asked as Alice let herself in walking past me inside the house.

"You know very well what, mister," Alice said in her most pissed off voice. I wanted to laugh out at the fact that she had just actually called me 'mister' but I had the feeling that laughing wouldn't make this any better.

"Well I have a hunch," I said not meeting her eyes.

"You and your hunches," Alice snapped marching into the living room. She really moved in this house like it was her home. Well it wasn't far from the truth, when we were little kids she almost always came at my place after school because her parents were too busy to look after her. "What the fuck are you messing with Bella?" Alice practically yelled at me. "Haven't you learned anything? Anything at all?"

"Alice, I don't know what you're talking about," I said, annoyed and hangover and still half-asleep. "Whatever she told you it's probably a lie."

"She didn't have to tell me anything," Alice said grimly. "That kiss with Jessica told pretty much."

"Shit," I said sitting on one of the soft couches. "She kissed me, you know. And it's not like we were together or anything. I can do whatever I want to."

"No Edward, that's the problem," Alice said quietly. It was almost worse than shouting; her eyes told that I had let her down. "You always _think_ so. But it's not true, you can't do anything you want in this life, because there are other people here, and sometimes, you have to think about their feelings too. That's just how it works."

"I didn't do anything wrong. I never promised anything to her, I didn't even let her expect – " I tried to defend myself, but it was pretty useless, Alice always won me in pretty much every argument we had.

"That's not the point. She liked you, I could tell she did, and you were her first, that means something, you should know that," Alice said frustrated.

I shrugged. I couldn't make up anything to say to her. "Why do you even care, Alice?" I asked.

"Why do I care?" Alice cried out angrily. "Well, maybe, because Bella is my friend. And I care about my friends!"

"Well, I'm your friend too," I pointed out. "I was your friend first."

"Yeah, but sometimes you're just a childish asshole who hurts my other friends," Alice said. "And I told you the first time you set your eyes on her; I told you it wouldn't be any good. But you didn't bother to listen! Why is it that you never listen?"

"Well I'm sorry Alice, but it doesn't work that way," I said slowly. "I don't always do as you tell me to. She wanted me and I wanted her. It was that simple."

"No it's not," she shook her head. "It's not that simple. And at some point you have to grow up and realize that it's not always all about you. That you have to take responsibility from your actions that you can't go around hurting other people just because they allow you to do so."

"I don't get it Alice," I sighed. "Why are you so mad at me?"

"No you never seem to get it," Alice said quietly. "I've watched you mess up with everyone for too long. Why can't you ever take anything seriously?"

I stared at her. I just didn't get her point, why was she so mad at me if it was only for Bella? Couldn't Bella be mad at me all by herself if she wanted to?

Alice shook her head and turned around leaving me alone at the empty living room feeling even worse than I had before.

Bella's PoV

I was waiting in front of the biology class and hoping that Edward wouldn't show up. I hadn't seen him all day – or at least that part of the day that I had actually spent in school – but we hadn't really had classes together until now.

But right now I didn't feel like talking to him. And the inevitable part of being lab partners with someone unfortunately was that you had to talk to them.

"Hi Bella," I turned around when I heard someone calling my name.

"Hi Mike," I said forcing a small smile on my face. I didn't really want to talk to him either.

"So," Mike said smiling at me his widest puppy smile. "You remember that we're supposed to do our group project today?"

"_What_?"

"Yeah, we agreed that we'll do it today after school, don't you remember?" Mike asked.

"Shit," I said. Now that he mentioned it I remembered. "Oh Gosh, Mike, I'm sorry, I totally forgot that."

"It's okay. You don't have anything else today, do you?" Mike asked looking a bit disappointed.

"No – no I don't but – ," I mumbled. "It's just that I don't know if Edward's coming and since we were supposed to go at his place again…"

"Where you're not sure if I'm coming?" I heard Edward's voice behind me.

"Great," I muttered to myself. "We were supposed to do our group project today, I just wondered if you remembered," I said then aloud to Edward who had walked beside me.

"Oh shit," Edward said much like I had just a minute ago. "I forgot."

"Well, it's okay, we can do it some other day if you have something planned," Mike said looking a little disappointed however.

"Yeah, that's okay with me too," I said quickly. Group project with Edward and Jessica was something I would have liked to skip.

"No, I don't have anything planned," Edward said shrugging and looked at me. "Today is fine."

"Well that's just great," I said glancing at Edward angrily as Mr. Banner opened the door and let us inside the classroom.

After the biology class I was so ready to go to home, but instead I found myself in Edward's passenger seat on the way to his place. I decided it was best to just cross my arms over my chest and pretend he didn't exist.

"No reason to look so pissed off we're only going to do a school project, not burying someone," Edward sighed after a moment of depressive silence.

"It's not about what we're going to do, it's more about the company," I said coldly and turned my back at him looking out of the window. Yeah, probably I was acting a bit childishly, but so what.

"Fine then, be in a bad mood if you want to," Edward said rolling his eyes.

"I will, thanks a lot."

Edward chuckled. "And they say I'm acting childishly."

"That's because you are acting childishly," I sighed. "Is it really so impossible to keep your mouth shut for a whole five minutes."

"Yeah, I think it is," Edward said after a while of consideration.

"You're impossible," I said shaking my head.

"So are you," Edward said.

"I am not," I said angrily. He had absolutely no right to call me impossible.

"Yes you are," Edward said smiling. That bastard was smiling.

"Am not!"

"Yes you are."

"This is really stupid," I said. "Why do I even bother talking to you?"

"I don't know," Edward said. After that we didn't say anything. Edward just killed the engine in front of his house and we walked inside.

I sat down on the living room couch to wait for Mike and Jessica to arrive. Edward was sitting in an armchair switching on his laptop.

It was hard, being so near to Edward. I was still angry for him, even though I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't be.

And being this close to Edward – I found myself remembering how it felt to feel his fingertips on my skin, his lips on mine, the best feeling I ever had. I was certain that I'd never have that part of him again. How could I now that I knew that I was never anything else than sex for him?

Even though, my stupid heart still wanted him. Wanted us to be… something. It was so stupid, so impossible, that it made me even angrier to him. Being angry was easy, lot easier than actually facing my feelings.

Neither of us said anything, neither of us moved, until the doorbell finally rung. I was sure I had never been happier about seeing Mike and Jessica.

"Okay, so let's get started," Mike said after a moment of awkward silence between the four of us.

"Yeah, to get this done with," Edward muttered.

In ten minutes we were all working. Mike and I were doing our PowerPoint show in silence but Jessica was chattering to Edward in low voice as they finished the miniature model. I knew she was doing it only to annoy me. Not that I cared, anyhow. I decided that not caring was sometimes the best option.

Mike seemed to sense my mood and decide that keeping his mouth shut would be the safest option. He didn't seem so bad now, at least not as bad as Jessica.

"Hey Edward, remember that party last night?" Jessica said looking directly at me as she spoke in a low whisper. "I really did have fun, despite everything." I didn't have to imagine the suggestive tone of her voice; it was so obvious that no one would have missed it.

That was when I couldn't take it anymore. Fine then, I could play her game too.

"Hey Mike," I said in a low voice but loud enough for Edward and Jessica to hear. "Is your date invitation still on?" I asked smiling at him, moving an inch closer.

Mike looked at me, puzzled. "Well, yeah…"

"I thought it would be nice to see a movie, or go for a coffee maybe, if you'd like," I said glancing at Edward's direction, not really knowing why these words were coming out of my mouth. Was I really any better than Jessica?

"Yeah, sure," Mike said frowning. His expression was suspicious but maybe a little hopeful too. Or then I just imagined it. "Is Friday okay?"

"Yeah, Friday's fine," I said laughing a little nervously. This was so weird, my first real date ever – with Mike. Because of jealousy or anger or annoyance or whatever I was feeling.

"We need some tape for finishing this," Edward said in a casual voice. "Bella, mind picking it up with me?"

"Sure," I groaned under my teeth, wondering what he was about now. "If you needed an excuse you might as well have picked a better one," I whispered when we stepping out of the living room, leaving confused Mike and Jessica behind us.

Edward led me to upstairs in a short hallway that was full of closed doors. I wondered if one of them led to Edward's room. Edward pushed me against the wall.

"You don't have to go on a date with Newton, just to get me jealous," Edward said quietly. His voice was dangerous, low and intense.

"I'm not," I said coldly. "Even you should realize that it's not always about you."

"I know exactly what this is about," Edward said, his voice low, keeping me against the wall.

"Edward you don't have any right to say that," I said, feeling so angry, so hurt, but struggling to keep my voice calm. "You didn't want me, so is it not okay for anyone else to want me?"

"I did want you," Edward said his eyes shocked. "How can you say I didn't – "

I let out an unhappy laugh. "_That_'s not what I mean. It's just that it would be nice for a change to spent time with someone that actually likes me for who I am, and not just because of the sex."

"I never said that I don't like you, of course I – "

"You didn't have to say," I whispered, suddenly realizing how close we were, how much I wanted to lean out and touch him, and how impossible it was.

Edward stared at me for a long time. "You're so wrong," he said and walked back downstairs leaving me alone.

I stayed still, staring after him. I felt confused. Confused and alone and a little sad. How did things get to this? Why couldn't I seem to let go of Edward, even though I knew there couldn't be anything between us. I was mad at him still, for being a selfish bastard, but I couldn't help but miss him all the same. I could remember the time we'd spent in my room or in the cliff behind our school, when it was just us too. When Edward was just Edward and I was just Bella. I missed that Edward. I was close to tears again, I could feel it. I sat on the floor trying to fight back the tears.

This all started to feel so stupid. So childish. What was I doing here, in Edward's house, feeling more alone than I had felt for a long while. Feeling a little homesick too. If I hadn't ever moved here, none of this would have happened.

But then again, if I hadn't moved here, I would have never felt so… _alive_. Because that's what I felt here, despite everything, alive in a completely new, different way.

I stood up and went back to the living room before they would start wondering where I was.

"Couldn't find the tape," I mumbled when Mike threw me a questioning look. Mike raised his other eyebrow.

"Actually, yes we did," Edward said showing me a tape roll.

"Well that's nice," I said in my most pissed off tone.

After that I spent probably the most awkward half an hour of my life as we finished the project. Just when I had thought it couldn't possibly get any worse. We were all quiet and spoke only what was necessary. After that we packed our stuff as quickly as we could.

"Come on, Bella, I can drive you home," Edward said firmly.

"Actually, I could ride her, we're going to the same direction," Mike said. "Unless you don't want to stay longer again?" he asked turning to look at me.

"That won't be necessary," I said.

Edward chuckled, not looking amused though. "No cleaning up today, huh?"

I remembered immediately the last time I had been in this house, and even though I tried, I couldn't help blushing. It made me even angrier. And it seemed to please Edward. "No, you can clean up all by yourself. Unless you want to do it with _Jessica_," I said as casually as I could. This was definitely the moment it couldn't get any worse.

That was what I thought when I heard the front door opening.

"Hi Edward, I'm home," I could hear his mother's voice as they came to the living room. "Oh your friends came to visit again, that's nice." Then she turned to look at me and her expression changed. "And Bella – nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too," I said forcing a smile on my face. I hoped it didn't look more like a wince.

"We were just leaving so… " Mike said quietly.

"Yeah, we were doing our biology project," Edward said awkwardly.

"Okay, don't let me bother you," she said smiling friendly.

"No seriously, we already got it done," Edward said.

"Okay," Esme said like she didn't quite believe him and then disappeared upstairs leaving us alone again. My cheeks were still bright red, I was sure I could never look his mother in the eye, not after what had happened the first time we met…

"We'll go now, Edward," I said walking towards the door Mike and Jessica following behind me. "Have fun cleaning up."

And with that I stumbled out of the front door.

The week didn't get any better from there. In fact when I woke up that Friday I remembered that I had my first real date today – with a guy I didn't even like. Actually with a guy that really irritated me at times. To make Edward jealous, even when I tried my best not to care about him. Yeah, that surely made it easier to get out of the bed.

"Morning Alice," I said meeting her at school before the first class.

"Hi Bella, I've been thinking," she started cheerfully.

"Really, you have?" I asked

"Haha, very funny," Alice rolled her eyes. "Seriously, what if you just ditch Mike and we go get drunk tonight."

I shook my head. "I was the one who asked him to go out with me," I pointed out. "Even I am not that cruel."

"Oh, so you think it's okay to ask a guy to go out with you only because you want to make this other guy jealous, but you don't think it's okay to ditch guy you don't like at all," Alice said. "That's and interesting moral you have."

"Are you trying to make me feel worse?" I sighed. Not that I didn't deserve it, thought.

"No, I'm not," Alice said. "I'm sorry."

"And I'm not going out with him just to make Edward jealous," I added. "I'm not trying to make him jealous."

"Yeah, right. Then why are you exactly going out with him?" Alice chuckled. "Seriously, you're messed up, kid."

I gave her a meaningful look.

"That wasn't trying to make you feel worse, that was therapy," Alice said defensively.

"You and your therapy," I muttered. "Come on, we'll be late for class."

**Like it? Hate it? Love it? Review and let me know! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you _CassieCat97_, _ParamorFanFrLif_ (liked your idea, but I had already wrote that part :)), _emily713_, _DanielleHalford_ and _Bex114 _so much for your comments, I couldn't live without them! And also thanks to everyone who've put this on their favorite or alert lists :)**

**Hope you like this chapter, at least I enjoyed writing it :) And I really need your opinion on this one, so please review, your revews always make my day!**

Chapter 14

Bella's PoV

I was sitting in Alice's bed half an hour before my date with Mike was supposed to start. Alice was going through her enormous closet trying to find me something to wear. Even after all the shopping we'd done, I still didn't have that many clothes Alice thought I could wear and since she had clothes enough to fill at least five normal wardrobes, I ended up loaning her clothes quite often.

"Okay, that's perfect," Alice nodded finally, when I was dressed up in a dark blue dress and a pair of black leggings.

I glanced at myself from the long mirror. "You sure it's not too open? I don't want to look too suggestive, going on a date with a guy I don't even like," I said, frowning at my reflection.

Alice walked around me. "No you look great. Beautiful and confident, showing that you hold the cards, so when he asks you to go out with him again, you can just say 'thanks, but no thanks' and walk away, right?"

"Okay, okay," I said grabbing my bag. "I better go."

"Have fun," Alice said kissing my cheek before she let me go.

I opened the door to the small café with a sigh. Mike was already sitting in the corner table and a wide smile appeared on his face when he saw me. Hot the hell had I ended up here?

"Hi," I said sitting down opposite to him.

"Hey," Mike said looking a little nervous. Then followed a short, awkward moment, when we were just staring at each other trying to figure out what we were supposed to do next. Or at least I was. Luckily the waitress broke the silence by asking what we wanted.

"Just coffee for me," I said.

"Yeah, me too," Mike added. After the waitress had gone he turned to look at me again.

"So," he started. I couldn't help thinking that we really didn't have anything to talk about. "I really like your dress."

"Oh," I said looking down. "Thanks. It's Alice's."

"Well, I like it on you," Mike said awkwardly.

"Yeah, well thanks," I said again feeling like an idiot.

We managed to keep up the half forced small talk before the waitress arrived with our coffees.

"Just tell me if you need anything else," she said flashing us a smile and then disappearing back to the kitchen, leaving us painfully alone. I felt like calling her back and telling that I did need something. I needed to get out.

"So Bella," Mike said when I was halfway through my coffee and trying to figure out when I could excuse myself without being too rude. "I was just thinking…"

Oh no, I thought. That couldn't mean anything good.

"I know it's still a while away," Mike said smiling nervously. "But I thought that I'd just ask if you'd go to the pr – "

I was holding my breath, but before he had time to finish the sentence we heard a loud bang from the door. I turned around only to see Edward and Emmett stepping inside the café.

Edward looked around for a while before noticing us in the corner. Immediately he started to walk towards us with a wide grin on his face. Emmett followed after him with and apologetic expression on his face.

"Hi Bella," Edward grinned sitting on the chair next to me swaying a little.

"Charming," I said. "Are you drunk?" Mike looked like he might strangle someone – Edward most likely. Actually I felt sorry for Mike; it wasn't his fault that he seemed to have this stupid crush on me. I was so not worth it.

"What if I am?" Edward said defiantly. He smelled like scotch.

"Nothing," I shrugged. "That's just kind of impolite, to get drunk and ruin someone's date out of jealousy."

"I'm not jealous," Edward said. His voice sounded rough and a little dangerous. "At least not any more than you are."

His word sent images of him with Jessica trough my head, it kind of hurt how close to the truth he was.

"You don't know anything about that," I hissed. "So fuck off from my date."

We were staring at each other. I could see anger and some other emotion from his face. For a moment I couldn't see anything else than him.

"Okay then, children," Emmett said clapping his hands together, breaking the tension between us. "We were just leaving," he said grabbing Edward's arm and pulling him up. "Sorry if we interrupted something."

"No you didn't," I said and stood up too. I needed to get out of here and now was my chance. "I was just leaving."

"Now already?" Mike asked looking disappointed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," I said and grabbed my bag. "Thanks for coffee and everything. See you Monday, at school, okay?"

And then I was already out of the door leaving the three of them staring after me. I walked few blocks, without stopping, without looking back. Then I just sat down on a bench and let the tears roll down on my cheeks. I felt like I couldn't control anything in my life, everything was just blowing up in my hands.

Monday morning I was sitting in Sue's car in the school's parking lot, seriously thinking about running away. I really didn't feel like going to school and facing Mike and Edward. And what's more, today was our turn to represent our group project to the rest of the class. Well that was just great.

Eventually I still hopped out of the car and went inside the school building.

"Bella," Alice yelled and waved at me from the other side of the lobby. Her left hand was in Jasper's and they were both smiling at me. Somewhere along the weekend they had officially started daiting.

"Hi," I said a little less enthusiastically.

"Well, you look bright," Alice pointed out.

"It's Monday morning after all," I shrugged. "Come on Jasper, we'll be late for English class."

"I'm coming," Jasper said but instead of letting go of Alice he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in a long and passionate kiss.

"Right," I said tapping my foot on the floor impatiently after a while when they didn't show any signs of letting go of each other. "Jasper, we're really going to be late," I said.

"I'm coming, Bella," Jasper said with such a irritation in his voice that it made me feel like the bad guy who was separating two desperate lovers.

We finally arrived in the English class five minutes late, when the class had already started. Mr. Mason just ordered us in our seats and went on.

The whole class was pretty much pointless to me. I didn't hear anything he was saying. Jasper seemed to be just as deeply in his though than I was, for different reasons, though.

When the bell finally rung, I was relieved to get out of the classroom.

The rest of the day went by pretty much the same way, until I was standing in front of the biology class just a few meters away from Edward. I hadn't talked to him since Friday and now we were both just standing there, looking in different directions.

"Hi Bella," I heard Mike's voice before I could see him. I could feel Edward's eyes on us as Mike smiled at me. "Today's the big day, huh?" Mike said cheerfully.

"What?" I asked.

"Our group project presentation," Mike explained.

"Oh, that," I nodded. Some group project it had been, I thought as Mr. Banner finally let us inside the class. I sat next to Edward silently.

"So, today we're going to see your presentations," Mr. Banner said clapping his hands together, apparently trying to get us excited. So far it wasn't working. "Who wants to start?" he asked.

The whole class was quiet.

"Okay," Mr. Banner said shrugging. ""Edward, Bella, your group? You want to start?"

"Well not exactly," Edward said.

"Great," Mr. Banner said like he hadn't even heard Edward's answer. "And your subject was… Solar System, right?"

Edward nodded.

"Come on now," Mr. Banner said smiling encouragingly. "Don't be afraid."

Reluctantly we stood up and walked in front of the classroom with Mike and Jessica.

"Okay guys," Jessica said in a muffled voice. "We have a great presentation, so just keep it calm, Mr. Banner's gonna love it," she said like a cough before an important game. "And Edward, don't stumble over your words like you did in that presentation when we were – "

"Come on, Jess," Edward said irritated. "I was like twelve!"

"Hey guys, maybe we should –" Mike said when it looked like Jessica was about to snap something back to Edward.

"Don't you tell me what I should do," Edward said to Mike. They were glancing at each other angrily; I could almost feel the tension between them. I knew this couldn't mean anything good.

"Oh yeah, so you're going to ruin this one too?" Mike said in a challenging tone. "Like you've ruined everything else."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Edward asked dangerously.

"Like you wouldn't know," Mike said laughing bitterly. "You're so selfish you never – "

"Stop it, guys," I said in a sharp whisper. "So… Solar System," I said then turning to look at the class and noticed that everyone was already staring at us. Mr. Banner frowned at the back of the class.

"Oh so now I'm selfish, just because she picked me over you just like every girl – "

"Yeah, she's like every girl to you, you don't even – "

I could hear Mike and Edward's furious whispers behind me. And according to Mr. Banner's face I wasn't the only one.

"Our Solar System has nine planets –" I started again my voice shaking a little.

"You just like to screw her, if you would actually care about her you – "

"Oh yes? But at least I am the one from the two of us who has screwed her, so she doesn't seem to want you to – "

"And the Sun which is a star in the center of the Solar System like you probably already know," I said rising my voice and couldn't quite keep the hysterical tone out of it.

"Your just a big idiot Edward, you're never going to – "

I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around. "Guys stop it," I snapped.

But then I realized it was already too late.

I didn't even know which one of them started it but suddenly they were in some kind of wrestling slash boxing match punching each other.

"Okay, Guys, guys," Mr. Banner said looking slightly panicked too.

"You fucking idiots – I'm sorry Mr. Banner, you freaking idiots," I corrected slightly hysterically staring horrified at Edward who punched Mike in the mouth. Mike answered by hitting Edward in the eyes.

I stood like frozen on the spot for a moment, feeling like I couldn't move even one of my limbs. There was something so surreal in this situation. I looked at Jessica who was looking at me with her most hateful "now look what you've done, once again you ruined everything" glance. Mr. Banner was trying to separate Edward and Mike from each other. I grabbed my bag and ran out of the classroom as fast as I could, feeling everyone's eyes on my back.

I sat in the lobby in one of the wooden benches beside the lockers. It was empty, since everyone else was in their classes. I had sat there for some time now; the classes were probably ending soon. I should've got out.

I was sure that was just the worse presentation I've ever had. And maybe I could have defended myself by saying that it wasn't my fault, except that it was my fault. Exactly my fault. I was the one who messed up with Edward, in the first place. I could have said no. Knowing all that everyone had warned me about, I probably should have said no. And I was the one who went out with Mike, knowing that he liked me and I didn't like him at all.

I raised my eyes from the floor when I heard footsteps and saw Jessica coming at my direction.

"Now look what you've done," Jessica said in a furious tone. "Are you happy now?"

"Do I look happy?" I asked quietly.

"It's not enough for you to just steal other people's boyfriends; you have to ruin everything else too, right?" Jessica said, standing in front of me, her arms crossed across her chest.

"I didn't steal anyone's boyfriend," I said. That was just a ridiculous thing to accuse. "Like Edward would be able to be anyone's boyfriend."

"If he doesn't want to be your boyfriend it doesn't mean he can't," Jessica said stubbornly.

"Come on Jess, we both know that he's childish and arrogant asshole, who doesn't really care about anything else than himself. Some boyfriend he would be," I said gloomily, thinking about every hurtful thing he'd said and done to me. I didn't think about the good parts, the moments when I had thought that he was actually a great guy under his badass shell.

"If you think so you don't know him at all," Jessica hissed.

"No Jessica, you're the one who doesn't know him," I sighed. I was tired. Tired of this fighting and arguing and messed up opinions. "You know it's just stupid to fight over this guy, who doesn't even want neither of us."

"You don't know anything about that," Jessica shook her head. "You don't even belong here."

I shrugged. Maybe that was true. Probably. "You don't care about Edward, you just like possessing," I said. It surprised me how calm I suddenly was, kind of emotionless. Tired.

"And what does he mean to you, then?" she asked scornfully.

Everything, I felt like screaming. Nothing. I didn't even know. Something.

But then the bell rung and soon the lobby was full of students again. Jessica just snorted and walked to her friend Laurent. I could see her talking to Lauren intensely and it wasn't hard to guess what they were talking about.

"Hi Bella," Alice seemed to appear out of nowhere and sat on the bench beside me. "Why do you look so weird?"

I shrugged again. "Well we were supposed to have our group presentation today and then Edward and Mike started fighting over me in front of the whole class and punching each other and then I left and then Jessica accused me of stealing others boyfriends, so quite a normal biology class," I said sarcastically. I started to feel more like myself with Alice there.

"I'm sorry – what?" Alice asked looking puzzled.

I gave her a strict report about everything that had happened. After that Alice let out a frustrated sigh.

"Edward can be such an idiot. I would probably hate him if I didn't love him."

I nodded. I felt pretty much the same way. Except that I didn't love him, I corrected myself quickly. I couldn't.

"So what do you say if we skipped the last classes and did something fun instead?" Alice suggested all cheerful again.

"Like what?" I asked doubtfully.

"I don't know," Alice said. "At least there's this beach party tonight and you're coming with me and Jasper."

"But it's Tuesday," I tried to object.

"So?" Alice laughed and pulled me up. "Come on, cheer up."

I forced a smile on my face for Alice and followed her outside to the bright sunshine.

We ended up in Alice's backyard, lying beside the swimming pool. After some time Rosalie joined us bringing mango smoothies and the newest gossip with her.

Everyone seemed to know that Edward Cullen had had a fight in front of a classroom over the new girl. According to Rosalie, everyone was talking about it.

"Oh no," I groaned. "Why is this happening to me?"

"Come on Bella," Rosalie tried to cheer me up. "Do you have any idea how many girls would be willing to kill to get in your position? Having Edward Cullen fighting over them."

"It's not like that," I said.

"Well I know it," Rosalie said. "I saw Edward this afternoon. He had a black eye but otherwise he seemed okay. He said that Mike looked worse. They both got detention and failed the group project."

"They deserve it," I said.

"I know," Rosalie said. "They're guys. They really can't help it."

Edward's PoV

I was lying on the cool sand, sticking my feet under it so that I got sand in my shoes. I didn't care, I was only a little drunk, but enough to not to care. About anything.

Emmett handed me a cigarette and I handed the bottle to him in exchange. Neither of us had spoken for a while.

This was just the perfect way to forget everything you didn't want to remember. We were just far enough away from everyone else. We could hear the music and people's voices, but they were just background noise.

But here it was just me and Emmett, drinking and smoking and completely not caring. Shutting the world out.

"Do you ever think about the future?" Emmett asked suddenly.

I turned to look at him. "No. Why would I?"

"I was just thinking," Emmett shrugged.

"Are you okay?" I laughed. "We don't think about that."

"I know, I was just –" Emmett started, spluttering the words out like he always did when he was drunk.

"Wasted?" I suggested.

"Yeah," Emmett said and we both started laughing and couldn't stop until we had already forgotten what we were laughing about.

"You know this is the best time of our lives," I said trying to keep serious. I was sure I had some point, but it was slipping away. "We'll never be so… so young and free and careless and… and what's the word?"

"Drunk?" Emmett suggested and we bursted into laughter again.

"Give me that bottle," I said after we had calmed down again. Emmett handed me the bottle which was already almost empty and I took a long gulp.

"So tell me how you beat up Mike again," Emmett asked laughing.

"Well it was actually his fault, he started it," I said. Now the whole thing was starting to feel funny already. "I don't know why I got the detention, it's so unfair."

"Life's unfair, brother," Emmett said in a weird voice trying to sound clever but only managing to sound drunk.

After that neither of us said anything, we were just staring at the darkening sky until the bottle was empty – which was far too soon.

"Shit," Emmett said holding the bottle upside down above his mouth. "We need to get some more of this."

"I'm too tired to move," I mumbled.

"Me too," Emmett said. We were both quiet for a minute trying to find a solution to the problem.

"Call Rosalie to get us some more booze," I said after a while of thinking.

"Good idea," Emmett said grabbing his cell from his pocket.

"Hi Rose honey bunny, can you bring me and Edward some more booze, pleeease?" Emmett asked after she picked up.

Rosalie yelled so loud that even I could hear it. "Emmett you're such a dumb ass, you and Edward can pretty well get your own drinks, I'm your goddamn girlfriend, not your slave."

"But baby that's not what I –" but Rosalie had already hung up before Emmett had time to even end the sentence.

"I don't know what she got so upset about," Emmett said confused.

I laughed a little.

"What's so funny?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing. I don't know." I shook my head.

"Girls. They're so difficult," Emmett sighed. "How the fuck are you supposed to figure them out?"

"You're not supposed to," I said. "Just fuck them and get over it."

"Like you did with Bella?"

My expression immediately changed when he said the name. I knew Emmett sensed it too. "It was not like that with Bella."

"So what is it like with her?" Emmett asked frustrated. "Do you like love her or something? It's so frustrating to watch you fuck yourself up over this girl and I don't even know what's going on."

"No I don't love her," I said. "I can't love her. I don't want to love her."

"You're a fucking mess," Emmett said very politely.

"I know," I sighed, "a drunken mess right now. I'm going to go get us some more booze."

I rose up kind of clumsily and left Emmett behind lying on the sand already half asleep.

Bella's PoV

I had lost the track of time a long ago already. I and Rosalie were sitting by the sea and Jasper and Alice were making out further away and I was getting more drunk all the time. Everything was pretty peaceful.

"You know men are all just pigs," Rosalie said slurring slightly.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "Probably."

"You should never care about them, because they're designed to break your heart," she continued. "But still you can't live without them."

I turned to face her. "But have anyone every really broke your heart?"

"Oh Emmett has," Rosalie said laughing. "All the time."

"But really?" I asked. "You always know that he'll come back eventually, don't you?"

"Maybe," Rosalie said. "But do you think it doesn't hurt? Because it hurts every time, it never stops hurting. Love hurts."

"But it still can hurt, if it isn't love, right?" I asked.

"I don't know, not really. Then it is love, love in some form," Rosalie said thoughtfully.

Suddenly it was too much again. Too much to be in this night, sitting on the beach and watching the waves hitting the coast. "You know Rose, I have to go."

"What? Where are you going now?" she asked confused.

"To… get more booze," I said. I had meant to say to go home, but the thought of being alone with just my thoughts was still too much.

I walked few yards to the place where the actual party was. My head was blurry and everything was hovering. I guess I had drunken more that I thought I had.

"Hey, can you watch where you walk?" I heard an angry cry in front of me and only then realized that I had almost bumped into someone. "Oh, it's you."

I turned up my face and immediately took a step back. "Edward, what the hell are you doing here?"

"You know the usual, drinking, smoking running into you," Edward said shrugging.

"Well get lost, I need some more alcohol," I said irritated and tired and confused of being so close to him I could smell him. Soap and cigarettes and scotch mixed into his own scent. So damn sexy, so irresistible.

"Well, look what I have," Edward said waving a full Jack Daniel's bottle in front of me. "Come on now."

"I'm not coming anywhere with you," I said stubbornly.

"Yes you are, I need to talk to you," Edward said.

"Well I don't have anything to say to you and I don't feel like listening so –" I was already turning around when he grabbed my wrist into a firm grip.

"Edward, let go," I said slowly. "I don't have patience for this now."

"Neither do I so just follow me," Edward said and before I noticed it, he had started to drag me away from everyone else.

"Edward let go," I said furiously, "let go right now or I'll scream, I swear I will."

"No," Edward said dragging me behind him. We were already far away from everyone else.

"Fine then," I sucked my lungs full of air but before I had time to let out any noise at all Edward had silenced me. By pressing his mouth on my lips.

For a while I was so shocked I didn't do anything. Then I kissed him back, just for a while, I couldn't help it. But then I gave myself a mental slap and managed to pull myself away from him.

We were staring each other breathlessly. It was like the world had stopped for a while.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked. I noticed that his fingers were still around my wrist.

"Silencing you," he answered. "Come on now, I need to talk to you."

"Edward if you don't let go now, I'll sue you," I said in my most threatening tone. Which wasn't threatening enough, I was afraid.

"For what?" Edward asked chucking a little. I wasn't amused at all.

"Sexual molestation," I said. "Or kidnapping."

"Well that should be interesting," Edward said.

He was looking at me and I accidentally looked in his eyes. Everything was blurry and unclear but his eyes were clear enough and they made me realize how much I wanted him. Because from them I could see that he wanted me too. How was it possible? To be so angry at him and just want to press my body close to his and never let go at the same time. It was crazy.

"Okay, let's talk," Edward said. "Look, I'm sorry I beat up Newton – even though he deserved it – it was only because we were fighting over you, some girls would find that flattering."

"Well I'm not some girls," I said sourly.

"I know that," Edward said grinning. "So can we be friends?"

"You really thing we can be friends?" I almost laughed. "We've already tried that one and it didn't work out, did it?"

"That's because I want you, Bella," Edward said, perfectly serious now.

"Don't say that," I almost cried.

"Because you know you want me too." He's voice was an intense whisper. He put his arms around me slowly, this time I had time to get away from him but I didn't.

And then he kissed me again, sending so many emotions trough my body. I couldn't stop thinking about the ways he had hurt me.

"Don't you?" He whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck. "Don't you want me too, Bella?" he said in a challenging voice.

"I hate you," I whispered. "I want you, I hate you, I need you."

"And you can't let go," He said and it was true. Here I was again, after all this, in his arms, not control of my own body at all.

"I'll never do this again," I said pulling off his t-shirt gently. "Not after tonight." It was almost funny how much I sounded like an alcoholic in denial. Except that there wasn't anything funny about this at all.

"I know," Edward said as he unhooked my bra. "I won't make you. I know that I'm not good for you."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: _LilCullen454_, _ParamorFanFrLif_, _CassieCat97_, _Kammi93_, **_**loutombeth2619**_** (it's one of my favorites to! :D ) and the ****anonymous writer (by the way, I'm so touched you think this is better than twilight! :)) loved all your reviews. And thanks to all my other readers too, you're the thing that keeps me writing this, even when I feel like I'm not good enough.**

**I'm truly sorry this has taken so long, I've been meaning to post this chapter days ago, but I've just been so super busy again. (I know, a lame excuse, but so true :D)**

**There's going to be something rather surprising in this chapter... Can you guess what it is? :) And remember to review! Please? *puppy eyes* **

Chapter 15

**Bella's PoV**

My head felt heavy. Like I was under water or something. I knew exactly where I was though. I didn't even have to open my eyes. But I did, anyway. I could feel the sand against my back, we were lying beside some tree. I couldn't believe we had actually slept there the whole night. Edward was laying beside me, we both had some clothes on and the rest of them were somewhere around us. I couldn't even look at him.

I got up silently, careful not to wake him up. I was wearing only my knickers and his t-shirt. His scent was all over me.

I picked up my jeans and hopped into them as fast as I could. I didn't have any idea what time it was, but the sun was already shining bright and I had the feeling that I should have been at school.

But here I was yet again – sneaking away before Edward had woken up. Sneaking around like I didn't belong here.

I understood that this had to be the last time. I had to make the decision because apparently Edward was not capable of that. I had two options.

I could keep this up. Have Edward only when he felt like it; know that at some point we would always be back here. In each other's arms. But he would hurt me again, he would always hurt me, he just was that way.

Or I could let him go. Once and for all. Surely it would hurt even more, knowing that I could never hold him again, but it would fade away. I would forget him someday, of course I would and that would be better for all. I was strong enough to walk away.

I picked up my bag and threw a one more glance at Edward who was sleeping there, half naked and completely unaware and then left.

I was relieved to notice that the house was empty when I got there. I just changed my clothes quickly, threw Edward's t-shirt on my bed and pretended that it wasn't there, reminding me of last night, and then grabbed my school bag and left before Alice would start wondering where I was.

It was still already lunch break when I got to school.

"Hi," I said when I found her and Jasper in the cafeteria. I hardly saw those two apart from each other anymore.

"Hi," Alice answered.

I was expecting her to ask where I have been but she didn't say anything, she looked a bit absent-minded in fact, kind of pale.

"Is everything alright?" I asked frowning.

"Yeah," Alice said. "I just feel a little… sick. I guess I drunk a little too much last night."

"Maybe now you believe me when I'm trying to tell you that party at school night is not a good idea," I said.

"Of course I won't," Alice said. "It was so much fun – wait a minute I have to go throw up."

She run from the cafeteria, leaving me and Jasper staring after her.

"That was the second time today," Jasper said rolling his eyes. "Maybe I should take her home."

"Maybe."

When Alice got back looking even paler Jasper left to take her home and I left for my biology class.

I wasn't surprised to notice that Edward's seat was empty, actually I was relieved that he wasn't there. I really wasn't in the mood for seeing him.

However Mike and Jessica were sitting in front of me with equally sulky expressions on their faces.

"Where did you left Edward?" Mike asked when I sat down.

"I didn't left him anywhere," I said remembering how I had left him sleeping in the beach just a while ago. "And how should I know where he is, I don't care what he's doing."

"Right," Mike said.

"And what the fuck did you think you were doing ruining our group project?" I changed the subject quickly. "Who the hell starts a fight in front of a classroom?"

"That was so not my fault," Mike said before turning around again to look at the teacher.

"So today we're going to start with the rest of the presentations," Mr. Banner started and I immediately turned my brain off, too tired to pay attention to the class. I had turned into such a lousy student lately, but my head was still pounding and I felt a little nauseated, to me it was an accomplishment to even be at the classroom.

The rest of the school day went by pretty much the same way. When I finally got home again, I was glad to see that the house was empty and I was alone. I opened my laptop and finally started to do homework I should have done long ago. I didn't get it – how Alice and Rosalie never seemed to do any homework at all, but how they still never seemed to fall behind.

I had just started writing my English essay – it didn't actually make any sense but I just kept going – when the phone rang.

I check who was calling and then picked up. "Hi mom," I said smiling.

"Hi honey," mom said sounding a bit weird. "What's up?"

"Well nothing special," I lied. "Just got home a while ago, doing some homework."

"Okay," she said and I could hear her smiling. "That's nice."

"So how are you?" I asked after a short pause. "How are things with Phil?"

"That's actually why I called," mom said sounding a bit uneasy. "We broke up."

"_What_?"

"Yeah," she said and I could hear that she tried hard not to sound too sad.

"What happened?" I asked frowning.

"Well it just didn't work out between us after all," she said.

"Mom, you're married," I said frustrated. "You can't just break up with him when everything doesn't go as it should. You have to make it work." Why did she have to act so childishly? It was like I was the adult in our relationship. It just didn't work like that.

I heard her sighing heavily. "I know, honey. It just doesn't always go like that. But you know what's the good thing about this all?"

"What?" I asked not seeing what could possibly be good in her getting divorced – again.

"You can come back home, now," she said actually sounding excited first time in our conversation.

"What?" I asked quietly, like I didn't quite get what she was saying.

"Don't you see?" she said. "Everything can get back to how it was. It will be just you and me again."

"Mom," I said slowly. "Things can't go back to how they were. I'm living here now."

"But honey, you never really wanted to move there." She sounded confused. She really didn't get it.

"Maybe I want to live here now."

"But don't you remember how it was before? We were so happy. Just think about it, okay? Promise me you'll think about it, baby?"

"Okay mom," I said. "I'll think about it. I have to go now. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," she said sounding a little said, a little lost.

I laid down on my bed after throwing my cell to my desk. Even though I had said to mom that things could never be like they were before, bu what if I was wrong? What if I should move back to Forks? After all what did I have to hold me here? My friends who I already loved, but who I still had known only for a little while. And Edward – Edward who I'd be better without. Maybe it would make things a lot easier, not being so close to him. Not having to see him with someone else. Because that's what would happen, eventually.

Maybe moving back to Forks really was something I should consider.

"Do you know where Alice is?" I asked Jasper. I was sitting in English class with him and we were supposed to analyze our favorite classics in pairs but instead we were talking about everything else. "I haven't seen her the whole morning."

"Me neither," Jasper said. "She said that she's feeling sick, when I called her."

"Do you think she's alright?" I frowned. It was kind of unlike to Alice.

"I don't know," Jasper said looking a little worried too. "Maybe I should go check she's okay."

"Yeah, and I could stop by her place after school," I said.

Yeah," Jasper nodded. Then he continued after a while: "so what's up with you? We haven't really talked in a while."

"True," I said not meeting his eyes. "Everything's fine. Usual."

"And how are things with you and… Edward?" he asked studying my expression.

"Fine, everything's fine between us," I lied. I must have gotten quite good at it – lying to people, as I was doing it all the time lately. "I mean there's nothing between us. Anymore."

"Really? There isn't?" Jasper asked and I could see that he didn't believe me. I almost didn't believe myself either.

"No," I shook my head chuckling. "It was pretty stupid from the very beginning… Considering everything… but it doesn't even matter anymore."

"Okay," Jasper said quietly. "Just know that you can still always talk to me. I mean, I won't judge you or anything – "

"I know you won't," I interrupted him. "It's more that I'm judging myself."

Jasper looked like he was about to say something more, but that's when the teacher interrupted us and we didn't continue the conversation before the class was already over.

At lunch, when I was already sitting in our corner table with Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward it occurred to me that it was the first time I saw Edward after that beach party. He tried to pretend that I didn't exist at all and I tried my best to ignore him even though I missed him so much all the while he was sitting next to me. It made me think about my mother's call again, think how much easier it would be to not have to see him like this every day. When he wasn't even looking at me.

Otherwise the mood in our table wasn't the most cheery either much to the absence of Alice. Everyone was quite quiet and a little melancholy so I would have been relieved for the lunch break to be over if it wouldn't have been biology next.

I sat next to Edward in the back seat subconsciously pulling my chair away from him. He glanced at me and then turned his face away quickly. Jessica was looking at us seeming satisfied. Mr. Banner started the class and luckily we weren't doing any pair work today, so I didn't have to actually talk to Edward.

Not that I would have forgotten him, though. I was aware of him sitting next to me the whole class; my brain captured his every move like we had some kind of connection.

When the class was finally over he rushed out of the door before anyone else had even time to close their books. I stared after him and Mike gave me a meaningful look before walking out of the door behind Edward.

I left for my math class feeling somehow even worse than I had before.

After the school day I stopped by at Alice's house like I had said to Jasper. When Alice finally opened the door, I noticed immediately that she looked kind of strange and I was happy I'd decided to come check on her.

"Oh hi," Alice said trying to smile a little. She was looking kind of pale and bland, not at all like her usual shelf.

"What's going on?" I asked frowning.

"Nothing," she answered.

"Don't even try not to tell me," I said firmly. Whatever it is that made her so upset I would not let her deal with it by herself.

She sighed. "Come in."

I walked after her to their huge living room, which was so clean that it was almost impossible, that someone would actually use it.

"So do you want something? Juice, coke, coffee?" Alice asked.

"I don't want anything," I said sitting on the soft couch. "Tell me what's going on."

Alice sat beside me staring at her legs not saying anything. I started to get really worried, after some time of just sitting there quiet.

"Alice?"

"Well I –" she started but then suddenly she bursted into tears and collapsed against my shoulder. I automatically wrapped my arms tightly around her and patted her hair.

"Alice, honey? What's wrong?" I asked in a soft voice, starting to really get worried. "Tell me. It can't be anything so horrible, can it?"

"Yes it can," she sobbed against my shirt.

"Just tell me," I said pulling her a little away from me and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Everything will turn out okay."

"Just promise you won't judge me," Alice said grabbing my hand anxiously.

"I would never judge you," I said. Not now, anyway, when she was so broken.

"I'm pregnant." The words left a silence between us too. She glancing at my face to see my reaction and me slowly realizing what she had said.

"You…" I whispered. "Are…"

She nodded, looking at me her eyes pleading.

"But don't you use –?"

"Of course we do," she interrupted me quickly. "Maybe just not… like always."

"Oh Alice," I sighed.

"You promised," she reminded me. "You promised not to judge me."

I pulled her in for another hug. "Of course I'm not judging you. That could happen to anyone."

"But it happened to me," Alice sobbed again.

"It's not your fault," I said as calmly as I could. "You can't blame yourself."

"But I am," she said quietly. "Of course I'm blaming myself."

"It's not the end of the world. These things happen, you're going to get through this. I'm here for you," I said trying my best to hold my thought together for her. "And Jasper's here for you too. Have you told him already?"

"No," Alice shook her head. "How could I?"

"He's going to have to know, sooner or later," I said.

"No. You can't tell me, promise me you won't tell him," Alice panicked.

"Of course I won't tell him. I meant that you need to tell him," I sighed. "Come on, I'll make you some tea, and then we'll talk."

I tried to keep calm even though it felt like my head was spinning around. But I needed to hold us both together, like she had done for me for many times already. So I led her to their kitchen and made some vanilla tea like my mom used to do when I was little and then sat with her at the kitchen table.

"So have you though what you're going to do?" I asked as Alice stared at her mug like she didn't know what it was doing in front of her. "I mean you still have a lot of time to think but –"

"Do I really have any options?" Alice laughed miserably. "Like _I_ could have a baby. That's ridiculous."

"If you don't want to keep it, there's still options, like… adoption or something," I said.

She shook her head. "It wouldn't work out. I just need to… get it out of me." She whispered the last words as tears ran down her cheeks again. It was awful, watch her hurt like that.

"If that's your decision, I'll support you. I'll do anything, I'll come to the clinic with you, anything you need," I said. "Just think it trough. And talk with Jasper."

Alice shook her head. "I don't think I will."

"_What_?"

"You know Jasper," she said sounding desperate. "He's so gentle, so… good. It would break him. And I don't want to hurt him."

"I know," I said. "But you do understand that he needs to know?"

"That's what I'm trying to say," Alice cried. "He doesn't need to know! It would only hurt him, I would lose him. He doesn't need to live with this the rest of his life."

"He'll get over it," I pointed out. "Just like you will. Whatever you decide."

She just shook her head. "He won't. I don't want to make him go through this. You can't say anything to him! You promised me!"

"I know," I said already regretting that. "But I hope that you'll think about it and I hope that you'll tell him."

"Okay," Alice said suddenly sounding tired. I felt tired too. "I would want to be alone now."

I was quiet for a while, thinking if it was wise to let her be alone now. "Fine," I sighed. "But promise you call me if you need anything. Or if you don't, still call me."

"Fine," she said and stood up. "I'm tired. I'll go to sleep."

"Okay," I said and hugged her once more before left.

When I got home I found Sue at the kitchen dancing around in a complete mess. After a while I realized that it was her attempt of cooking.

"What're you doing?" I asked stopping at the kitchen door.

"Hi sweetie," she said smiling. "The dinner's almost ready."

"You don't cook," I pointed out looking around warily.

"Maybe I do now," she shrugged.

"Why are you cooking, Sue?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well I thought it would be nice to all eat together for once," Sue explained happily. "We're never together!"

"Right," I said.

"This is ready in a minute and your father should be home too," Sue said. "Isn't this nice? Just like a real family! Do you want to help me finish this?"

I stepped inside the kitchen that seemed to be in complete chaos and helped her finish the dinner. But I couldn't stop thinking about what she had said "just like a real family", because what else we were really, than three strangers, pretending to be a family.

I discovered that even though Sue could make quite a mess and managed to mix up the whole kitchen she still was a pretty good cook. When Charlie arrived we started eating with some necessary forced conversation. Sue and Charlie asked me about school and told me about their work or the charity events Sue was planning with her society friends.

As soon as we had eaten I escaped upstairs to my room. Only then I really had time to think about today. About Alice. I was just thinking if I should call her and check out if she was okay, when my phone rang.

"Hi Bella," Alice said as soon as I answered.

"Alice," I answered. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said a little too quickly. "No. I can't stand this anymore."

"Okay," I sighed. "Want me to come there?"

"Yeah," Alice said. Then she thought for a while. "Do you want to get drunk? I just wanna forget about this all."

"Alice, you're pregnant," I pointed out. "You're not supposed to drink."

She laughed bitterly. "Like it would matter now. I'm not going to be pregnant for that long right?"

"Well I guess you're right, but I don't think that's the wisest thing to do now." I tried to reason with her.

"Please Bella?" she asked sounding a bit desperate. "I promise I'll deal with this tomorrow. I'll call to the clinic tomorrow. I just can't deal with this right now. Please?"

I thought for a while. But after all, what harm could it be? "Okay then. I'll be there in a minute."

"Thanks Bella," Alice said quietly.

"Of course," I smiled before hanging up.

I picked up my hoodie and bag and run downstairs.

"I'll drop by at Alice's for a while, I'll be back soon," I shouted at Sue and Charlie and then I was out of the door before they had time to respond.

Alice was already waiting for me at the hallway when I got there.

"Hi," she said. "Let's get out of here before my parents get back from work."

"Okay," I said. "You haven't told them?"

"Of course not," Alice shook her head like I had said something completely ridiculous. "That would be a disaster."

"Don't you think your mom would understand?" I asked. If it was me I couldn't imagine not telling my mom.

Alice laughed a bit bitterly and stepped out of the door and into my car. "Of course she wouldn't. You've obviously never seen her if you think she would."

She was true. They never seemed to be at home. "Do _you_ even ever see her?" I asked as I started the car.

"Really I don't mind them being away so much," Alice said. "It's like having your own fancy house and two swimming pools and no one to tell you when you should come home."

I thought she wasn't completely honest about that. I thought she really missed them, at least at times.

"Come on, don't look so sad," she nudged my arm. "Besides why the hell would I need my parents, when I have the best friends in the world?"

"That's true, though," I grinned at her. "Where are we going by the way?"

"I don't know," Alice said like she only now happened to think about it. And probably she did. "And we don't even have anything to drink. Why didn't I take something from my parents?"

"Because you were too busy to get away," I said.

"True," Alice said. We were both quiet for a while, thinking. "Okay, Rose can help us."

"Or then we can just get back home and go to sleep," I suggested.

"Come on, Bella," Alice said.

"Fine," I sighed giving up.

An hour later we were sitting in Rosalie's living room drinking vodka with cranberry juice even though Alice would have preferred to drink it raw. We were lucky that Rosalie's parents happened to be away.

Rosalie handed Alice another glass and she emptied it right away and filled it again.

"Come on Alice," I said rolling my eyes. "Don't overreact."

"Whatever," Alice shrugged. "At least Rose doesn't think it's stupid to want to get drunk, because I'm seventeen and pregnant and my life sucks."

"Actually I do think it's stupid," Rosalie pointed out. "And your life does not suck."

Alice was about to say something to that when the doorbell rang. Rose jumped a little. "Shit. What if it's my parents?"

"Why would your parents ring the doorbell, they have keys," Alice giggled excited.

"What if they forgot their keys? You're not supposed to be here! Quickly, hide somewhere," Rose hissed marching to the door.

After a brief moment of consideration we decided to rush behind their couch. Alice giggled hysterically, still holding her glass.

"Come on Alice, this is serious," I whispered.

"Of course it is," Alice laughed and gulped the remaining of her drink down so that half of it spilled on me.

"Thanks," I said starting to giggle myself too. Guess I hadn't realized how much I'd drunk already.

"I'm sorry," she said and then slapped hand over her mouth when we heard footsteps coming towards the living room.

"Emmett, now's not really the best time," we heard Rosalie's voice and then we both bursted into laughter again.

"Uh? Rose honey? Why do you have two extremely tipsy girls hiding behind your couch?" Emmett asked confused.

"We thought you were her parents," I explained glancing at Emmett behind the couch.

"What are you two doing here?" Emmett asked.

"Well what does it look like?" Alice laughed rising her glass.

What did we look like indeed, I thought, two young, clueless and a little too drunk girls hiding behind a couch.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: _DanielleHalford_, _Kammi93_, _LilCullen454_, _CassieCat97_, _ParamorFanFrLif_ and _loutombeth2619 _thank you once again for your awesome reviews, honestly I wouldn't know what to do without you :)**

**I really hope you like this chapter and reviews are higly apprieciated, I really want to know what you think about this one :) Enjoy!**

Chapter 16

**Bella's PoV**

The night was turning into morning and I and Alice were lying on Rosalie's couch. She was crying hysterically and I tried my best to comfort her before I bursted into tears myself too. Some couple we were.

"My life sucks," Alice cried leaning against my shoulder.

"Your life does not suck," I sobbed. "You have everything, you're rich and beautiful and nice and funny and you have a wonderful boyfriend and awesome friends."

"But in the end I'm just a shallow slut who got herself pregnant," Alice said almost hysterically.

"Shut up guys, I'm trying to sleep," Rosalie mumbled from the floor and rolled away from us.

"That's so not true," I continued like I hadn't even heard her. "You didn't get yourself pregnant, Jasper got yourself pregnant. I doubt no one's ever managed to do it alone yet."

Alice let out a sob but it didn't take long until it had turned into laughter. "I suck," Alice giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world.

"Yes you do," Rosalie muttered.

"I suck too," I giggled. "You're not alone, sister."

"I know," she said hugging me. Then she bursted into tears again. "What am I going to do?"

"Just calm down, you'll figure it all out eventually," I said trying to sound calm and shooting. I only managed to sound tearful and drunk.

Alice started crying harder and I handed her a tissue.

"You two are impossible, you knew that?" Rosalie said finally giving up and got up from the floor and sat on the cough next to us. "Alice just try to forget it, okay? You can think about it all tomorrow."

"How am I supposed to forget it?" Alice asked hysterically. "I have another life inside of me. Do you think I could forger it even for a second? A baby living inside of me. My baby that I'm going to have to kill soon."

"Now your exaggerating, Alice," Rose tried again. "It's practically nothing more than a lump of cells yet."

"But it's mine and Jasper's lump of cells," Alice sobbed.

"I think we better go to sleep," I stated.

Rosalie glanced me irritated "Really? You think so?"

"No need to look so sulky, this wasn't my idea at the first place," I pointed out.

"Right," she rolled her eyes. "Love you guys, Good night."

Then she rolled back to the soft carpet on the floor and it only took couple of minutes before we were all asleep.

The next morning I and Alice were sipping coffee in Rosalie's kitchen. Rosalie had already left to school, because she had drunk a lot less than Alice and I, and we weren't in the condition to go to school just yet.

Neither of us was in the mood of talking, Alice was looking pale and sick and I felt a little hangover too.

"You know I need to call to the abortion clinic today," Alice said suddenly.

I turned to look at her. "Just think it trough, Alice. You're not in any hurry."

"As if I haven't thought it trough million times already," she sighed. "It's the only option."

"And you need to tell Jasper," I added.

Alice shook her head. "I just can't. Our relationship wouldn't be the same. And I need him so much already, I couldn't stand losing him too."

"You're not losing him, Alice," I tried to reason with her.

But then I happened to think about something. What if it would be Edward and me? What would I have done? Honestly, I don't think I would have told him. But it was so different; Jasper and Alice loved each other. They had a real relationship, something me and Edward would never have.

"You don't know, Bella. You can't know that. You just keep telling that everything is going to be alright, but you can't know that."

I was about to object. Tell her that everything _would_ be alright eventually. But she was right, how would I know?

"You're right," I sighed. "How would I know if anything is ever going to be okay again? But I'll be with you no matter what, so at least we're in this mess together."

Alice didn't say anything but she didn't have to because her eyes told me everything.

I managed to get to school at the end of the lunch break. Alice said that she didn't feel good enough to come yet. I didn't feel good enough either, but then again, Alice probably felt much worse and anyway I had skipped too much school already.

So I just went through the couple of hours I still had and was escaping back to my – or practically Sue's – car, when Jasper finally caught me.

"Hi," I said trying to sound cheerful and not like I had been avoiding him the whole day.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked. "Alice hasn't been in school for two days and she isn't answering to my texts and Rosalie's been acting weird the whole day and you've been avoiding me, so it's about time someone tells me what the fuck is going on here."

I jumped a little, even though Jasper wasn't even shouting at me. It was just that usually he was so calm. "Nothing's going on. I haven't been avoiding you. Alice is not at school because she has a hangover. And I don't know why Rose is acting weird, maybe she's hangover too." I had to admit I was becoming pretty good in all this lying.

"Bella…" Jasper sighed.

Well maybe not so good then.

"I'm going to find out, sooner or later," he said. "So you might as well tell me."

"I can't," I shook my head. "Trust me I would, but I can't."

Then I opened the door and hopped inside the car before Jasper had time to ask any more questions.

When I got home and to my own room Alice called me.

"I did it," she said breathlessly. "I called to the abortion clinic."

"You did? You sure this is what you want?" I asked and sat on my bed. "What did they say?"

"I have time at Saturday," she said quietly. "You'll come with me, will you?"

"Of course," I said immediately. "Jasper might want to come too, you know?" I added.

"Bella, please…" Alice said.

"He was asking about you today," I told her.

I heard her sigh. "I need to call him, I know."

I couldn't agree more. "Well do that. I'll talk to you later."

Alice didn't come to school for the rest of the week. She made Jasper some kind of excuse about stomach flu and made me and Rosalie promise to stick with it. Jasper seemed to believe it alright but I felt horrible lying to him. I wouldn't have done it to anyone else than Alice, even though I didn't agree with her about not telling him.

Saturday morning I woke up around 7 AM feeling kind of restless. After a while I realized that it was pointless to try to fall asleep so I got up. After I had showered, got dressed, done my hair twice and cleaned my room it was only 9.20 and I had run out of things to do.

So I just called Alice.

"Can you come here already?" she asked sounding unusually small and young. "I'm alone at home and I… don't want to be alone."

"Of course," I answered. "I'll be right there."

On my way to the front door I realized that Charlie and Sue were already awake and sipping coffee in the kitchen.

"Bella," Sue called when she noticed me. "We were just talking with your dad, we should do something fun together, as a family."

I raised my eyebrows.

"So what do you say?" Sue asked apparently waiting for my response.

"Yeah, sure," I said. "But not today."

"Why not?" Charlie asked.

"Well… I've already promised to be with Alice," I said. That wasn't lying; I just didn't feel the need to tell what we were doing. "But maybe some other day."

"Yeah, maybe," he said. He looked kind of gloomy. "You know your mother's been calling. She said you could move back to Forks."

"Oh," I said not knowing what I should have said.

"So are you going to? Move back?"

"Would you want me to?" I asked. If he did, I couldn't really blame him, he hasn't been much of a father to me, but I haven't been the best daughter either.

"No, of course we don't want you to move back," Sue said quickly. "Things are so much fun when you're around. It's good to have a teenager in the house."

"Right," I laughed not quite believing her.

"Sue's right, of course we don't want you to go," Charlie said. "You just got here."

I didn't know why they would want to have me here, I was rarely ever home nowadays or when I was I was just locked in my own room.

"Okay, I –" I wasn't sure what to say. With Alice's pregnancy and everything I hadn't even had time to think about the whole thing. "But I have to go now. Let's talk more later, right?"

"Okay," Charlie said.

"Have fun with Alice," Sue added.

"Of course," I said waving my hand as I went out. Fun indeed.

Alice wrapped her arms around me right when I got inside.

"Are you scared?" I asked.

"I don't know," she sighed. "Maybe a little."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked again.

"Yes. Of course it is. There's no other option," Alice said leading me to the kitchen.

"Then call Jasper. There's still time," I tried once more.

She shook her head. "I won't. It's not his problem. I won't make it his problem."

"Yes it is. He would want you to tell him." I said.

"Bella, please don't hate me," Alice said grabbing my hand. "I wouldn't stand you hating me too; I'm just trying to protect him."

"No one's hating you," I sighed, "but Jasper is a big boy, he doesn't need your protection."

"He doesn't need to know," Alice said firmly and even though I knew it was wrong, I also knew that I had no idea how hard this was for her so I didn't want to push her.

We sat at their kitchen drinking coffee, before it was time to go.

"Isn't Rose coming?" I asked.

"No," Alice shook her head. "She was supposed to but then she had some fight with Emmett and everything and I told her she doesn't need to come."

"They're fighting again?" I asked.

Alice shrugged. "Guess so."

"Why is it that everyone's fighting or breaking up?" I sighed.

**Edward's PoV**

Saturday morning I woke up restless and only a little hangover. And feeling oddly lonely, in a way that I hadn't felt in a long time. I put on a pair of sweatpants and sufficiently clean-looking t-shirt and wandered downstairs only to notice that I was alone again. I didn't mind it, though, me and my parents were never the kind of family who would have sat together eating breakfast at Saturday morning. Though, maybe that was because I wasn't usually at home or in a condition to eat anything at Saturday morning.

I poured some already cold coffee in a cup and sat at the kitchen table. The feeling of being completely alone didn't leave me. It had been almost a week now and I hadn't talked to Bella. I hadn't touched her, I had barely even looked at her. Nothing. And to be honest it was wearing me out. It's like I needed this girl, to feel – complete. It sounded fucking ridiculous even to my half-asleep hangover mind. But the truth was that I couldn't get her out of my mind and even though I hated to admit it, she was the reason I felt so shitty and hangover every morning, even though I barely felt like drinking, since the beach party. It seemed like the Edward who didn't care had disappeared somewhere and I desperately wanted that Edward back.

I heard my phone ringing somewhere upstairs and I dug it up from my bed and answered.

"Hi Edward," Emmett said.

"Hi man, you sound terrible," I said.

"Thanks, I feel terrible," Emmett groaned. "I think I broke up with Rose or something."

"What? You think?"

"Yeah, I don't practically remember, but it was bad," Emmett sighed. "I think she hit me."

"Oh Gosh," I sighed. "You okay?"

"I don't know," he said. "I've called her like ten times already but she won't pick up. Man, I couldn't stand losing her."

"Okay, calm down, take some painkillers and go visit her," I said trying to sound like the responsible mature friend. "And try not to look like some crazy stalker, or her neighbors are gonna call the police. Do you want me to come there?"

"No, I'm okay," Emmett said sounding not like okay.

"You sure?" I asked once more.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he said. I had known Emmett half of my life and over that time we had learned to know when the other one wanted the other one around or when he wanted to be alone. And right now he wanted to be alone.

"Okay, I call you later," I said hanging up.

I felt even more horrible after that call. I squeezed the phone inside my palm, hoping that I had the power to crush it into dust. But hoping even more that I had the power to make it all alright. Hoping that I could do – something.

Suddenly I just knew I had to talk to Bella. I didn't know what I was going to say but I needed to talk to her, hear her voice, anything.

I saw that my phone was low on battery, but I still had time to make one call. I dialed her number, waited for a second to consider why I was doing this before I called her. Maybe it was explained by me being hangover and Emmett fighting with Rosalie again, because sometimes we did that, adopted each other's moods subconsciously.

I waited tapping my finger on my bedside table, which was covered with empty bottles, some occasional schoolbook I almost never opened and some empty plates.

She didn't pick up.

"Fuck," I muttered to myself. I needed to talk to her.

But I didn't have time to call again, when Rosalie called me.

She sounded teary and upset when I picked up. "Hi Edward," she said weekly. "Has Emmett said you anything about us?"

"Are you alright?" I frowned.

"I don't know," she sobbed. "I'm a mess. Emmett left me. Or I'm pretty sure he did. I don't know!"

"Okay, calm down," I sighed. "I'm sure he didn't mean it."

"Of course he meant it," Rosalie wept. "Who would want me anyway?"

"Sure he wants you, he loves you, calm down," I sighed. "Do you know where Bella is?"

"She's at the abortion clinic," Rosalie said still crying so hard I could hardly make up what she was saying.

"_What_?" I breathed almost choking.

We were both silent. Me just taking in her words and she seemed to finally stop sobbing.

"Edward?" she asked.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I asked slowly.

"I said that she was at the abortion clinic," Rosalie said in and explaining tone. "But don't get upset, it's not – "

I didn't hear the end of the sentence because that was when my phone's battery died.

But it didn't matter anyway. What was she going to say? That it wasn't a big deal? Big deal to whom? To Bella? To her? To me?

Of course it was a big deal. Bella was fucking pregnant. It was a fucking huge deal.

I sat on my bed. Everything seemed hovering, I almost couldn't feel the floor under my feet. Bella was pregnant. Seriously, _pregnant_?

And how did that happen? And how the fuck did I have no idea?

I was maybe the worst person on earth. And Bella was the second worse. Who the hell wouldn't have told –

Or what if the baby wasn't mine? That was a horrible idea. I thought I should have been relieved, but I wasn't. The thought of Bella being with someone else… But it was impossible, I knew her. Or at least I liked to make myself believe that I knew her, and the Bella, I knew, my Bella, couldn't have done it.

But she didn't even tell me! How could she not tell me?

Even though I didn't know what we would have done together, after all – me and Bella raising a baby that even sounded ridiculous.

Anyway, she should have told me, it's not like it wasn't my business. Okay, maybe she didn't want me there holding her hand, considering everything, but she should have given me the change to offer being with her holding her hand.

Damn, I should be there holding her hand.

I froze. Maybe I still had time to be there. Without thinking anything, I grabbed my jacket and car keys and was outside before a single thought had time to form in my head.

I knew where she was, there was an abortion clinic quite near our school, every once in a while there was gossip about some girl going there. She had to be there.

I didn't have time to think, whether or not I should have done it, or even if it was too late already, I just knew I had to try. I never managed to do anything right, I had lost Bella, just before I realized that she meant something to me. That I did care. And I had to do _something_.

**Bella's PoV**

I held Alice's hand, when we had stepped inside the clinic. It was so white, so clinical that it was scary. Alice looked pale too.

The waiting room was quiet. There were couple of women, all of them looked older than us and a couple of them were giving us a disapproval look. Who were they to judge, I thought, they were here for the exactly same reason.

Alice had to fill in about half a dozen forms and then we were lead back to wait in the waiting room.

Alice tapped the floor with her foot looking slightly nauseated.

"Are you okay?" I whispered grabbing her hand.

"Yeah," she breathed back to me. "I think so. I will be."

"It will be okay," I promised her once again.

After about ten minutes of waiting a smiling nurse came to call her in.

I was about to stand up too, but the nurse gave me an apologizing smile. "You can't come with her."

Alice was looking at me with panic in her eyes.

I squeezed her hand once more before letting go. "You'll be alright."

She disappeared behind one of the doors and I was left alone. It felt kind of surreal. To suddenly be sitting in an abortion clinic's waiting room. Nothing in my life was same again. Suddenly I longed back to Forks, back to my own room, back to our old but comfy couch laughing at silly romantic comedies with my mom at Saturday night. Back to when life was simple.

Soon I lost track of time sitting there. It felt like hours but when I looked at the clock only ten minutes had passed.

How long would it be before it was over?

I was already deeply in my thought when a loud bang from the door woke me. I turned around and almost fell off my chair when I saw who had just stepped inside the waiting room.

I had to blink few times just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating but he didn't disappear. Instead he started walking towards me as soon as he saw me. He looked weird, to be honest, it kind of scared me, he looked so – shocked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked almost whispering when he was standing in front of me.

He chuckled almost hysterically. "What am I doing here? What are _you_ doing here?"

"Edward? What's happening? Why are you being so weird?" I asked standing up. I noticed that the other women were already starting to stare.

"Why am I being weird?" Edward said. "Honestly, Bella. How can you say that? I know I probably never treated you the way I should, but you're not doing the right thing either."

"What? What are you even accusing me of?" I said stunned. "Edward, you don't have any right to come here yelling at me. How did you even know where I was? And what the hell made you think this was the best situation to discuss about us. You're so twisted."

"So now I'm the one who's twisted," Edward said bitterly. "It's like I don't know you at all."

I didn't know what it was, but something in his words made me immediately burst into tears, and once it had started I couldn't control it. Something in this utterly surreal situation was just too much to handle.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Edward muttered glancing around him suddenly aware of a whole roomful of women staring at us. Even the nurse had stopped pretending that she was working and stared at our little scene. "It's probably the hormones."

"What fucking _hormones_?" I yelled at him. "Because if you are referring to PMS or something like that you guys always try to use as an excuse for making girls cry, I can tell you, that I don't like you at any stage of my menstruation circle."

So now we were talking about my periods? I must be dreaming.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Edward asked sounding slightly panicked. "Are you sure you're not on some medicine."

"So now you think I'm a drug addict to?" I sobbed. "What the hell makes you think that you have the right to come here and accuse me of God knows what right now when everything is already a mess."

"Well what makes you think it's right to make theses fucking decisions, without even _telling me_?" he shouted at my face. "I understand that I don't have any right to decide, but you could have at least told me!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I yelled back at him. I didn't have any idea what he meant but I knew it was too much right now.

"Well you didn't think it would be fair to let me know there's our baby growing inside of you, before you go on and kill it," Edward said.

I gasped taking a step back. The whole room was holding their breath like some kind of live soap opera.

"You… you," I said weakly. I didn't know which was more shocking, he thinking that I was pregnant, or that he was so hypocritically judging me. Even if that would have been exactly the situation, he wouldn't have had any right to say those things.

"Okay, I'm sorry, that came out meaner than I thought," he backed off realizing that too.

"How can you even say that?" I whispered. "Your unbelievable, hypocrite fucking bastard. Like you would even care. You don't even know how many girls you've already knocked up."

He was just staring at me like he didn't understand what I was saying.

"You don't have any right to blame me for anything," I said. "You should have known better, I was stupid falling into your bed time after time, but you could have stopped it too, if you didn't care about me. Okay, maybe I made a mistake, but I cared about you, you can never say that I didn´t"

He closed his eyes taking a step forward, reaching out like he wanted to touch me but didn't quite know how.

"Why do you have to be such a mess, Edward?" I cried out. "I was fine without you. I was perfectly fine, I didn't need you. I don't like needing you."

"But you can't keep blaming me about that," Edward said angrily. Like he couldn't quite decide, if he wanted to be angry for me or not. "I never lied to you. I never promised anything. I warned you. What else should I have done? I never claimed to be anything else than I am?"

"Then why are you doing this?" I cried. I was yelling out of frustration and anger and hurt. "Why are you pretending to care now when you think I'm pregnant? Why would you ever care?"

He shouted his next words so loudly I was positive the whole hospital heard.

"Because I fucking love you, Bella."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Cool, so many reviews! _DanielleHalford_, _CassieCat97_, _LilCullen454_, _ParamorFanFrLif_, _Kammi93_, _loutombeth2619_, _GreenConverse23_, _ilOVEyOUh.1001_, _EvenstarSinger_, _RogueRaina_ and _.x _thank you all so much for reviewing, I love to read your opinions :) Also thanks to all those who put this in their alert of favorite lists!**

**Here's the next one, don't forget to tell me what you think about it!**

Chapter 17

**Bella's PoV**

It was like the whole world had stopped. I breathed in quickly. Everything was spinning around. I couldn't feel the floor under my feet.

I was staring at him and he was staring back at me. The whole room was holding breath. Everything was still, motionless.

It was like someone had hit the pause button.

Except that this wasn't a movie. This was life. And life can never stop.

And that was when Alice stepped in to the waiting room, looking pale and serious. Her eyes moved from me to Edward and back.

"What's happening here?" she whispered.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said.

I threw one more horrified look at Edward, who hadn't moved or talked, grabbed Alice's wrist and ran out of the clinic and out of the completely surreal situation.

I didn't stop until we were back at Alice's car. I closed my eyes.

"Bella what's wrong? What happened? What's Edward doing here?" Alice asked confused.

"He – he thinks I'm pregnant," I told her weakly. "And he said he loves me."

"_What_?" Alice cried out. "Why the hell he thinks you're pregnant?"

"And why the hell he said he loved me?" I whispered. The words were repeating over and over in my head.

"If he says so, he has to mean it. Or at least he thinks he means it," Alice said sounding tired.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said thinking how selfish I was, thinking about me, when she'd just gone through abortion. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, I guess," she sighed. "I just want to be alone, can you take me home?"

"Okay, sure," I said.

We didn't speak much during the ride to Alice's home.

"You sure you don't want me to come inside?" I asked.

Alice shook her head stepping out of the car. "No I'm fine. Go home, talk with Edward. I'll call you."

"Okay. Bye."

I drove back to my house and was relieved to notice that Charlie and Sue had left somewhere. When I was finally back in my own room, sitting in my bed, I felt more lost than in a long time.

I let out a deep sigh and before I knew it tears were running down my cheeks again. I had become such a weeper recently.

Slowly I opened the bottom drawer of my desk. There, on top of some of my schoolbooks was Edward's t-shirt, the one I had put on that night at the beach. I pressed it against my face. It still smelled like him, only a little, but still enough. I couldn't help thinking how pathetic I was, sniffing his t-shirt like some Jane Austen character or whatever. I was supposed to be independent woman, just like my mother always taught me, I didn't need him. Except that I did.

I was just about to put the shirt back to my drawer when my phone rang. After searching a while I located it from the bottom of my bag. After seeing who it was, I had to think for a second whether I wanted to answer it or not.

"Hi Edward," I said trying to sound careless and wiping tears off of my face.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Edward sighed. "I didn't mean it."

"You didn't mean it?" I chuckled. "That's just what a girl wants to hear after a guy tells her he loves her."

"No, I meant I did mean it I just didn't mean to say it, I mean… I don't know!" he said. "Shit, why I can't do anything right?"

"Yeah," I said. Why couldn't neither of us do anything right?

"But I didn't mean to judge you because of the abortion – or anything, I don't have right to judge anyone I – "

"For God's sake Edward, I'm not fucking pregnant!" I yelled out frustrated.

There was a long silence on the other side of the phone.

"What?"

"I. Am. Not. Pregnant," I said loudly. "It was Alice who was pregnant. Where the hell you even got the idea of me being pregnant?"

"Well Rosalie said something about you being in an abortion clinic and I guess I made some rushed conclusions," Edward said quietly. "You're not pregnant?"

"No, I'm not."

"Wait a minute," Edward said. "_Alice_ is pregnant? How could I not know that Alice is pregnant?"

"Was," I corrected. "Was pregnant."

"Right," Edward said.

It took him a while to get his thought clear before he continued. "Look, Bella, we need to talk, I could come there or – "

"No," I interrupted him quickly. "I just need time. And apparently you need time too, to think this trough, to figure out what you want."

"I want you."

"Don't say that," I whispered. "And I meant wanting in more ways than one."

"Bella, I – "

"Please, Edward. I'll see you later." Then I hung up, before he had time to say anything more. Before he had time to get me make bad decisions, like he had so many times. I had to make some wise decisions once. And he wasn't helping.

I was still holding his t-shirt between my hands. It was black and a little rough and I didn't seem to be able to let go. A little like Edward, I thought chuckling.

I heard the front door open and Charlie and Sue stepped in chattering cheerfully. I sighed. So much for peace and silence.

"Bella?" Sue called.

"I'm here," I called reluctantly walking downstairs.

"Did you have fun with Alice?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah."

"You know we were thinking about eating out tonight. Of course I could make something, but I don't really feel like it, you're coming with us?" Sue asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," I shrugged.

We went to a small Italian place by the beach. I basically moved my ravioli around on my plate as Charlie and Sue ate and chattered. I guess I should have tried to be more social, but my head was just too full of thoughts.

When we finally got back to home it was quite late already.

"I'm going to go to sleep," I said quickly and went back to my room.

I thought about calling to Alice, but I didn't want to bother her if she was already sleeping, and after all, she hadn't called me, so I guessed everything was alright with her.

I laid on my bed and grabbed a book from the bedside table. We were reading _Catcher in the Rye _for English class.

I managed to read couple of pages before I noticed that I didn't actually remember anything about what I was reading. I felt somehow… restless, incomplete.

I threw the book onto the floor and turned off the lights.

It was dark and quiet except the quiet voices of Charlie and Sue who were still talking downstairs.

For the first time I really felt like I belonged here, not in Forks, anymore, but here, in California. It was strange. But kind of nice.

It took a long time for me to fall asleep.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I was thinking about a dream I had seen. I couldn't quite remember it but I felt somehow weird however. Like I was missing something.

I ate breakfast with Charlie and Sue, none of spoke much, and when we'd eaten, they left to see some of their friends and I escaped back to my room.

As soon as I opened my laptop meaning to finally concentrate on homework, my phone rang. It was Rosalie.

"Hi, Rose. What's up?"

"Bella," she sounded sad. "I just needed to talk to someone. I fought with Emmett again and I don't know if this is going anywhere, I'm so… lost."

"Calm down, honey. Tell me what happened," I told her.

"Well, Friday night we were drunk and we were fighting and I don't really remember much of it, but then Saturday he came to talk to me and we were supposed to make out, but it only got worse, and I have been awake the whole night, just thinking about us. I can't stand losing him."

"You're not losing him, you two figure it out, you always do, eventually," I said.

"I'm not so sure," she sighed. "Not this time."

"Why everything has to be so difficult?" I asked feeling miserable too. For myself, for Rosalie, I didn't even know. "Why can't people just be with each other?"

"I don't know," Rosalie sobbed. "Bella, if you ever find someone – someone you really care about. Hold on to that, just hold on. Don't screw it up like I did."

I stared at the computer screen in front of me, not really seeing it. Don't screw it up?

"Bella? Are you there?" Rosalie sounded worried.

"I – " I whispered. _Don't screw it up_. Was I screwing this?

"Rosalie?" I said.

"Yes?"

"I have to go," I said standing up. "There's something I have to do. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah," Rosalie said sounding worried. "Where are you going?"

"I just have to… do something. It's important. I'll see you later."

I was out the door and in the car, before I had time to think.

"What am I doing?" I whispered only when I was already outside Edward's house. The truth is, I didn't know. But it was okay, I realized. I don't always have to know, sometimes it's okay to just go where life is taking you and not worry so much about everything. All I knew is I needed to see Edward, I needed to talk to him.

At the front door I felt more and more nervous. I hoped his parents weren't at home, as I rung the doorbell.

Of course his mother answered the door.

"Oh, Bella," she said looking at me up and down. "How… nice to see you."

"Hi," I breathed, trying not to blush. "Is Edward home?"

"Yes," she said. "Edward, your _friend_ is here."

I heard him coming down the stairs and after a while he was standing in front of me.

"Oh," he said.

"I'm going to leave you two alone," Esme said and backed off, looking at me.

We were standing there staring at each other and suddenly I couldn't remember anything to say, my head was completely empty.

"You're mother thinks I'm an awful whore," I said finally. What a charming opening line.

"No, she doesn't," he said.

"Well you can't exactly say that I'm her favorite person," I said sarcastically.

Edward smiled. "Maybe not, but you know, she'll get over it. And besides your father doesn't like me either."

"You haven't even met my father," I pointed out.

"But he will think I'm a jerk. It's his father instincts," Edward said.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe that we were here talking about our parents.

"Maybe we should go to my room," Edward said.

"Okay," I said nervously.

I climbed upstairs behind him and stepped inside his room for the first time. I didn't know what I was expecting, but it looked just like his room. It was a little messy, but not too much, one wall was covered with CDs and an extremely expensive looking CD player and another had a big window and a wide sill. His bed was big and soft-looking and it was covered with dark blue cover.

All in all his room was quite nice.

"Bella," Edward started staring out of the window.

"Edward," I said sitting on the edge of his bed.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know," I whispered.

"I want you," he said. "I'm not going to lie to you about that, or about anything. I can't promise that this is going to work out but I – I can't promise you anything."

He looked a little sad.

"You know that I needed you," I said only a little angry. "You know that I still do, and you always knew that you meant more to me than I meant to you, so don't try to pretend you didn't"

"I didn't. I didn't know anything. I didn't even know what I wanted," Edward said.

I stood up and walked to the window next to him. "Don't tell me you didn't know that you were hurting me."

"I'm sorry," he said turning to look at me. "I'm sorry, but I care about you, I really do. I want you. Do you want me?"

"Do you think I would be here if I didn't?" I asked.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked.

"Trust," I cried out frustrated. "That's the fucking problem."

"So you don't trust me? Well, I don't know what I can do about that, you just have to deal with it."

"I don't trust us." I said. "I don't trust that we'll ever learn to be with each other right, and I don't know if I can try and fail anymore."

"Bella, why do you have to be so careful?" Edward sighed grabbing my hand. "You wanted something real? Well this is real. It's not perfect, but it's life. Life's not fucking perfect."

"Is any of this real?" I cried again, the tears bursting out, but I hardly even noticed them, because I was staring at Edward's eyes and they were almost too green.

"You're the realest thing I've ever had," Edward said.

He was pulling me closer to him; I didn't know whether it was subconscious or intended, but I didn't care either way.

"I don't want to give up," I whispered finally. Maybe I didn't need more time to figure it out. Maybe I didn't need to know what I wanted. I knew that I didn't want to lose him and maybe it was enough.

"Then I'm not letting go," Edward murmured into my ear and wrapped his arms around me. He felt warm and soft and I pressed my chin against his shoulder.

We stayed like that for a long time, the sunshine from his window shining over us, it was so bright, I had to close my eyes.

He breathed almost at the same time with me.

Finally he pulled me away, so that I saw his face again.

"We'll figure it all out somehow," Edward promised.

"Yes."

"You know, the thing that I said at the clinic?" he continued.

"Yes?"

"I meant it. But I'm not going to say it again, unless you say it too."

I smiled. "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I love you."

It was Sunday night and I was at some party with Rosalie and Alice. Rosalie was miserable and Alice didn't want to be alone so we had ended up here and even though it was Sunday evening I didn't really mind.

It was weird, how everything had turned upside down suddenly, how now Alice was quiet and serious but I felt… happier. I was scared, but happy.

"Do you think it'll ever get easier?" Alice asked.

"What?"

"Life."

I shrugged. "Maybe. Or then we'll just get better at it."

"Or learn to live with it all," Alice said turning the glass in her hand.

"Yeah," I answered.

"You know, I feel empty," Alice said after a moment of silence. "It's funny, really, I should feel normal again, but I feel empty."

I didn't know what to say to that, I hadn't ever felt empty that way, so I just wrapped my arms around her. "You'll feel full again."

Rosalie came back from the ladies room holding too glasses. She handed the other one to me.

"Thanks," I said.

"I saw Jasper," Rosalie said sitting next to Alice. "He asked where you were. Said that you've been avoiding him."

Alice was quiet for a long time. "I feel awful," she confessed finally. "I thought I was doing the right thing that he'd really be better off not knowing, but now I just feel awful."

"It's not too late to tell him," I said.

"Yeah, it is kind of too late," Alice said.

We fell into silence again until I saw Jessica walking past us. When she noticed me a mean grin appeared in her face.

"What's with her?" I asked frowning at Alice.

Alice looked uneasy. "Well, maybe she's heard – "

But Alice didn't have time to end the sentence until Jessica opened her mouth.

"Isn't that kind of irresponsible?" she said slowly. "Drinking when you're in that… condition."

"What the –" I started puzzled but she had already walked away.

I turned to look at Alice and Rosalie. "And what was that supposed to mean?"

"Well, there might be a change that she's heard –" Rosalie started.

"About a rumor," Alice continued, "of you being pregnant."

"_What_?" I was staring at them and only after a while realized that my mouth was hanging open. "Why there would be such a rumor."

"Well, I don't know, but if we conclude about the way you and Edward were yelling at the clinic, there's a fair change someone might have heard."

"Shit," I said when the whole situation started to clear up to me.

Alice smiled sadly. "I'm sorry. "It seems like I manage to fuck up everything these days."

"Oh no, Alice, it's not your fault. Of course it's not," I said quickly. "It's my fault, I was the one who made a scene in the middle of an abortion clinic. And maybe Edward's fault a little, for rushing there in the first place. But not yours."

"But you wouldn't have been there in the first place if it weren't for me," Alice objected.

"Stop it, Alice. Don't even try to blame yourself, I won't let you," I said firmly.

"Okay," Alice sighed. "And don't worry, it's just one gossip among others, everyone will forget soon."

"Right," I sighed. "This is just what I need now."

"Well, I wish people only _thought_ I was pregnant," Alice said quietly.

"Oh, Alice, I'm so sorry," I said. "I didn't mean it that way – "

"It's alright," she chuckled. "I know what you meant."

"Aren't we a weird group," Rosalie laughed bitterly. "I wouldn't be able to hold myself together if it weren't for you guys."

"Me neither," Alice said.

"Me neither," I answered, touchy because of late night and my second glass of punch.

"Emmett," Rosalie breathed nodding towards the door where Emmett and Jasper were talking to each other.

"Jasper," Alice said slightly hysterical. "I don't want to talk to him."

At that moment Jasper turned and saw us.

"Too late," I said. Jasper was already coming at our direction but Emmett was looking unsure.

"Go talk to him," I pushed Rosalie.

"I can't," she whispered.

"Bella, Jasper is coming here! What am I going to say to him?" Alice sounded panicked.

"Just be normal," I said. "Rose, Go!"

"I can't," Rosalie said.

"Yes you can. You don't want to lose him and he doesn't want to lose you. Now, go," I told her. "And Alice, try not to look so guilty."

"Oh, right," Alice said. "Hi Jasper."

I smiled at him and pulled Rosalie up. "Hi Jasper, we were just leaving."

"Alice, why you have been avoiding me?" Jasper sounded angry.

"I haven't been avoiding you," Alice said in a tiny voice.

"Don't even try to deny it," Jasper said. "Because if you don't want to be with me, just say it."

"Oh no, Jasper I – "

"Tell him," I mouthed to Alice and pulled Rose away.

When we were a little away from them I turned to look at Rosalie. "You have to talk to him. I can't make you do it now, but at some point you have to talk to him."

She was staring at me for a while and to my horror, tears started pouring from her eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry, Rose, why does everything have to be such a mess?" I sighed hugging her.

"I guess that's just life," Rosalie smiled a little. "I want to go home."

"Me too," I sighed. I turned to look at Alice and Jasper who seemed to have a fight going on. Jasper was shouting to Alice, that she didn't trust him, and Alice was shouting something about Jasper being an overprotective fool.

"Ouch," Rosalie said empathically. "Looks nasty."

"It does," I sighed. "But there's nothing we can do about it now."

"You're right. Come on, you want a drive home?" Rosa asked walking towards the door.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Or actually – can you drop me at Edward's?"

Rosalie turned to look at me as we stepped outside. "Why?"

"I don't know, I just... I guess I just want to see him," I shrugged.

"So you two are alright again?" Rosalie raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, guess we are," I said smiling.

Rose stopped at Edward's and I jumped out of the car after saying good night to Rosalie.

I only started feeling nervous when I was sneaking across their front yard like some crazy stalker and realized that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. But maybe it was the punch or everyone fighting, but suddenly I missed him.

When I was standing under Edward's window, I picked a few pebbles sent a silent prayer above that I hadn't counted the windows wrong and did something I'd never done before.

Edward opened the window after I had thrown the third pebble and my heart almost stopped beating for a while as horrible images about his mother opening the window ran through my head.

Edward looked down at me surprised.

I grinned a little awkwardly. "Hi."

He chuckled soundlessly. "Wait there, I'll open the door."

I waited for a while until he came downstairs and opened the front door. Since there weren't any trees near his window, like mine, apparently I had to use more ordinary ways to get in.

"Hi," Edward said standing at the doorway, wearing light blue pajama pants and a white t-shirt and looking unbelievably cute.

"Hi," I said again.

"What are you doing here?" Edward grinned.

"I have absolutely no idea," I said shaking my head.

"Come on in," Edward said pulling me inside and closing the door behind him. "We have to be quiet though, my parents are sleeping."

"Okay," I whispered excited.

We tiptoed back to his room. His laptop was open at his desk and his bedside lamp was on.

I sat at the edge of his bed. "What were you doing before I got here?" I asked.

"Nothing much," he said. "Getting bored. I'm glad that you came." He sat at the bed beside me.

"What were you doing before you came here?" he asked.

"Nothing much," I answered. "Getting bored. I was at some party, I was actually surprised that you weren't there. Your getting old and boring, aren't you?" I asked in a teasing voice.

"I'll show you boring," Edward said and before I had time to react, he was already tickling me.

That led to a quick but intense silent wrestling match that ended with me begging for mercy at the floor.

Edward helped me up and I fell on the bed again. It felt so natural to be with him right now.

"Honestly speaking, I got scared because everyone was having fights," I confessed looking at Edward. "And I needed some reassurance."

"Come here," Edward said and pulled me close to him. "We'll have our fights, plenty of them, I'm sure we do. We're not even close to perfect, I mean, come on, I'm probably the most imperfect boyfriend there is, but we're going to be okay."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I was thinking about the word he had slipped probably accidentally. _Boyfriend_.

"No," Edward whispered kissing my lips lightly. "But you don't always have to be."

"Okay," I said closing my eyes, suddenly tired. Edward was playing with my hair and I rested my head against his chest.

This was my life, I thought sleepily. Not perfect, but sometimes pretty close.

**A/N: Remember to review and make one hard-working fanfiction writer happy :D**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you _ilOVEyOUh.1001_, ****_DanielleHalford_ (You're right, every review count and I love all of them!), _Kammi93_, _ube9_, _LilCullen454_ and _CheyRose. _I feel like I'm just repeating myself when I say that your opinions and support really mean a lot to me. Keep going guys, you rock! :)**

**I should probably warn you, that there's not going to be many more chapters in this story anymore. I wouldn't want to let go of these characters just yet, but I feel like this story is almost told :)  
And by the way: I love to listen to music when I'm writing, go check my Game of Love playlist on my profile :)  
Hope you enjoy this chap!**

Chapter 18

**Edward's PoV**

I opened my eyes slowly and it took me a while to remember why I was sleeping next to Bella Swan again. Not that I would have been particularly surprised, it looked alarmingly like it was turning into something like habit. This was kind of different from the other times, though, I realized. Because now we were actually wearing clothes. I couldn't believe that I had slept with her the whole night and _not_ had sex with her. Well, we'd get to that later; after all, we had all the time in the world.

My arms were still wrapped tightly around her and she had pressed her face against my chest. Her hair looked like a haystack and it was absolutely adorable. I couldn't help noticing how cute she looked when she was sleeping. So innocent and a little child-like.

It was totally creeping me out, though. One minute I was the normal Edward who did not care, and the next I was so… involved with her. It was all going way too fast and sometimes I just wanted to run like I always did.

But I couldn't, even if I would have really wanted to. There was something in the way she was curled up against me, like she really trusted me and even I realized that I was holding something precious. Something I had already hurt and now if she was ready to try to trust me again I didn't have the right to get scared.

"Edward?" Bella mumbled against my t-shirt.

"Morning, sunshine," I smiled.

"Ugh," she yawned. "What's the clock?"

I glanced at my phone on the bedside table. "Half past nine."

"Shit, we're supposed to be at school!" she jumped up and looked at me with her big brown eyes. I couldn't help but chuckle, she was so sweet with her hair sticking out in every possible direction and a startled expression in her face and her eyes still sleepy.

"We'll have plenty of time to get there later," I said.

She rolled her eyes. "I get kicked out of that school if I miss any more classed. In fact, I can't figure out how you haven't got kicked out yet?"

"It's a talent," I winked at her.

"You and your talents," Bella mumbled. "We should get going."

I was about to convince her to stay for a while, when both of us jumped and turned to look at the door.

"Edward, are you awake? Aren't you supposed to be at school?" my mom asked climbing up the stairs.

"Fuck," Bella whispered looking at me horrified. "What is your mom going to think if she sees me? She's going to hate me even more."

I had to think quickly. "Hide. In my closet."

"Okay," Bella said and jumped off the bed and straight into the closet. She closed the door with a loud bang, which was followed with a series of smaller thumps.

"Ouch, shit," Bella mumbled.

I tried not to laugh. "I'm sorry. It's kind of messy," I whispered.

Bella didn't have time to answer because exactly then my mom opened the door to my room.

"Edward? What are you doing, aren't you supposed to be at school? And what's with the noise?"

"I was just going, mom," I sighed trying to look bored and irritated that she couldn't leave me alone.

"What were you doing here?" she was squinting her eyes suspiciously. "You've been acting so weird lately, I'm telling you, if you're involved with drugs again, I swear I'm – "

We both jumped a little when there was another loud bang from the wardrobe.

"Mom, I'm not involved with drugs and I've never been," I said quickly, pointing the end of the sentence to my closet. "I was just cleaning my wardrobe," I said to mom.

"Right. I have to get to work and you'd better get your ass to school right now." She threw one more we're-going-to-talk-about-this-later –look into my direction before she was gone.

Bella waited until she heard the front door closing before she came out of the closet. Approximately half of my wardrobe fell off on the floor with her.

"What's with the you being into drugs thing?" was her first question.

I rolled my eyes. "It was a misconception a long time ago, and my mom ended up thinking that I and Emmett were doing drugs. Why would you listen to what my mom says, she doesn't even like you."

"I know," she said a bit sadly.

"But she will," I said quickly pulling her close to me. "As soon as she gets to know you."

"Hope so," she smiled and I couldn't help but be a little dazzled by her smile. There was something in her smile that made me instantly happier, and while it sounded fucking ridiculous it was also true.

**Bella's PoV**

I had been at school for only couple of hours but I was already getting ready to go home. As if Mondays weren't enough to deal with, I found out that Rosalie and Alice hadn't been exaggerating about there being a rumor of my supposed pregnancy. It seemed like every single student in Huntington Beach High was talking about it. I had heard whispered conversations like: "do you think she's going to keep it," or "I would have Edward's babies any time," or "haven't they heard about birth control," wherever I went. It was starting to get really annoying.

I tried to close my ears and sat next to Jasper at English class.

"Hi," I said exhausted.

"Hi," Jasper answered looking just as tired.

"You okay?" I asked turning to look at him.

"I'm fine," he said little sullen. "If someone would mind telling why everyone says you're having Edward's baby and what the hell is wrong with Alice."

"Oh Jasper," I sighed. "I'm not having Edward's baby." That was about all I could say. Concluding form Jasper's expression it wasn't enough for him.

"Jasper, you should really talk to Alice yourself," I sighed finally. "I'm not going to tell you anything she's not telling you."

"Like I haven't tried to talk to her," Jasper said frustrated. The teacher threw us a warning look.

Jasper turned to look at me and lowered his voice. "Look, I really care about Alice. And I have the feeling that everything is not okay with her and she won't tell me anything, do you have any idea how frustrating it is?"

I looked at Jasper only now fully realizing what he was feeling. How he was worried about Alice, but really hurt too, that Alice didn't trust him.

"I'll talk to her," I said finally.

"Thank you," Jasper said, only a little tense, almost like saying it wasn't enough.

"But Alice is having kind of hard time right now," I added quickly. "Don't get too mad."

"Why would I get mad at her?" Jasper asked and I realized I had already said too much.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "Mr. Mason is looking angry; I think he's losing his temper soon." I turned to glance trough my copy of _Cather in the Rye_ and we didn't talk much for the rest of the hour.

I met Edward in front of the biology class. He pulled me against his chest to kiss me straight on the lips. I got kind of carried away and after I parted from him again I realized the kiss had lasted a bit longer than was appropriate in a school corridor.

I saw two freshman girls watching us their eyes big.

"I didn't know he was together with that slut," the other one whispered into the other girl's ear, apparently oblivious that I and Edward could hear.

"She's pregnant, didn't you know? Everyone's talking about it," the other girl whispered.

"Really? Do you think they're going to keep it?"

From Edward's expression I could see that he had heard his share of pregnancy comments too. He turned around to smile at the girls.

"Yeah, we're going to keep it. We're going to call him Edward Jr. and then we're going to make lots of other babies and maybe adopt some too," Edward said in his most sweet voice.

The girls looked absolutely horrified. I didn't even feel sorry for them.

"And by the way, don't ever call Bella slut again, because she's many times better than you two together, and much prettier too," Edward said looking completely serious now, before turning back to me. "Don't worry about them."

"I don't," I said and oddly enough it was true, I didn't. "They're just jealous anyway."

Edward rolled his eyes but he didn't say anything, because then Mr. Banner let us inside the classroom. Mike didn't say anything, but he threw me long glances; he had heard too, of course.

"This sucks," I whispered to Edward. I didn't really care about what people thought apart from my friends, but it still wasn't nice that the whole school thought I was pregnant, when I really wasn't.

He squeezed my hand and it made me feel better.

Mr. Banner started to talk about today's subject and I understood that it had something to do with photosynthesis but I couldn't really keep up.

"I'm bored," Edward sighed in my ear.

I rolled my eyes. "Surprise, surprise."

"Wanna get out of here?"

"No," I said slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Just try to behave and after this class you can go home again."

"I don't want to go home," Edward whined like a little child and made me laugh quietly.

"You're impossible," I said.

"Have you counted how many time's you've said that to me?" Edward asked. "Because I'm sure you've broken some records there."

"It's true, though," I said.

"But you do love me, though," Edward said smugly.

I smiled. It was weird, him whispering it so casually in the back of a biology class. It was amazing, I realized, I'd never loved anyone quite like that before. "I do," I said. It was scary as hell and wonderful.

"Love me enough to sneak out of the classroom with me?" Edward asked.

"No," I laughed. "Love me enough to endure the rest of the class with me?" I asked.

"I'll try my best," Edward said.

We survived the rest of the class and then the schooldays was finally over.

"Do you want to come over at my place?" Edward asked.

"I should probably go home," I said.

"I'll see you at Lauren Mallory's party tonight, then?" Edward asked.

"Lauren Mallory's throwing a party, _again_?" I asked.

"Yeah, don't you remember how much fun the last one was?" Edward asked winking at me. I blushed, I did remember about half-accidentally having drunken sex with Edward again. The next morning it hadn't felt fun at all.

"You're coming, right?" Edward asked.

"Fine, then," I sighed.

"I'll pick you up," Edward said, kissed me and went to his car.

I was on my way to mine, when I finally saw Alice. I grabbed her arm.

"Alice, you have to tell him!" I said.

"What, Bella?" she asked puzzled.

"You have to tell Jasper, he's really worried about you, and if you don't, you're going to lose him," I said quickly.

"Bella, I can't," Alice whispered horrified.

"Alice, please," I said a little desperately. "You are both my friends, and it's hard watching you do this to each other. You have to trust him!"

"I do trust him," Alice said. "It's me I don't trust. I don't trust that I'm enough to him."

"He loves you," I said.

We stared at each other for a while. Finally Alice nodded.

"Alright, I'll tell him," she said quietly.

"Good," I said hugging her quickly before we went to our cars.

No one was home when I got there. I fixed myself something to eat and brought it up to my room. I opened my laptop and did some homework only half-concentrating. A while ago I didn't feel like going to Lauren's party at all, but now I was actually waiting to go, staying at home alone the whole night, didn't seem tempting anymore.

I put on a pair of black shorts – that I thought actually belonged to Alice but had somehow ended up in my closet – and a dark green top, put on some make up and brushed my hair and was ready by the time Edward rang the doorbell.

Since Charlie and Sue still weren't at home, I left them a note and was out of the door.

"Hi," I said hopping into his car.

Edward smiled at me and pulled off from our driveway.

Lauren Mallory's house was already full when we got there. We hoped out of the car and Edward took my hand. I was once again surprised how natural that felt. I never thought of Edward being the hand-holding type.

The music was loud and the dance floor full. That was actually where I found Alice and Rosalie. I grabbed Alice's arm.

"Did you tell him?" I asked in a low voice.

"I tried," Alice said. "But I couldn't. I'm going to; I'm just waiting for the right moment."

"Okay, just don't wait too long," I said.

Alice was about to say something more but that was when Rosalie wrapped her arms around us both and pulled us into a drunken hug.

"Bella, I'm drunk," she said and kind of cried and laughed at the same time.

"I can see," I said holding her up, because she obviously had hard time staying in upright position by herself.

"I miss Emmett," she said tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Go tell him that," I said finally dragging her out of the dance floor and into one of the couches with Alice.

"I can't," Rosalie said miserably.

"Okay, you guys need to seriously get a grip," I said sitting between Alice and Rosalie. "You need to hold on to your guys. I mean, look at me and Edward, I thought I was going to lose him, but look how fine we're doing now."

"Yeah, until Edward decides again, that he's not ready for commitment and runs away with some random girl," Rosalie spoke out my biggest fear, apparently too drunk to notice that it was kind of awful thing to say.

"That was really mean, but I'm going to forgive you, because you're so drunk," I said.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Rosalie said. "I mess up everything. Edward's never going to leave you, he loves you, he's not like Emmett..."

"Okay, shut up, Rosie," I said pulling her up from the couch. "Enough of the self-pity, go find Emmett." I pushed her on the back.

"And you, go find Jasper," I said turning to look at Alice. "I'll go find Edward."

After few hours and few too many drinks later I was sitting by Lauren Mallory's pool talking with Mike. I didn't have any idea why I had ended up talking with Mike, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was nicely drunk already. I didn't mean to drink, at least that much, but it wasn't actually easy to stay sober in a party in Edward's company. But now I had lost Edward somewhere again and I was talking with Mike Newton.

"Is it true?" Mike asked finally.

"Is what true?"

"That you're pregnant for Edward," Mike said little awkwardly.

"No!" I said quickly. "Gosh, Mike, of course not! You should know better than listen to some stupid gossip."

Mike looked somewhat relieved. "But you two are together now, right?"

"I don't know," I haven't really considered it like that yet. I really didn't know what Edward and I were. It was so complicated. But I did love Edward and apparently he loved me, so guess that's what it was called then. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"That's cool," Mike said.

"Is it?" I turned to look at Mike, kicking my foot in the water.

Mike shrugged. "Well, it's not like I have any chance over the infamous Edward Cullen."

"Oh, Mike, don't feel like that," I sighed. "You wouldn't have really wanted me, anyway. You can do so much better."

Mike chuckled, but didn't say anything.

"Anyway, I think I'm going to go find Edward," I said, stood up and walked back inside swaying a little.

I didn't find Edward in the living room or kitchen, so I looked through the bedrooms and guest rooms.

I was about to open the door to another room, when I heard two voices from the other side of it. It didn't take long for me to notice that they belonged to Alice and Jasper. And obviously they were fighting.

"How can you do that? How can you just keep something like that secret?" Jasper shouted sounding not at all like his usual self.

"I tried to protect you," Alice said. It seemed like she was crying."You didn't need to know."

"I don't need your protection. You don't have the right to decide what I need to know and what I don't need to know. It's not like it didn't belong to me," Jasper said.

"But I felt awful," Alice sobbed. "And I didn't want you to feel like that."

"How do you think I'm feeling now, then?" Jasper asked.

"Jasper please," Alice whispered. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Well you weren't. You are so not the person I thought you were," Jasper said coldly.

"Please, Jazz, wait – "

I had hardly time to step back, as Jasper slammed the door open.

"And you," he snapped noticing me standing in front of the door and trying not to look like I had been eavesdropping. "I can't believe you didn't let me know."

He ran off before I had time to even open my mouth.

Alice ran out of the room too, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Alice look –" I started, but she didn't seem to even notice me as she run after Jasper.

"Shit," I sighed.

"There you are, I've been looking you forever," Edward said wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh Edward," I said miserably. "I think I just ruined Alice and Jasper's relationship."

"What?" Edward asked frowning.

"Well I told Alice to tell Jasper that she was pregnant and now they're fighting," I sighed pressing my chin against Edward's shoulder.

"You're not ruining their relationship, they're doing it all by themselves."

"No they're not, it's my fault," I said stubbornly.

"It's not your fault, stop blaming yourself for stupid things," Edward said annoyed.

"I'm not," I said. "You smell like scotch."

"Well surprise," Edward said. "This is a party, people get drunk."

"Why you're always drinking scotch, it's not even good," I said tired and irritated and drunk.

"Why you're always picking up fights?" Edward asked still hugging me.

"I'm not!" I said.

Edward sighed. "This is stupid."

"You are stupid."

"You sound like three year old," Edward said.

"Why exactly are we fighting?" I asked sniffing his neck, it didn't smell that bad.

"I don't know, can we stop now?" Edward asked kissing my ear.

"Okay."

We went back to the living room and found Rosalie and Emmett making out in the corner. I raised my eyebrows.

"Get a room," Edward grinned at Emmett.

"Shut up," Emmett answered.

"We seriously need to stop doing this crazy break up and make up stuff all over again," Rosalie said sounding breathless and drunk.

"We will," Emmett said. "Just not now."

Edward gave Emmett the thumps up behind Rosalie's back and I pulled him away, giving the two of them some privacy. They looked like they needed it.

"Come on Edward, let's go home, I'm tired," I yawned.

"And I'm drunk," Edward pointed out really cleverly.

"I can see that," I giggled. "Me too."

"Meaning that I can't drive," he added.

"Oh," I said. Apparently I was the one who didn't think logically. "Me neither."

"Come on," Edward said and grabbed my hand like he'd had a really good idea. He led me up the stairs again explaining his plan. "We can take a nap in one of the guest rooms, and then we'll be sober enough to drive."

"Edward this is so not going to work," I yawned as Edward pushed me inside the room. "I'm sure Lauren wouldn't want us to –" but suddenly I realized that I was too tired to do anything else, so I gave up and lied down on the bed.

"I'm far too tired to argue with you," I mumbled.

"I knew it," Edward said triumphantly.

I punched him on the shoulder. "This has been a pretty weird day," I sighed.

"Yep," Edward said. He said something else too, but I didn't hear that, because I was already asleep.

I was late for school and a little hangover again. Besides everyone was still giving me the there-goes-the-pregnant-girl – look and that was seriously irritating. This was so not going to be my day. But after all, what can you expect after waking up in Lauren Mallory's guest room at 8.40 AM. As I had thought, our nap had turned into a whole night.

Everyone else seemed to be a little exhausted too. Jasper didn't say anything during the whole lunch break, and he looked pale and tired. Alice didn't show up during the whole day. Edward looked hangover. Rosalie and Emmett were the only ones who looked happy.

After the last hour I couldn't wait to get home. Charlie and Sue wouldn't probably be home, so I could just eat a few painkillers and take a nap, without having to be sociable. I would have to call to Alice first, though, I thought as I hopped out of my car in our driveway, check if she was doing okay.

I opened the front door with a sigh.

"Bella?" I heard Charlie's voice from the living room. So I wasn't even alone at home. This was so my luck, usually Charlie wasn't home yet.

"Yeah, it's me," I said.

"Would you come here, Bella?" Sue said. So they were both home. Were they having a day off at the same time? Usually they were never home in the middle of the day.

"Yeah," I picked up my bag and stepped inside the living room. Only to notice that they weren't alone.

"Mom!" I cried out dropping my bag on the living room floor with a loud bang. I considered the option that I had started hallucinating since there was no way my mom would have suddenly appeared sitting on Charlie's living room couch in California. "What are you doing here?"

I noticed that they were all looking kind of serious.

"Is everything alright? Has something happened?" I started to get nervous.

"Yes, honey, everything is fine. You'd better sit down," mom said smiling a little nervously.

I sat down in one of the armchairs. The three of them were all still looking at me like I had suddenly grown horns.

I sighed frustrated, when everyone was still quiet. "Could someone please explain what's going on here?"

**A/N: So what do you think, why is Renee there? ;)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: _Kammi93_, _ilOVEyOUh.1001_, _DanielleHalford_ (you can say it as many times as you want to, I still find it awesome :D) and _BellaLaila87_ thanks for your comments! Loved them all! **

**Okay guys, this is the second last chapter, so only one chapter after this! :/ Hope you like it and really really hope you review! :)**

Chapter 19

**Bella's PoV**

Sue poured me some coffee, but that irritated me even more, because more than I wanted coffee, I would have wanted to know, what my mom was doing here and why did they all look at me like I might explode in front of their eyes.

"Come on, this is getting ridiculous. Is something wrong or what?" I asked.

Sue smiled at me. "It's okay, honey. You don't have to pretend anymore, I just wanted to say that we know.

"_What_?" This was getting more bizarre by the minute.

"We know about the pregnancy," my mom said in a firm voice. "And we just want to help you."

I couldn't make any noise even if I'd wanted to. I couldn't even move my mouth. It was like I had transported into another universe or something.

"And I must say, it came to me as quite a shock and we don't want to judge you, but we're just worried about you," Charlie added.

"Yeah, and I'm afraid that you've really crossed some limits there," my mom continued. "Charlie and Sue told me what's been going on here. It seems like you're never at home and all the spending nights away and partying and drinking… and now this pregnancy, Bella, it has to stop."

"You gotta be kidding me," I breathed.

"I know it must be really confusing, suddenly getting so much freedom – and I totally admit, me and your father must've been wrong about that – but it's gotten really clear, that you need some more rules now," Sue said.

"I know you're not a child anymore, but you're not an adult either, Bella," my mom continued right were Sue had stopped. It was as if they had practiced it all before.

"Okay just wait a second," I said trying to make sense of everything.

"Yeah, and Charlie has been telling me about this Edward," mom said. "He doesn't sound like a nice boy at all. And besides he and his friends have had problems with the police here before; I'm concerned about you keeping that kind of company."

"Really, this is crazy," I said. "And where have you even heard that I am pregnant. Why does _everyone_ have to think I'm pregnant?" This was really starting to be too much for me.

"Bella, these things doesn't stay secret for long," Sue said tenderly. "So have you thought are you going to keep – "

"I am not fucking pregnant!" I found myself yelling once again.

It was followed by a very shocked silence.

"Bella!" mom said finally giving me her disapproving look. I guess I hadn't been cursing that much while I had lived with her.

"You're not pregnant?" Charlie asked. I could see that the color was slowly coming back to his pale face. Now that it looked like his seventeen-year-old daughter wasn't pregnant after all, he seemed to breathe more freely.

"No, I'm not. It's all just a mean rumor someone has been spreading," I said. I didn't feel that it was necessary to tell them more about the origins of the rumor.

My mom was still watching me with a concerned look in her face. "I don't think California is good for you. You've changed so much, I mean, look at your clothes, for example."

I looked down. I was wearing Edward's white t-shirt that was so thin that my black bra was showing trough and a pair of black shorts I had been wearing at the party yesterday. My mind had been so occupied with other thought that I hadn't paid much attention to what I was wearing until now.

"These are not my clothes," I explained quickly. "I was spending the night at Alice's place and we were late for school so I just loaned something from her closet."

"It's not the point, Bella. The point is that you've changed, it's like I don't even know you anymore. And I think it's time for you to move back to Forks."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "I'm not moving back."

"Oh yes you are."

"Oh come on, mom. You think you can just send me off to California when I don't get along with your husband and then decide that you suddenly want me back home," I said really angry now. "And you know what; yeah, I've changed. For once I actually have friends, people who care about me and for once I'm actually enjoying my life, doing something else than reading books, you know. And I'm not coming back to live with you."

With that I jumped up, grabbed my bag and run right out of the door again.

I was in my car before I had time to form any more sensible thoughts. I just needed a break. It didn't take long until I was in Alice's driveway. I rang her doorbell hoping that she would be home. After a long while the door opened and Alice stepped out.

"Oh, it's you," she said, sounding a little disappointed. I noticed that she looked pale and her eyes were red, she was wearing old shabby sweatpants and a worn out t-shirt. Something she wouldn't wear unless something was really wrong.

"Who do you think it would be?" I asked, thought I thought I already knew the answer.

"Do you want to come inside?" Alice sighed.

"Yeah. Are you alone?" I asked as I stepped inside.

"Yep," she said closing the door and slogged back to the living room couch were she had apparently spend the whole day, according to the crumpled tissues and empty ice cream boxes.

"Alice, you're a mess," I said hugging her.

"I know," she said her eyes filled with tears. "Jasper left me."

"Oh, Alice, I'm so, so sorry," sighed sitting next to her on the couch.

"Why are you here, Bella?" Alice asked.

"Well I meant to check on you," I said like I had originally meant before there were… obstacles. "And I couldn't be at home anymore."

"Why?" Alice asked.

I shook my head. "Never mind that, it's not important. Let's talk about you."

"I don't want to talk about me," Alice sobbed. "I've been thinking about me the whole day. I need distraction."

"Fine then." I told her the story about getting home and seeing my mom in the living room and how they all thought that I was pregnant, trying to make it sound as funny as I could, but she didn't even smile.

"That's awful," Alice said. "And it's all my fault."

"No, Alice, of course it's not your fault," I said quickly. "How my parents being idiots would have anything to do with you?"

"But if it weren't for me, they wouldn't think you're pregnant at the first place," Alice said miserably.

"Alice you have to stop that," I said taking her hand. "Okay, you feel guilt, and that's perfectly understandable and I would probably feel the same, but you can't blame yourself about things that are not your fault, and this is one of them."

Alice smiled at me. "You really are the best friend."

I shook my head. "Not any better than you and Rosalie."

"Have you talked to her by the way?" Alice asked.

"Well not much," I shrugged. "But she seems to be with Emmett again."

"_Again_?" Alice rolled her eyes. "They should really get married, it's not like they're going to get rid of each other soon or anything."

I laughed. "True enough."

Then we were both quiet. I turned to look at her. "Do you mind if I spend the afternoon here?"

"Of course, I'm sure there're still some sad movies I haven't watched and I have tissues and chocolate ice cream for you too. Let's get miserable and fat together," she said sounding the most exited she had today.

She jumped off of the couch and game back soon, carrying two spoons, huge box of ice cream, a pack of tissues and _West Side Story_ DVD in her hands.

"Great," I said and took a better position on the couch. "That's just what I need."

"The ending was so sad, they should have been together forever," Alice wept against my shoulder. After about half a dozen movies the afternoon was turning into evening and I had almost forgotten about my own problems.

"Why did he have to die?" I cried too, tears rolling down my cheek as my phone rang.

"Hi Edward," I sniffed.

"Bella?" Edward sounded worried. "You sound weird. Have you been crying? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," I sobbed wiping the tears from my checks. "I was just watching _P.S. I Love You_ with Alice and it was so sad, when Gerry died and Holly was left all alone."

"Um, Okay…" Edward said clearly questioning my sanity. "I was just wondering if you would like to come at my place? You know my parents are gone and I'm bored."

"Okay," I said.

"But you don't have to come," Edward said sounding unsure. "If you have some girly crying-over-sad-movies –ritual going on with Alice."

I had to laugh at that. "It's alright I was just leaving anyway. I'll see you in a moment."

I hugged Alice goodbye, asked for a millionth time if she was alright and finally left.

When I got there, Edward opened the door and let me inside.

"So what would you want to do?" Edward asked once we were in his room. "We could watch a movie but from what I've heard, you've already watched some movies today."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah."

"What's going on with Alice anyway?" Edward asked sitting on his bed. "It's like we never really talk anymore.

I sighed. Edward sounded worried. And to be honest, I was really worried about her too, abortion and breaking up with Jasper, I was afraid that it would all be too much for her. "Well, you know," I said. "This abortion thing, it's not necessarily something you want to talk with a guy… and the same goes for her breaking up with Jasper, they're girl things."

"I kind of get him, thought," Edward said after a while. "Not that I'm criticizing Alice, but I would be really mad after something like that too."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I think that's clear to everyone now," I said sarcastically. "Which reminds me: now my mother is here, because she thought I was pregnant and she wants to save me and take me back to Forks."

"What?" Edward frowned.

"Yeah, and they all basically think that you're a bad influence and probably don't want me to see you ever again."

"So what are they going to do? Force you to go back to Forks?" Edward frowned.

I shrugged. "I don't know, I left before they got to that part."

Edward started to look worried.

I laughed, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "Come on, don't look so pale, I can always run away and move in to your closet, right?"

Edward smiled a little. "Still, it's not good that your parents hate me."

"Well your mom hates me too," I said.

"She doesn't hate you!" Edward claimed so quickly that I had to laugh.

Before I had time to argue with him anymore he pulled me in a hug and kissed me so gently it made my head spin around little.

"I missed you," Edward whispered.

"Come on, we only saw couple of hours ago," I rolled my eyes.

"Well, still," Edward said kissing my neck.

I laughed even though my breathing was fastening. "Come on, don't get all sugary on me, it doesn't suit you," I said, not admitting that I had missed him a little too.

"Fine," Edward said and after that I couldn't say anything anymore, because he was kissing me hard on the lips.

He pulled off my shirt and suddenly I started to feel a little nervous. Well, it definitely wasn't like we wouldn't have had sex before, it was just that… we had never had it exactly like that before. Every time we had been either drunk or otherwise messed up but this was so different. And it hadn't been anything more that sex – at least not officially – but now, now we loved each other.

Or maybe, just maybe I had loved Edward all along. From the very first time we met or the first time we kissed… Is it even possible to fell in love with someone just like that, I always thought that it was something that took time.

Edward was just kissing my left ear and I was starting to relax when the phone ring.

"Shit," I said reaching for it from Edward's desk.

"Don't answer it," Edward sighed.

I looked who was calling and shut down the phone and threw it on the other side of the room after seeing it was mom.

"So where were we?" I whispered wrapping my hands around him.

The clock was ticking close to midnight and we were still lying in Edward's bed. My mom was calling again. Until now I had stubbornly refused to pick up her but now I sighed and grabbed my phone.

"Maybe I should answer until she gets too worried," I said.

"Maybe," Edward said. "I don't want them to send the police after me."

"Don't exaggerate," I said. "And my dad _is_ the police."

Edward grinned. "Exactly."

"Hi mom," I said in the phone.

"Thank God, Bella," my mom said and I heard that she sounded really relieved and I felt a little guilty about not telling where I was. "I was so worried. Where _are_ you?"

"What do you think?" I asked. "At Edward's place of course. Making some more babies."

"Bella, please," mom said. "Come here, we can talk."

"I'm not coming," I said and sat at the bed only then remembering that I still wasn't wearing that much clothes. I pulled the cover tightly around me. "Because you know what, I'm tired of doing everything you want me to do. I maight come tomorrow thought, and yeah we can talk if you're actually interested in listening me, but I'm not going back to Forks."

"Bella, honey, listen – "

"Don't you 'Bella honey' me," I said. "I really don't want to talk about this now. I'll see you later."

I hung up before she had any more time to try to convince me.

"Wow," Edward grinned. "You're pretty tough when you want to."

I punched him playfully on the shoulder. "You don't want to mess with me."

"I think I'll take my chances," Edward said and pulled me close to him again.

**Edward's PoV**

Waking up with Bella had somehow become a big part of my life. She was curled in the bed, her feet against my back, so that I almost fell off of the bed. It was early in the morning and she was still fast asleep, but despite the fact that we had gone to bed quite late, I couldn't fell asleep anymore.

Finally I gave up and got up from the bed. After hesitating a while I called Alice.

She answered immediately and didn't sound sleepy at all, so I figured out I wasn't the only one who was awake.

"Hi Edward," she said.

"Hi, how are you Alice?"

"I'm fine," she sighed. "You know, you don't have to pretend to care just because I had an abortion and my boyfriend left me."

"Cut the crap Alice, you know I care," I said.

There was a little silence before she answered. "I'm sorry. I'm not in the best mood."

"Whatever, come here, I'm bored," I said.

"Aren't you with Bella?" she asked.

"Yeah, but she's asleep. And besides we haven't really talked in ages," I said.

Alice seemed to conceder this for a while. "Fine, I see you in few minutes," she said before hanging up.

I threw the phone on my desk and quickly changed my pajama pants into jeans and a tee.

It didn't take long before Alice rung the doorbell.

When I opened the door I noticed that she looked pale and had dark circles around her eyes. Something that was very unlikely to her.

"So what's up with you and Jasper?" I asked as we climbed upstairs to my room. "Do I have to kick his ass?"

"Come on, Edward, you can't do that every time a guy breaks up with me," Alice said. "And besides it was my own fault."

"Because I would," I said like I hadn't heard her. "Just a word and I would."

"You don't have to kick anyone's ass," Alice said and lay down on the bed beside Bella. Luckily they were both small and my bed was pretty big.

Alice looked at Bella who was still asleep. "You're not going to hurt her anymore, are you?" Alice asked, serious now.

"I never planned to," I said.

"Because then I will kick _your_ ass."

"Will you kick her ass, if she hurts me?" I asked.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yeah, definitely."

"But seriously, get your shit together with Jasper, I don't want to see you get hurt," I said.

"Believe me, I don't like it either," Alice said closing her eyes.

Bella snorted cutely and wrapped her arms around Alice. "Edward, what's the clock?"

She opened her eyes with a confused look. "What the hell?" she asked realizing that she was looking into Alice's eyes.

"Good morning, Bella," Alice said.

"What are you doing in Edward's bed?" Bella asked.

"Well in case you didn't know, Edward likes to have several women in his bed at the same time," Alice winked at her.

Bella threw a pillow against her face and that led to a quick pillow fight.

"Well excuse me ladies but I need some breakfast," I said and went to the kitchen, thinking that things had turned out pretty much okay after all. Or at least I did have two girls having a pillow fight in my bed, something that most guys would be quite prod of

**Bella's PoV**

I was a little nervous when I went to home after school that day. My mom was waiting for me but I didn't see Charlie or Sue anywhere.

"Hi," I said as I stepped in.

"Hi," she said. It sounded more like a question.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday," I sighed sitting down at the living room couch. Mom was still staring at me like I might explode.

"It's okay, I guess I haven't been the best mom lately," she said.

We both stared at the floor; I didn't know what to say.

"I'm leaving, Bella," she said finally. "I guess you haven't changed your mind."

I shook my head. "My life is here now, and I'm happy. I'm happy with the way things have turned out."

Mom nodded. "Okay."

"And Edward's great, really. You'd like him if you'd meet him. And I – I love him."

"Fine then," she smiled a little sadly. "But I want to meet him. Maybe you two could come to Forks this summer?"

"Sure," I said. "He'd like that." Maybe that wasn't exactly true, but I'd convince him. If it made my mother happy, I owed her that.

"Okay, bye then," she said and pulled me into a hug. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said hugging her back. I did. I loved her so much. She picked up her bags and I followed her to the front door. As I smiled her goodbye I felt more grown up than I ever had. It felt scary and a little sad and hopeful.

My phone rang when I got to my room.

"Hi, Edward," I said picking up.

"Hi, listen Bella, there's this party tonight, you coming?"

"I don't know Edward… "

"Please, Bella, I don't wanna go alone," Edward said sounding like a sulking child.

"Go with Alice," I suggested.

"She's not the best possible company right now. She'll probably want to drink her head off and we can take care of her together when she passes out."

"Well, when you put it that way – " I said.

"Yay! I knew you'd say yes," he said.

I chuckled. "Don't become too self-satisfied."

"I'll pick you up. See you later," he hung up before I had time to change my mind.

I was already leaving when Charlie got home.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yeah," I said after a while. "Edward's picking me up."

"I don't really think you should be going somewhere every other night with school and everything," Charlie said.

Actually I was starting to think so too. But right now, after everything, all I wanted was to spend some time with Edward and if we could watch over Alice at the same time, all the better. "Well I don't know about that, but I'm going out tonight."

"Don't talk to me like that," Charlie said. "I'm still your father!"

"Well, I'm sorry, _father_," I said. "But I really need to go now."

I marched out of the front door leaving him staring behind. Only when I was outside I realized that I might've actually been a little unnecessarily rude.

Edward was already waiting for me in the front yard. I hopped inside his car.

"Hi," Edward said kissing me. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," I said. "Let's go."

**So my birthday is tommorrow and reviews would be a really great gift ;)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks so much to _LilCullen454_, _ParamorFanFrLif_, _Kammi93_, _SugaransSweetXoXo_, _InsomniacEsha_, _Cherrybomb16_, _DanielleHalford_ and _TheRealMadHattress_ (by the way I was so flattered to hear that I inspire you, that's like one of the best things you can say to a writer!) for your comments :)**

**So guys, this is it, the last chapter! I'm really going to miss this fic! I know you're probably already bored with this, but I just wanted to say once more how much I appriciate you reading and commenting this. I really do love every review, you guys always make me smile! And some reviewers have commented in almost every chapter and really made me feel like you love this story as much as I love writing it and that's so amazing! Love you guys 3**

**And now one request: If you've read this far (and hopefully will read the last chapter too :D) leave a comment just to let me know you've read this. :) I would also like to know what did you especially liked about this fic, what do you think could've been done better, where do you think I could improve my writing?**

**By the way, I've already started to plan another AH fic. It's going to be different from this one and it's going to probably still take some time, until I get it here, but I hope you don't all forget me, and will read it when it comes! :)**

**Gosh I've talked a lot... But here's finally the last chapter:**

Chapter 20

**Bella's PoV**

We were walking towards the biology class hand in hand. We still got some weird stares from other students, because apparently the whole school found it unbelievable that Edward Cullen had a girlfriend. A real girlfriend, not just someone he screwed after a party, but someone he walked hand in hand in a school corridor. I wasn't holding his hand because of that, though. Practically I was dragging him alone, so that he wouldn't run away.

"Come on, Bella it's just one hour, we won't miss anything important."

"We've already talked about this," I said patiently. "I'm not ditching any more classes, besides it's almost summer holiday."

"Exactly. No one cares if we're here or not," Edward said.

"Oh right? How about Mr. Banner who said to you last week, that you're in trouble if you miss any more biology?" I reminded him.

"Fine then," Edward sighed. "But I'm only doing this because I love you."

"I know," I smiled and pushed him inside the biology class.

"I'm bored," Edward whispered into my ear after twenty minutes.

"Surprise surprise," I said punching him on the shoulder. "Now focus on the brain tissue."

"Let's get out of here," Edward said.

"Oh no," I moaned. "Not again."

"Yes," Edward said grinning. "Come on, Bella."

"No," I shook my head firmly.

Edward thought for a minute while I tried to figure out my exercises. "Okay let's make a bet. If I answer right to the next question Mr. Banner asks, then we're leaving."

"No," I said again. "You don't know anything about human brains."

"You're scared," Edward said triumphantly.

"No," I said.

"Yes, you are."

"No!"

"Yeees."

"Do you even own human brains?" I asked furiously.

"You are scared," Edward whispered. "Chicken."

"Fine then," I said annoyed. "You don't know the answer anyway."

It took a while until Mr. Banner finally asked: "So does anyone know from what grey matter consist of? Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

"Neuronal cell bodies and neuropil," Edward said.

"Very good, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Banner said looking a little surprised.

Edward raised his eyebrows at me. "You cheated," I said quickly. "You looked from the book."

"That's not cheating. You didn't say I can't look from the book," Edward pointed out.

"Come on, that's ridiculous," I said. "You can't just – "

"Rules are rules baby," Edward grinned. "And I won."

"Don't – " I started but Edward had already raised his hand.

"Mr. Banner, Bella and I have to go, we have student council meeting," Edward said and pulled me up.

He grabbed both of our books and we were out of the classroom before Mr. Banner had even time to say anything.

"I thought it was going to get boring now that we're officially dating and everything," I nudged Edward on the shoulder when we were sitting on our cliff behind the school. It was weird how I already thought of it as our cliff.

Edward chuckled. "No, never boring with me."

"I can't quite decide if it's a good or bad thing," I sighed grabbing his hand.

"Luckily summer's only few days away, I won't have time to ditch that many classes before," Edward said.

"Thank God for that," I laughed. "But, Edward, about summer, there's something we have to do."

"Do what?" he asked.

"At summer holiday. We have to go to Forks to see my mom," I sighed.

Edward turned to look at me. "What?" I knew he wasn't going to like it.

"Come on, Edward, I already told my mom we were coming," I said.

"Without asking me? Don't be ridiculous, your mom hates me."

"She does _not_ hate you, she said she wants to meet you," I pointed out.

"Yeah, probably so that she can figure out the best way to separate us," Edward said dryly.

"Oh come on, it's my mom we're talking about," I said pulling my hand out of his and crossing them on my chest. "It would be only for like a week, would it really be that bad?"

"Right, a week trapped in the middle of nowhere with your mom who hates me," Edward said. "It would be exactly that bad."

"She doesn't – "

"Oh yes, she does," Edward snorted.

"Fine then," I said angrily. "If it really was too much asked that you would care enough about me to do this one thing, fine then don't."

We sat there quietly, both looking at different directions.

Edward turned to look at me.

"What?" I snapped.

"It really means that much to you?" Edward asked in an apologizing tone.

"She's my family."

"Fine then," Edward sighed. "I'll come; I'll get to know her."

"Really?" I turned to look at him.

"Yeah," Edward said like it was that simple. "If it makes you happy."

"When did you become so mature, Edward?"

"I don't know, maybe somewhere in the middle of meeting a girl I can't live without," Edward said taking my hand.

"Don't exaggerate," I smiled shaking my head and not admitting that he really melted my heart with comments like that.

"I'm not exaggerating," he said looking into my eyes and his eyes were completely serious. I couldn't help but wonder how much things can change.

Edward drove me home because he had picked me up that morning. Charlie was home when I got there.

During the recent days I haven't talked to Charlie almost at all. Charlie probably just let me do whatever I wanted, because he was afraid if he told me to do something I wouldn't obey. And I was afraid I'd hurt his feelings and pushed him away from me. And guess we were both too proud to admit our mistakes, forgive and forget.

"Hi, dad," I said quietly stepping inside living room, where he was reading the morning's paper.

"Hi Bella," Charlie said rising his eyes from the paper. "How was your school day?"

"It was fine," I said and was already escaping upstairs when Charlie called me back.

"Hey, Bella."

"Yeah?"

"We should talk," Charlie said looking just as uneasy as I felt.

"About what?"

"Well, you know," Charlie couched. "Sue and I are worried about you. You hardly ever talk to us anymore and we don't know what's going on in your life."

"Dad…" I started but didn't know how to continue.

"And I know I haven't been the best possible father but I'm still your father and I care about you," he said quietly and I knew to someone who never showed how he felt that must've been hard. "I thought that we would get closer when you moved here, but now we're hardly talking at all.

"Look," I said sitting in one of the arm chairs and staring at my feet. "Maybe you haven't been the best dad, but it's not like I've been the best daughter either, and I'm – I'm sorry."

Charlie sighed not looking at me either. "I'm sorry too. I guess I'm just not good with that father stuff."

"No, that's not true, I think you're an awesome father," I said a little too quick.

Charlie looked at me raising his brows and suddenly we were both laughing.

"Well, I'm a crappy daughter too," I comforted him.

"I'm not even trying to deny that," Charlie smiled. "So what do you say, can we start all over again?" he asked after a short silence.

I nodded. "Yeah."

We fell into uncomfortable silence again. "So, I'm going to go do some homework now," I said and stood up.

"Okay," Charlie said and I escaped upstairs.

I felt better after talking to Charlie. I hadn't even realized how much it had been bothering me but now I felt better.

The last days of school went by quite normally, even though the atmosphere was lighter since everyone was already waiting for summer holiday.

Everything had fallen into place in the end, Jessica still glanced at me angrily sometimes when we passed at a corridor, but she didn't look like she could kill me anymore. Mike and I said hi when we saw each other, but we didn't really have anything else to say to each other anymore. Emmett and Rosalie were happily together at least for now, and Alice and Jasper – yeah, Alice and Jasper. They had slowly formed something like a really fragile friendship again. Jasper still probably couldn't really trust Alice and I still sometimes saw Alice glancing at Jasper with a sad expression, but at least she didn't dream about babies anymore. I knew Alice still loved Jasper, and maybe Jasper loved Alice too. I didn't know if they could ever be anything more than friends anymore, but I did hope they could learn to trust each other again.

And as for me and Edward – Edward tried hard to change for me. He wanted to learn how to be a good boyfriend and I thought he was afraid he'd mess it all again somehow. He didn't seem to get that after all I loved him the way he was, and that I didn't know any better how to be anyone's girlfriend. I guess we were both really still just incomplete and that's just something we have to accept.

Me, Rosalie and Alice were spending the last school afternoon at Alice's place. Tomorrow it was going to be prom. In Huntington Beach the prom was going to be in some fancy hotel. In Forks the prom had always been in the gym.

We were laying in Alice's back yard by the pool and the sun was shining on us. I closed my eyes and felt the sun on my face.

"Wait," Alice said suddenly jumping up. "I almost forgot!"

"What?" I said opening my other eye.

"Wait a sec," she said running back inside the house. I raised my brows at Rosalie who rolled her eyes.

She came back soon carrying a white box with her.

"Here," she said handing the box to me. "It's a gift for you."

I looked at her questioningly and opened the box. Inside was something soft and blue. It turned out to be a dress.

"It's your prom dress," Alice said almost jumping from excitement. "I knew you wouldn't remember to buy anything so I bought it for you."

"Right, a prom dress," I said quietly. She was absolutely right, I hadn't even thought about prom dresses until that. I raised it from the box. It was dark blue and silky, strapless dress and I absolutely loved it. "Wow Alice, thanks, it's beautiful," I said.

"You're welcome," she grinned apparently satisfied with herself.

I smiled putting the dress back to the box. "You're really good at this, you could become a stylist."

Alice smiled. "Who knows, maybe I will."

"Yeah," Rosalie said opening her eyes too. "Think about that, only one year of high school left and then we're supposed to know what we want to do with the rest of our lives."

"True," I said. It was kind of a scary thought. Because right now I didn't know anything about my future, I was only beginning to figure out the present.

"But right now I'm only going to think about how I'm wearing my hair tomorrow," Alice smiled. "We can worry about future later, right?" She didn't look just as happy as I would have wanted her to look, but she was getting better all the time.

I was standing in the middle of my room in front of the mirror. I felt a little nervous, that was actually weird, I never thought I would be that kind of girl. The girl who was excited and a little nervous few minutes before her boyfriend picked her up to take to the prom. I glanced at the mirror again. My hair was curled and the dress looked really pretty. I was wearing plain black ballet flat, even though I was quite more aware when it came to fashion, Alice still didn't get me convinced to wear high heels.

I think I looked okay. Different. I felt different too. I guess I had changed, I hadn't really realized it before this. I had just been thinking about how things have changed so fast around me, but looking back now, I had changed too. Maybe I had changed the most, I hardly even recognized myself, the girl who was staring back at me, with happy eyes and red lipstick, seemed somehow more grown up. More relaxed, more happy. Back in Forks I hadn't even realized if I was unhappy, I guess I hadn't really thought about it. My life was so normal, so dull, that I never even noticed. Guess sometimes it takes a new place to really see yourself.

And after all I rather liked this new place. I had grown to like Huntington Beach, liked the sun and warmth and the beach and above all liked the people. As weird as it seemed, this was my home now, the only place I belonged right now.

I heard the doorbell ring downstairs.

"Bella, Edward's here," Charlie said and I heard him open the door.

I grabbed my bag and run downstairs. Edward was wearing a suit and he looked strangely handsome in it. Kind of like grown up. He handed me a blue lily, just the same shade as my dress. Guess Alice had hinted him.

Charlie seemed quite satisfied with Edward's gentlemen behavior, and as unlike as it was to Edward, it was kind of fun.

"Charlie, I can't find our camera," Sue cried out from the other room.

"Wait a minute," Charlie said and run after her.

Edward smiled at me.

"Do you like the dress?" I asked spinning around in front of him.

Edward wrapped his arms around me. "The dress is okay," he whispered in my ear, "I'm more interested in what's under it."

I hit him on the shoulder with my bag. "Behave."

Edward just grinned and Sue and Charlie hurried back to the room, Sue holding the camera.

"Oh you two make such a cute couple," she said exited. "Edward you look so handsome with that suit, and Bella that dress is just _perfect_ for you!"

Unlike Charlie, Sue didn't need that much time to get used to Edward. Pretty soon when she'd found out that I wasn't pregnant after all, she'd decided that Edward and I were perfect for each other. Charlie had needed some more time to get used to us.

After about an hour the prom was already in full speed. I had never been to a prom before, so I didn't really know what to expect, but this was probably very different from prom in Forks.

The ballroom was big and it seemed to be sparkling in every different color. The band was playing in the stand, I didn't know them but they seemed really good.

Edward and I were sitting on the side when Alice appeared from somewhere. She was wearing a beautiful wine red dress that looked perfect with her short black pixie hair.

"Hi, she said holding a glass of punch and sitting next to Edward. "Enjoying the prom?"

"Sure," Edward said.

"Do you want this?" she asked from us holding her glass up. "This stuff is actually kind of disgusting, and why can't they put any alcohol in here?"

"Nope," Edward grinned mischievously. "I got my own." He pulled a bottle inside of his jacket looking quite pleased with himself.

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, why do you always have to be so badass?" I asked.

"It's natural, baby," Edward winked at me and took a long sip from his bottle.

"Right, give me some of that," I said taking the bottle from his hand.

Jasper sat next to us and Alice gave him a shy smile.

"Bella, wanna dance?" Edward asked when the song changed into a slower one and I took his hand and we walked to the dance floor.

Rosalie and Emmett were dancing next to us but it looked more like an intense make out session.

Edward wrapped his arms slowly around me. It felt like they belonged there. I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"You know, I'm really glad I moved here," I whispered in his ear.

"I'm really glad too," Edward said after a short silence. It felt like there was something else he wanted to say.

"What?" I looked at him.

"You know," he started slowly, like he was about to say something really embarrassing. "I didn't even realize I was missing something, until I met you."

I smiled looking straight into his eyes.

Edward laughed. "Okay, that did sound fucking ridiculous but I do love you."

"It didn't sound ridiculous," I objected. "It was sweet."

"You know that is the problem with you too," Emmett suddenly interrupted in a slightly drunken voice. "You talk too much, talking is completely overrated in a relationship, you should learn from me and Rosalie."

"Yeah because you're fucking experts in relationships," Edward rolled his eyes. "Let us be, can you see that we're trying to dance here."

"So are we," Emmett grinned.

"Come on Em," Rosalie laughed. "You're such a jackass; I don't know why I love you."

"Because I'm so irresistible," Emmett answered.

"Guys," Rosalie mouthed at me over Emmett's shoulder. I had to grin, that was so true. Most of them were probably idiots, but somehow they still got you crazy and even though you always thought you didn't need one, suddenly you couldn't imagine your life without them. And you weren't even sorry. But then again, guess that's just love.

The prom went on just like a prom should, or at least I thought so. Edward and I danced a lot and laughed a lot and I felt kind of lightheaded, but then again, that might be the scotch.

After midnight when the prom had officially ended, we were all sitting on a big rock near the hotel. Edward had wrapped his jacket around me, since the night was getting chilly and he had gotten another bottle of jack somewhere and we were already halfway through it, so maybe that was the reason why everything started to feel a little blurry and even funnier than before.

"I knew it," Alice said sitting next to me and Edward. "I always knew you'd make a great couple."

Edward laughed. "Really? Is that the reason why you told me to stay as far away from her as possible?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Well, fine. I didn't have any fucking idea this would happen. I still don't get what the heck happened; you were like the two least likely people to end up together."

"Life happened," I laughed and leaned against Edward. I never guessed it too. When Edward first walked into my life I didn't have any idea that he would change everything and when he stumbled on my heart and broke it in a way no one had done before, I didn't knew that it wouldn't matter anymore.

I didn't knew that nothing else would matter than me sitting here right now, in this place, this night, between my best friend and the boy who loved me. And I was sure there was so much ahead of us, so many good and bad things coming on, and I wasn't scared to live anymore, I didn't try to hide from life anymore, because guess that's what I was doing before. But right now the future could wait.

Right now all I needed was right now.


End file.
